“Yes, yes, you’re anguish sustains me.”
“HELLO CLEVELAND!”
“Hi, Peter.”
What the hell was that? Seemed pretty modern-Simpson and many jokes fell flat.
Still, some of the gags were ok.
Even though it was a cartoon, it was good to see Jimmy Fallon getting beaten up.
Brian barking at the black person was pretty funny (although one wonders why he never barked at Cleveland but then one remembers it is a cartoon show.)
That was freakin’ sweet. I laughed and laughed.
“I could strangle her all night!”
The jokes were deeply offensive, vile, and inappropriate. Bravo, Mr. Macfarlane!
“What are you doing in jail?”
“I, uh, stomped a cat to death.”
‘Meg On Your Face’ was priceless.
Took me a second or two to get the joke.
I’m curious. . .what was that song that they performed? Was it written for the show? Or (fates forfend) did someone actually perform it in the real world?
Waste
“Wow. It can’t be healthy when that’s the first place I go to.”
Stewie running through the mall saying he escaped from Kevin Spacey’s basement had me howling and vaguely confused. Is there a rumor out there that I haven’t heard?
The Jimmy Fallon beat down was deserved and enjoyable. “Looking at the camera and laughing at your own jokes like you’re Carol Burnett. You’re not her. You don’t have the right.”
There have been rumors for a while that Spacey is gay, but he doesn’t get all bent out of shape and publicly deny them and sue anyone who says it, like Tom Cruise does.
I thought it was pretty mediocre. I hope they are just finding their way back to where they were before cancellation.
It was pretty much on par with last night’s American Dad (which I find more enjoyable every week).
There were some not funny things, but there were a bunch of really funny lines to go with it.
“Did I friggin stutter? I said, ‘More. Skittles!’”
The “No coke. Pepsi!” still gets me too 
“Meg, you and your family are going to perform on Saturday Night Live!”
Peter: “You mean I’m going to get to meet John Belushi and Gilda Radner and Phil Hartman and Chris Farley and Horatio Sanz? Sweet!”
It was that last name that turned a meh joke into Comedy Gold.
Somewhat similarly, in the Simpson’s episode, they find the law on the books that all men must be wearing hats (or something) and they all have hats except for Smithers.
Wiggum tells him, “Don’t worry Smithers, if I didn’t arrest that night in the park, I’m not going to arrest you now.”
Maybe it was just a “gays in the park” joke but it reminded me of this Kevin Spacey incident.
You recall the part where Stewie thinks of how Meg would look in Low-rider pants? He tries to banish the thought but it keep coming back, and finally, he grabs the thought balloon, wrestled it to the ground, and smashes it to pieces with a rolling pin. I loved it. However, I fully expected for the joke to go on longer, and was very surprised when nothing else happened, such as Peter walking into the room and slipping on the remains of the thought.
Oh, and another vote for American Dad being very funny.
P.S. I missed the first few seconds, and only turned on the Tv after all but the last credit stopped rolled. Anyone want to tell me the gag from very beginning of the show?
Meg shopping for clothes chooses the shirt that has “Sperm Dumpster” written in glitter on it.
Meh…Family Guy still has a slight edge on American Dad. Mainly because the friggin’ alien didn’t stay dead like I hoped it would.