these aren’t from teh onion, but from a rip-off of the onion produced by the students at a high school
‘Local Boy loses virginity to drunken self’
‘NYPD officer accidentally shoots bank teller, mistakenly steals $32,000’
‘Downtown Lincoln to be ravaged by Giant Bear’
‘Carabiners reach denouemoit of psuedo outdoorsman popularity’
‘Conservative parents upset by teen’s decision to become a ninja assassin’
Nations’s farmers hybrid beer-cows’
‘Drano based drink provides refresment’
‘“special” student found to be “retarded”’
‘Controversial new book claims Neizche is dead’
‘My customized conversion van is a grade-A pussy-mobile’
‘Jim Varney to star in “Ernest goes to hell”’
‘Experts agree, smoking is cool’
‘Mall santa has heart attack, 23 onlooking children denounce Christianity’
‘Will Smith- America’s favorite white rapper’
‘Bitter old man dies, no one cares’
‘Young white males “keeps it real” in father’s Range Rover’
"local “dude” “kicks ass” at everything’
Cosmetic amputations gain popularity’
‘The Moon Landing: Should this smut really be taught n our public schools?’
‘Beastie Boy Mike D is seriously injured during fight for party rights’
this paper beats the living shit out of the onion, even though it is only done by highschool students. Too bad the schools are trying to find out who makes them and get them expelled. oh well
chris