Ah, you’re a cold, cold woman. We’re not used to this here- pipes are broken, schools are closed- it’s an emergency, lady! Have some compassion! Oh, wait, today it’s in the 50’s and tomorrow back to the 60’s. Whew!
Burn in helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. 
Yes, that’s June.
God, I DO have to go the bank, too! Screw it, I’m watching Craig Ferguson and eating a pear.
(I’ve already cleaned two bathrooms, done a load of laundry, done the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, fed the varmints, and I have lunch in the oven.)
Now I’m happy to live in Chicago again.
Fucking Idiot Neighbors who can’t cook.
We got rousted from my 200+ unit apartment building tonight for another fire alarm. All because some dumbass burns their food AGAIN. That’s the third time in the two years I’ve lived here.
Argh! It’s started!!! I have pretty well avoided mentions of the dreaded February Hallmark Holiday ™ for weeks! Now, things are creeping into the office and the girls are talking about flowers, etc, etc.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
RUN!!! VALENTINES DAY IS COMING!!!
I HATE THIS (FAKE) HOLIDAY!!!
Our old house was broken into. Fortunately, the cops caught the would-be thieves, but now we have to fill out all the paperwork. And I have to try to prevent my husband from murdering those two lowlifes.
A neighbor saw the two guys in the act, and the police responded quickly. I’m thinking of taking the neighbor a bouquet of flowers and a couple of hundred bucks as a thank you.
Tell him that if he does it now, he’ll be caught and spend the rest of his life in prison. Best to wait a year or two.
(By which time he’ll have cooled down or thought better of it)
Not to mention the people on the “clean-up” crew. He doesn’t describe many of the details of his job to me - mainly because he doesn’t want me to freak out more than I do - but hubby has told me about a long-since night in Korea, when he was an MP, having to walk miles down a railroad track to find body parts. Twenty years later, that haunts him. BTW, I’ve also dealt with major depression/suicidal ideation, but my “ideation” always started with “how to contain the mess.” (ODing in a bathtub would have been my ideal, thanks to the reasonably clean scene and relatively easy cleanup - but that’s neither here nor there.)
Back to mini-rants: If you are checking into a hotel, and the clerk asks “do you prefer a smoking or a non-smoking room?” just answer the damned question. “It doesn’t matter” is not helpful. If I were limited on rooms, I’d say something like “I have non-smoking doubles, but I’ve sold out of smoking doubles. Is that okay?” If I give you a choice, it’s because I have options available. Just answer “I’d prefer non-smoking.” Or “I’d rather have smoking, if you have it.” Not “It doesn’t matter.” (Yeah, it does matter. Even at 2 am at a budget property, I’d rather you check into a room that will make you happiest. Saves me a lot of paperwork in the long run if you are happy with your room and don’t send complaints to corporate. Or if you don’t stink up a non-smoking room when I had smoking rooms available. :smack:)
Dear Brother in Law.
Please stop asking everyone in the family for money.
I know you can’t borrow it because your credit sucks.
I know you can’t earn it because job interviews take place during the day and interfere with your sleep.
No. We won’t send you any cigarettes either.
Yes, we do feel sorry for you.
No, your mom doesn’t want you moving back in with her.
Why the F did you get a dog? You can’t even feed yourself.
I think that pretty well covers it.
managers who say things like this:
“How do you feel about going to Kansas City tonight?”
when they really mean:
“We need you to go to Kansas City right away.”
asking me how I feel about something when how I feel about it has no relevance is irritating. At best.
and I know this is trite enough to the point that ranting about it is trite, but I will anyway:
Snowpocalypse, Snowmageddon, snowverkill… Bitch, it’s winter! It snows like this practically every year!
Better yet, tell him to use a car to kill them - he won’t even get jail time.
My husband’s father is a city bus driver; he was told when he was hired that if he decided to become a light rail train operator, he could expect to kill someone at least once in his career.
Oh, he’s still pissed off that someone broke his car windshield and took his radio a few years back. Waiting a year or so won’t really let him cool down. Especially since he has to deal with various bits of aftermath again, and again, and again.
Two years ago, I visited a doctor (several actually). They sent bills, I paid them. (Before anyone asks, on leaving the various offices, I would ask if I should pay now or later. Most of the offices wanted me to pay later because they had to work through things with my insurance.)
And then yesterday someone left a message on my machine, “Hi amarinth, you owe us $15 from January 2009, we’re sending you to collections.” Why do I owe them $15? Because unlike all of the other people that I owe, they did not send me a bill, so I did not psychically link to their computer, find out that I owed the money, figure out the amount owed, and forward them money. Two years, not a single request for money until this. Utter shit.
Of course, now I have to get this straightened out - so that a company that never billed me won’t ruin my credit.
Uh oh - I do this, because for me it really doesn’t matter! I don’t smoke but my husband does, so when I’m on the road by myself, I can either go in either room, since the smell of smoke doesn’t bother me. I almost always follow it up with “…as long as it’s downstairs” - does that help?
Close the sauna door, you little dipshit.
Yes, OMGLOL it’s hot in here. It’s supposed to be hot in here. And it was, until you stood there with the door wide open with your giggly friends deciding whether or not to come in. Yes, you’re under 18 and the rec center policy is that you’re not allowed. Personally, I don’t care; I’m not going to rat on you as long as you behave. Quit debating amongst yourselves and pay attention to the people in here who told you three times “Get in or get out; shut the goddamn door.” And while you’re at it, stop hogging all the toilet stalls to change your clothes. It should also go without saying that shrieking in the locker room is entirely unnecessary and uncalled for, but there is ample evidence some of you aren’t aware of that. I have a precious amount of hearing left and I’d like to keep it for as long as I can.
God I hate large groups of tweenage girls.
To the self-entitled, whey-faced, hard-headed, neurotic cocker-spaniel-in-a-human-costume I have to share a class with:
OK, snapping at me when I tried to clarify something in the book is one thing. I overstepped my bounds and distracted you from what the instructor was saying. You’re struggling with the material and feeling kind of insecure, so your initial reaction was understandable, albeit a tad over the top, IMHO. But hey, you certainly got your point across.
But after sincerely telling you at least twice that I was very sorry, you kept right on haranguing me while openly insinuating that I’m an arrogant jerkoff. I don’t know what emotionally bereft shithole you came from where it’s OK to talk to people like that, but where I’m from, the only appropriate response to “I apologize; it certainly wasn’t my intention to upset you” is something along the lines of “Accepted. Let’s move on.” Jabbering loudly on and on and fucking ON about my faux pas instantly lost you every bit of goodwill that I ever managed to muster for you. Remember last week how I took all that time to sit with you - at YOUR request - and really drill down into the material so you could wrap your brain around the day’s lesson? Yeah, that’s never going to happen again. You’re on your own, dipshit. And judging from the slantwise looks the rest of the class was cutting you after today’s little tantrum, don’t count on a lot of help from them, either. Enjoy slogging through the rest of the semester!
One of my co-workers had a pattern of being curt and sometimes hostile in our chat room under certain circumstances, like when he didn’t understand how your answer actually resolved his issue, or when I pointed him at a tech article with a title that didn’t immediately scream out “this is for your issue” but really was. I resolved it rather simply, by replying on several occasions;
“Unpleasantness now gets you less help in the future”
And then purposely ignoring any and all questions from HIM, but answering everyone elses questions. When I’m probably the top guy for answering other people’s questions in the chat room.
Took him a while, but he figured it out.
So remember that line. He probably hasn’t made the connection.
New blood is all well and good, but the recent wave of zombie threads dredged up by newbies is starting to piss me off.