Fate throws me a curve: romance story

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m 28-years-old, yet sometimes I feel more boy than man, especially when it comes to the old emotions.

I have a very good friend, let’s call her Ann. Now, I’ve known Ann since high school. She was my first date to a homecoming dance, and one of my first loves. Nothing ever happened between me and Ann, but we’ve always maintained an intermittent, yet fairly close friendship. Ya know, one of those people who you don’t talk to for a year or so and you pick up the conversation as if it were yesterday you last spoke.

A couple years ago, after we had gone our separate ways for about four years, I came into contact with Ann again. We met on my vacations home from Budapest. Much to my surprise, I realized I still had a crush on her, but didn’t act on it since I had a girlfriend at the time. It kind of confused me, but I chalked it down to nostalgia, or something like that.

Christmas 2002 I saw her once more, and was still surprised to find out I still had feelings for her. This time, I wrote her a letter from Budapest, admitting my thoughts, and got a favorable response. One that said something like “I love you. I love you like Chicago…As for what my lips taste like, I imagine pure goodness, but don’t worry, one day you’ll find out. You know that.”

That’s a good sign, right?

Well, in an unforseen turn of events, I ended up back in Chicago in November. Now I had a chance to seriously pursue Ann. But I decided I had to get my bearings straight first, reacclimate to Chicago, and figure out what I really feel – is this real, or is this just me romanticising about some time in the past?

So on Tuesday, I finally decided, yep, I love her. Truly. Madly. Deeply. And I wrote a letter. Not because I was afraid to say it to her face, but because I wanted to carefully weigh my thoughts and to have something permanent – I used to be a very impulsive person and I didn’t want to be too rash. She’s 27, I’m 28 so if something’s gonna happen, chances are it’s gonna be pretty serious.

Today we meet for lunch. I got the ol’ adolescent jitters while talking to her on the phone, but she conveyed no sign that she got my letter. When we finished lunch, I noticed she was giggling a lot. I asked her why and she shied away. Then she admitted, “I got kissed yesterday.”

Hmmm… Well, that throws a spanner into the works, no?

So I said, “Ah…so you didn’t get my letter, did you?”

Complete utter surprise. Her hands when to her mouth, an “oh no” expression on her face: “What letter?”

“No?”

“What letter? What did the letter say?”

It’s clear by the situation what The Letter said, but anyway I replied: “Well, basically, Ann, I love you.”

Hands to her face, obviously gushing, but completely taken aback: “Oh my God. Oh my God. I feel like a total asshole now. Pete? I … I … I love you too, and I’m in love with you, but … I had no idea … Last week I finally gave up and figured you just wanted to be friends.”

“The flowers didn’t clue you in? I had no idea you were interested in me?”

“Are you kidding? I’ve totally been interested in you. I do love you. I do love you like Chicago. I’m so sorry.”

Most of this speech has been edited down. Her side mostly consisted of shifting facial expression and grunts of amazement. But the guy who kissed her, he’s a good friend, too. But what can I do? I can’t just say “Well, what’s the problem. Drop the guy and let’s get it on?” No. By her astonishment and knowing her for so long, I know she was sincere, and I know she was completely shocked. Letting me down easy would be “Pete, I’m not interested in you.” Not this.

So WTF now? I can’t really say anything. I don’t want to interfere. But what the heck CAN I do? Do I just give up? Or do I stoke the fire? Argh…

Of all the scenerios playing in my head after sending out that letter, this was not even considered.

2

Damn. That’s a really, really tough situation.

Keep in mind that it’s also a really tough situation for her; she’d given up and has apparently started something with Other Guy. Come to think of it, it’s probably going to be really tough for him, too.

Your narrative stops a little early, I think. What did she say she wants to do? Does she want you and not this other guy? Or is she “torn” and needs time to think about it?

How did this conversation end?

3

Someone will be screwed in this situation. Let it not be you. Go for the girl. Go Go Go.

4

No. I completely understand it’s tough for her. I’m a fairly empathetic person. I’m glad I’m not at all in her position.

How did the conversation end? Well, most a series of stunned stutters. I told her she didn’t have to say anything. She kept on trying, but never got anywhere. I figured the best reaction was to say “Hey, it’s cool. You don’t have to say anything.” I didn’t broach the subject of what she wants to do. I honestly don’t think she had enough time to digest everything that had just transpired.

She never said she wants me and not him. She never said she wants him and not me. If I’m understanding correctly, I think “torn” is best to describe her, but she’s already started (no matter how early it is) something with the other guy, so she may feel it wouldn’t be fair to stop that. I trust that he’s a good guy and friend, too, and I would never put her in a situation where she would just have to flat-out choose.

Afterwards, we did some shopping (for her father’s birthday), I drove her home, we watched a DVD with her roommates, and went home. I was invited to stay for some party tonight, but I felt considering that the other guy was going to be there, I didn’t want to mess around with that and make a fool of myself. It’s not that I don’t want to step up to the “competition” or whatnot. It’s that she knows the facts, and I figure the ball should be more or less in her court now.

5

I think she’s already in that situation.

I think the right thing to do is first to make it clear exactly how you feel. Sounds like your conversation before was kind of shocking and stilted, so tell her exactly what’s going on: how you feel, how you’ve always felt, and also that you understand what’s up with Other Guy and don’t want to jeopardize that by your presence. Make it very clear that you’re crazy about her, but we’re all adults here and she has to look out for herself, and blah blah blah.

Then stand back and let her choose; that’s what’s going to have to happen, and jumping around shouting “me me me!” isn’t going to make you any more attractive.

And let us know how it goes; somebody’s going to get their heart broken here, so let’s hope it’s not you.

6

I think it’s pretty clear to her what the situation is. And I get the added “positive reinforcement” when the letter arrives. I’ve told her what I always felt. I told her how the thing I was looking most forward to when I came back to Chicago was her. I don’t think the conversation was as stilted as I’ve made it out to be. I don’t think I have any more cards to lay out on the table.

I’m not too worried about getting my heart broken, as I wasn’t expecting anything to come of this situation. Although the “close, but no cigar” outcome is a wee bit annoying. I wasn’t at all counting for that. Thanks for the wishes, though. We’ll see how it all pans out.

7

Good luck, because Love is never easy…
(hoping she doesn’t hurt you or the other guy, too much)

8

I think jackelope and SanguineSpider have said it better than I could. Good luck, man.

9

Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. I just drank like 3/4 of a bottle of Bushmills (750 ml) and a couple of friend I haven’t seen in 6 years visited. What a weird night it has been…