Here goes… Why do small silent farts smell worse than large not so silent farts?
no matter where you go…there you are
More solids? 
This question seems familiar.
Peace,
mangeorge
Work like you don’t need the money…
Love like you’ve never been hurt…
Dance like nobody’s watching! …Unknown
Now what about them Hershey Squirts?
They have to be raunchiest of them all.
Damn things leave racing stripes to you shorts too, for continued enjoyment at the later date!
Cogito Ergo Vroom
I think therefore I ride fast…
Stand well clear of magnetic instruments Hannu, you may be a hazard to navigation
It only hurts when I laugh.
I’m deaf, so all farts are silent.
But they smell so deaf people can enjoy them too!!!
Maybe because the big ones have more air?
Silent or loud, the smell depends on the fuel.
A little wind powered by sauerkraut can empty an elevator in seconds.
Anything with tomato sauce gives my brother “greasy” farts. They are the most vile things you can imagine!
God, this thread is gross…but you notice I’m still here! My dad raised me to appreciate the humor inherent in a little intestinal gas, my husband thinks othewise (spoil sport).
Beans, beans, the musical fruit… 
…it has never been my way to bother much about things which you can’t cure.
- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court-Mark Twain
Gee, I always called them skid marks.
BunnyGirl, didn’t they de-fart beans years back? You know they make them so they don’t make people fart, at least not as much. Boy you should have been around in 60’s now there were some big bean farts.
Boy, I’m AMAZED that loverock hasn’t weighed in on this thread yet. Come on, son, we need your wisdom!
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
I have a theory on silent=stinky loud=not as bad. When you hear a large fart you usually decide to stop breathing through your nose. However if you don’t have advance warning the smell catches you by suprise.
Thirsty, great theory! Unfortunately, my dad must be some kind of anomoly to the whole loud=not smelly and silent=deadly theory. You have to run from the room before he even thinks of farting, they’re so bad. Can you say “Pabst Blue Ribbon beer fart”? We’re hoping for his eventual recovery someday from RND (Red-Neck Disease).
Handy, maybe it was all the hippies in the 60’s going vegetarian. I think I read in a different thread somewhere that vegetarian farts are the worst!!! All those simple sugars…Hey, did you know that Michigan is the largest producer of navy beans in the US? What a great state to be in!
…it has never been my way to bother much about things which you can’t cure.
- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court-Mark Twain
Soak the beans! Soak 'em overnight and pour the soak water down the drain.
If you have time, soak the beans again and dispose of second soak water, too.
Any other advice to de-wind anything gladly accepted.
There is an herb called epizota (sp?) which will de-gas beans. My mother not only swears by it, she grows it and give out jars to everyone who gets near her. Use sparingly, it doesn’t need much for the effect & the taste is strong.
And if you can remember - take beano before the meal.
Mastery is not perfection but a journey, and the true master must be willing to try and fail and try again
There are substances that will completely destroy the silence/lethalness correlation.
Asparagus schnapps, for example.
Only flatulation I’ve been completely, utterly, God-I-wish-I-could-crawl-in-a-hole-and-die embarrassed by.
Cave Diem! Carpe Canem!
Where on earth did you come by Asparagus Schnapps?
Asparagus schnapps makes your pee stink. Some tradeoff!
There’s a product on the market called “Beano”. It works.
Peace,
mangeorge