Yeah, but given that you admit that enjoyed molesting a mentally retarded 15 year old girl, your opinion on normal human relations are, at best, laughable.
Sehmket, understand I don’t know the details of your situation but your entire OP and your follow ups could all have been written by my ex. And I’m not a bad guy IRL. And I’ve said some not nice things here about her that I still stand behind because they’re my perspective on her. You don’t want to hear this because it’s too soon, but the less energy you spend hating him and blaming him, the better off you’ll be. Accept you two were a poor match and embrace the divorce as if you both are being released from a prison. Wish him well, don’t engage in ex-sex (no really, don’t do it no matter how much you miss the familiarity and the times when you were good together)…
…and most of all relearn who you are underneath the bitterness. This is your big chance to reinvent yourself, but you can’t start doing that until you’ve let go of him. Good luck.
It hurt like all fuck to dump my ex, who made me feel like that. Then I met my now-husband and for months after we got serious I’d still be surprised, like when you pick up a Coke can that you expect to be full and then it’s empty and your hand flies up, that things were so easy. He’d just take the trash out because it needed taking out. I didn’t have to tell him, he just did it. He just went to dinner with my parents, and I’d thank him and he’d be confused as to why. “It’s important to you, isn’t it?”
You won’t believe how easy it’s actually supposed to be.
And this is why you didn’t get to be Will Hunting’s therapist.
A-fu&*in’-men to this! Here’s hoping it goes smoothly for you!
Yeah, some percentage may be you but the larger fraction is your ex.
For those of you who gave me some internet love a few months ago… my lazy ex finally got around to filing… 30-45 days and I will be back to my “real” name, legally free from someone who’s been way, way too complicated in my life.
Congratulations! That’s really great news.
I hope seeing the light at the end of the tunnel is lifting your spirits.
I didn’t see the thread first time around, but I just read through it now. I’m glad you’re on your way to being rid of him for good.
Did I call it or what? Tincture of Time works.
It’s just so damned slow-acting.
Hey, mistakes happen. We all learn and grow.
New smileys 
:mad: :eek: 
but spell it “passed” 
To the OP, my wife was in a similar position with her ex before he finally left…then she met me.
I think she is “the smartest, and the best, and the most awesome” person in the world and she thinks the same of me. (which may or not be true! ;))
Keep your chin up and stay the course and you will find that you will be much happier in the end.
Sehmket, good for you. It’s hard to make huge changes like that, but in the long run, it’s often the best option, however much it sucks at the time.
Continuing this thread because it’s related…
I am getting frustrated at the Kentucky court system. For a lot of reasons, my ex is the one who’s doing the actual filing and paperwork for the divorce. I had to nag him about getting around to doing it, but we had everything signed with the lawyer as of Feb 17, meaning it was filed Feb 18… let’s even say 19th. The Lawyer said 35 days, because they hold it for 30 days, just because. Everything else I read online said 4-6 weeks is normal for our state.
It is now six weeks later.
I really, really want to get my name legally changed. It’s actually causing some frustration for me, because I’m trying to make some major life changes, and I don’t want to put anything on paper under my old name.
I am pulling my hair out… here I am, being stymied again because he didn’t give a shit about what I want.
Do you have to wait for the divorce to change your name? Isn’t there some separate legal procedure you can use? Or would that screw up the divorce somehow (e.g. if your new name doesn’t match the name on the divorce papers)?
Ask your lawyer about the name change, it’s possible that you can start using your new/old name already without waiting for the divorce to be finalized.
Different legal system, but step one in my own name change (simplifying the spelling of the firstname, from four or two words depending on which legal document you’re looking at, into one) requires me to prove that I’ve been using the “new” version :smack: Yes, since I was old enough to introduce myself, FFS! But until I learned of this, all my paperwork had the name copied from official documents, so the old version. :smack: cubed! And I know that I’ve seen threads here were (paraphrased) people were saying that in at least some US locations, once you start using a specific name all over it’s pretty much your legal name, there’s places which don’t require any more to make it official.
Generally you have to pay for a name change, but the fee is waived for people who are marrying, divorcing, or being adopted.
ETA: My wife waited too long to change her name after our marriage (not that it’s any skin off my nose) and now she’d have to pay a $340 fee.
As others have said, the easiest (and cheapest) way to go about this is to take the decree to the Social Security office and get a new social. Then one can use the social and/or the decree to get most other things changed. If one wants to change one’s name to something completely different, one usually needs a court order anyway, or a willing ear at the Social Security office, both of which cost several hundred dollars.
The thing that’s kind of holding me back is the driver’s license. I’m working on moving to another state, and I want to establish residency there so that I can get in-state tuition when I go back to school. However, I don’t want to transfer my car and license until I have the decree, so that I don’t have to pay to get the name changed on any of those.
Really, in the big picture, there’s not a lot I can do other than wait, and be annoyed at my Ex, who said he was going to do this back in July. The fact that he waited seven months to do it, and only after I nagged him about it… that’s a large part of the reason he’s my ex.
Are you me?
Sehmket, I am sorry you are going through this. Hopefully what happened to me will happen to you. One day - I hope sooner rather than later - the sun will be a little brighter, your step will be a little lighter, and you’ll realize this is just a memory and that life is really, really good. It will happen.
Chiming in with ‘The best revenge is living well’ too.
And to say…How u doin? 8)
How’s life been for you? What have you found, or re-found, to be new and exciting?