I forgot one from Why I Hate Saturn:
(after Saturn explains that urine is sterile and could’ve been used as drinking water by astronauts but they had a psychological problem with drinking their own urine):
“Astronauts are such fucking primadonnas.”
And a related one from Sam & Max: Bad Day On The Moon:
Max: Yeah, you can breathe here! Apparently those candy-ass astronauts never had the stones to try it!
Sam: I could never say that about an astronaut.
And since the Sam & Max floodgates have been opened:
Sam: Speak of the devil!
Max: The devil… the devil… the devil…
Sam (to Max as he goes into a restroom): Don’t touch anything in there without using this pair of tongs!
Max: Anything?
Sam: Who doesn’t enjoy breakfast in a greasy roadside diner? I know I do, and so does my hairy little friend! And Max does, too!
“It looks like something from a Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade gone horribly awry! Let’s flee this joint, lest we be trod upon!”
“Ooh–I hate it when you say, ‘lest we be trod upon!’”
“And now for an interesting demonstration of physics” (as Sam jams a stick through the spokes of a motorcycle that’s chasing them).
“Where do you keep that gun, Max?”
“None of your damn business, Sam” (Max doesn’t wear clothes…)
“I wish I was playing fizzball…”
When Rick Jones got married, the Impossible man thought it was going to be a very boring wedding, so he invited all manner of enemies (super-villains). Rick realized that things were not going to go well, so he appointed the Silver Surfer as the peacekeeper for the wedding. Two bad guys were about to duke it out, when the Surfer drifted up on his board…
Rick Jones’ wedding. What comic is it in? I love Rick Jones (especially the asshole paranoid folks singer from Alias) and the Impossible man. I must read it.
The late 80s JLA was full of funny lines. I just wish I could remember some of them.
I did like it when, at the beginning of Our Worlds At War, when Superman woke up with all the citizens of Metropolis in an unknown environment, he went off to try and find out where they were. When he looked out and discovered they were in a spaceship nowhere near Earth he had one of my favorite lines.
“Crap.”
You just don’t hear Supes say that very often, but it was quite appropriate.
Joker: We aren’t contracturally tied down to reality! There is no sanity clause!
[sub]oh, yeah, and at the end:[/sub]
JOKER: It’s all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for . . . It’s all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can’t you see the funny side? Why aren’t you laughing?
BATMAN: Because I’ve heard it before. And it wasn’t funny the first time.
?!? Yeah, Sam and Max began as a comic book. They started showing up in the LucasArts newsletter once Steve Purcell started working for LucasArts, then of course there was the adventure game. But Steve has always created/owned the characters and licensed them for the game; they’re not “owned” by LEC.
All the comics, including the books and Adventurer strips, are collected in the book Sam and Max Surfin’ The Highway, which is now out of print, dammit. (I lost my signed copy!!!) If you look around on Ebay sometimes you can find the single issues or copies of the collection.
Which reminds me of another of my favorite quotes, from Steve Purcell’s Toybox:
“I hate Puddy the Frozen Dessert Goon, Suda! He’s such a pompous irritant. I’d like to slap his creamy head.”
One false move, and I will shoot you.
What’s a false move? Is it very different from a real one?
Can I have a name?
Don’t you have a name?. . . If you don’t have a name, what do people call you? I mean, do they just wave and smile, or jingle little silver bells or what?
And I can’t find my Tick Omnibus or I could quote something besides: