fav comic book quote

“Is that… a monkey?”
“HE’S GOT A GUN!!!”

from Hellboy, “Box Full of Evil”

The Maxx is full of great quotes.

(going from memory)
“It’s time for cheers now. Sam and Diane, Norm Peterson and Coach, and after he died, Woody. I don’t have a TV now, but that’s ok. The shows in my mind are almost always better.”

“What a cruel world, letting something so profound be conveyed in words this trite.”

“Life is pretty pathetic when even your own hallucinations lie to you.”

“The sad thing is, that didn’t kill me. It just really really really really really really really hurt.”

Judge Death : Gaze into the face of fear.

Judge Dredd : Gaze into the fist of Dredd.
Recently voted best ever moment in 25 years of the 2000AD comic. You really have to see the accompanying panel for the full effect.

Dammit!

That should of course be

Judge Fear : Gaze into the face of fear.

One of the classics – it’s made it into books of quotations – is by The Impossible Man in one of the early issues of The Fantastic Four (circa issue #11):

“We Poppupians don’t need names! We know who we are!”

Quotations From The Political Philosophy Of Cobra Commander

“Aggghhhh! Why don’t those Joes get out of my way and let me rule the world like a tyrant should!”

“I’m not a power hungry tyrant, I just want to rule the world!”

“I had forgotten how easily corrupted most human beings are! All I had to do to own them was to wave large sums of money in front of them. I was unstoppable! Others lament the moral decline of this nation, but I REJOICE! It made me rich a SECOND time!”

“Give up POWER and MONEY to be HONEST? GET REAL!”

“I, of course, am the ORIGINAL inimitable COBRA COMMANDER! Bow down and tremble, why don’t you?”

“This is SWEET! Now I have all of my WORST ENEMIES in my power! I can make them all DIE! Who said, life is not FAIR?”

“I’m as American as APPLE PIE and MOTHERHOOD! I believe in FREE ENTERPRISE, because that’s he AMERICAN WAY!”

“Circumstances are NEVER in your favor if you are weak-willed namby-pamby SECOND GUESSERS! VICTORY belongs to those who have the courage to STRIKE hard and fast…and IGNORE the CASUALTIES!”

“Who cares about LOOKS? All I care about is MATERIAL GAIN and STAYING ALIVE!”

“How many PURGES do I have to hold before I get some competant sycophants around here?”

“This will not DO! This is spoiling my day! I wanted to get in some prime uninterrupted GLOATING TIME!!!”

“Taking people’s MONEY away isn’t HALF as SATISFYING as making them SUFFER!”

“Those slimy CORPORATE WEASELS are all the same! Give them an INCH and they take TWENTY MILES and a CORNER OFFICE! I’m going to personally perforate his peritoneum.”

(Upon return to a deserted Cobra Island) “What’s going on here? I can’t go off to raid the Pit without everything going to PIECES aound here? Where’s the BAND? Everyone KNOWS I like to hear Wagner’s ‘Ride of the Valkyries’–Allegro Con Brio when I get home!”

“I want that uxorious chome-visaged twit and his xanthippic consort winkled out like the limaceous bivalves they are! I want them reduced to a stinking pile of SLUDGE!”

“I absolutely ADORE the civil strife that accompanies the dissolution of national political entities! Wholesale slaughter! Mass destruction! Enormous PROFIT MARGINS on COBRA WEAPON SALES!”

“Greetings, Destro. You too, Zartan. I was just over in the next country, undermining the moral fibre of the new government, and I thought I’d drop by and offer you your old jobs back.”

“GET HIM NOW!!! MOW HIM DOWN!! FILL HIM FULL OF LEAD! BLOW HIM AWAY!! TERMINATE HIM WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!!!”

“I’m not going to let them do it, Billy. I’m not going to be ground under the wheels of big government! They’re calling my sales program a pyramid scheme! But I’m going to create an underground organization that will bypass government restrictions, and garner power through terrorism and extortion! And I won’t stop with Springfield! I won’t stop until my organization coils around the whole world like a giant…COBRA!”

“I used to be a used car dealer, Destro! You could say that forming Cobra was a step towards honesty for me!”

Another Alan Moore quote, the kind where just a few words can make it to where the otherwise normal world now seems totally wrong.

From Swamp Thing, Abby is in despair because she thinks Alec Holland is dead. Her husband leads her away, and in the foliage the Fluoronic Man crouches hidden, watching them. “Good, they’re gone,” he thinks to himself. “If there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s the sound of steak sobbing.”

Another Alan Moore quote, the kind where just a few words can make it to where the otherwise normal world now seems totally wrong.

From Swamp Thing, Abby is in despair because she thinks Alec Holland is dead. Her husband leads her away, and in the foliage the Fluoronic Man crouches hidden, watching them. “Good, they’re gone,” he thinks to himself. “If there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s the sound of steak sobbing.”

“Hulk SMASH!”

(Ah, the simple profundity of it…)

Ils sont fous, ces Romains.

There’s a great Magneto monologue from Uncanny #275. It’s after Mags has just gotten his powers and some youth back from Zaladane. Rogue, Ka-zar, and Nick Fury have helped him defeat her and her forces. He now has the choice of killing her or letting SHIELD capture her. He gives an overview of his entire life including his stint as an X-man and teacher of the New Mutants and how he failed at that. The last line is something close to this “I can never be Charles Xavier. I will never be Charles Xavier. I was a fool to try.”
He then impales Zaladane with a bunch of spikes.

From an issue of Silver Surfer about five years ago, written by J. M. Dematteis:
The Surfer comments to Doctor Strange that it feels good to be able to feel sorrow, rather than feeling nothing, “It is a paradox.”
Doc Strange responds, “To be human, Surfer, is to live in a constant state of paradox.”

Blue Blistering Barnacles!

From a JLA comic by Grant Morrison, Batman after socking a sabotaged Promethius :“I’ve never hit anyone with motor neuron disease before.”

From LOVE AND ROCKETS: “If you were really hardcore, that bottle would’ve been full.”

From Cerebus:

“How does Cerebus get down from here?”
“You don’t. You go up.”

“The weed of crime bears bitter vegetables.”

“Unorthodox…economic…revenge!” Hsssssss."

Great Caesar’s ghost!

“I’m the Right Reverend William F. Bailey, specialist in walking on coals, speaking in tongues and snake-handling.”
That was from the Captain Kentucky strip (somewhere in the 60’s or 70’s), successor to the Pertwillaby Papers. Those of you who have heard of Keno Don Rosa know what I’m talking about.
The above quote may be somewhat obscure, but I think it would crack up anyone who was living in the Louisville area in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s when WAKY-AM, in the last great days of AM radio, featured Bob Moody, Coyote Calhoun, and the Duke of Louisville.

I have to pull from the Sandman again and say:

“To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mist, and may each and everyone of us give the devil his due”

something like that, I dont have it in front of me at the moment but its a great toast for all occaisions

UT! is good. But my favorite from Flaming Carrot:
“Panic is good! Why do you want to burn the ass?”