Stewie: “Wait, wait! That man seems to have suffered a rather serious snakebite.”
Peter Griffin: I love having visitors. Except for that time Moby Dick came to stay with us.
[Cut to the Griffin kitchen. Peter and Moby Dick are sitting across from each other]
Moby Dick: Do you have any Raisin Bran?
Peter Griffin: Uh, no. Sorry, we don’t.
Moby Dick: Oh. Well, could you maybe get me some?
Peter Griffin: Oh, geez, that’s kind of a pain in the… You know, we have Total, and we have some raisins. You could mix them together, that would be kind of like…
Moby Dick: Yeah, it would be like Raisin Bran, but it wouldn’t really be Raisin Bran…
Peter Griffin: …Kinda splittin’ hairs here…
Moby Dick: …Not really doing it for me.
Peter Griffin: What time did you say your flight was again?
I like the one where Stewie’s suspected of being possessed, so the Griffins have to hide until the furor dies down. The part where Brian and Stewie go into the bathroom and he dressed up like a girl is the best.
“I feel right, Brian. I feel right.”
The Freakin’ FCC wasn’t really a throwaway, but it’s one of my all time favorite bits.
As much as I hate to say it, I’m also a big fan of Prom Night Dumpster Baby. It’s just so wrong and over the top.
Son Isaac to dad Abraham walking down Mount Moriah. “What the fuck was THAT about?”
Haven’t watched since the original run, but I remember being fond of: “Like that time when Abraham tried to kill Isaac” followed by a shot to Abraham Lincoln shooting the bartender on the Love Boat.
Stewie going back in time to see Jesus and finding out the stories about him are a bit over exaggerated. Link
Meg: I want god to kill all the girls that are prettier than me.
Peter: Jeez Meg, that pretty much just leaves England.
Too keep with the theme here:
-At the grave of Brian’s mother-
Brian:Just say something, please!
Stewie:Oh for god’s sake. Uhm… yea and God said to Abraham; “You will kill your son Isaac.” And Abraham said, “I can’t hear You, you’ll have to speak into the microphone.” And God said, “I’m sorry, is this better? Check check… check. Jerry, pull the high end out, I’m still getting some hiss back here.”
By far my favorite was their Star Wars episode. A split second after a standard space scene showing a tie fighter fly by, another, completely tricked out tie fighter rocks and bounces by with typical BOOM-CHISS-BOOM BOOM-CHISS music emanating from its cabin. Hubby and I were in tears laughing at that one, and we of course had to watch it over, and over, and over again. It completely caught us off guard, making it all the funnier.
Loved the bit where they’re on FAMILY FEUD.
Peter: “Well, Richard, my family seems to think that ‘money’ is the way to go, so I’m gonna go with the flute that Captain Picard played, first in his imagination and then in real life, in the episode ‘The Inner Light’ from Star Trek: The Next Generation.”
Lois: “What?! No, you idiot, we said money!”
Richard: "Show me – Picard’s flute!
[“Picard’s Flute” appears on the board with one response]
Lois: “Peter, how did you…”
Peter: “I was in the survey.”
My favorite joke from the movie. It’s hilarious because it’s the most non-blasphemous joke Family Guy ever made.
Similarly, “Remember when God told Abraham to kill Isaac?”
(Flash to Abraham Lincoln pulling a pistol and shooting Isaac the bartender)
Hilariously enough, that’s how I remember which is which in that bible story.
-Joe
When Peter and Lois are role playing and about to get it on and she walks in dressed like Grimace from the McD’s commercials.
Lois dressed as Grimace: You’ve got some hamburgers I can steal!
Peter: Lois, the Hamburgler steals burgers, Grimace is Ronald McDonald’s retarded friend.
http://video.adultswim.com/family-guy/role-playing-night.html
The Grimace bit had me in tears the first time I saw it.
Since you took that one, I’ll throw up Disraeli
Another one that had me in tears. I think it’s the pure disdain for the viewers that is so funny - “You don’t even know who I am.” Works as a “smart” reference, kills as a disdainful “fuck you, viewers. You don’t even know who I am.”
My bad, should have read more carefully. control-z beat me to the Disraeli bit.
Good show, man! Good show!
One word: Shipoopi
Peter, talking in his sleep: ooooh Jenny. Jenny! Oh, Richard Jeni, your HBO comedy specials have brought laughter to millions. Right there Jeni, that’s where I like it.
Not so much the line itself, but the way that Lois’s expression changes from anger to relief to shock. I forget what episode that’s from, but it was a cutaway to something about Peter talking in his sleep…