Whenever I feel a fart coming on(among good company), I usually give it a little booster by tightening my abdominal muscles which results in a more audible report. I figure that as long as people are going to smell it, why should they recieve coach-class service when I have a first-class burst to offer? I understand that some older folks don’t recieve the same warning notice that us young bucks do, and to them the choice to not release a fart is not quite applicable. Nor do they experience as many situations where they would “save face” by holding one in(i.e. quiet libraries/classrooms, first dates, second dates, etc.)
I notice my insecurity about farting appears mostly on dates and I have caught myself clinching my sphincter on even the second and third dates! It is definitely indicative of how comfortable I am with my company and I have seriously considered eating beans the entire day before the date so I will be forced to accept my true feelings, judging the success of the date not by whether or not I got laid, but rather how comfortable I felt letting a fart fly during those quiet gassy moments.
IMHO, a fart is a gift from God, a simple reminder that life can be funny and that we should be comfortable with our bodies because Lord Knows, everyone farts, even smelly old you. What does one have to gain by not farting when nature calls? A belly ache? The maintenance of a delusional, convoluted, and self-destructive mindset? Don’t get me wrong, I am not necessarily a pro-“lettin’ 'em fly” fundie fanatic, just a conscientious observer of silly human behaviors. 