Well I’ve just been let “off the hook” for the fourth time now by a guy who has fallen for someone else…a needy woman.
Now, I don’t think I’m being overly judgemental when I call these women needy. They’re probably actually more attractive than me and, depending on what time of my life it was, some more slutty. But I knew of the women before and after being “let go” and even before I was passed over for them, I thought to myself “huh, those chicks are needy.” Two guys even came out and said it - “I love her cuz she needs me.”
Er, ok. Being needed is cool I guess. But these chicks were the type to call 7 times a day crying about their boyfriends, needed to borrow money, needed another ride to the ER, needed the guy to work on their house, needed to be picked up from work, needed to be taught how to use a computer, needed … uh, whatever else needy women need.
Me, I try not to be needy. In fact, I don’t know how. I just bought a house - and I do need help. But I don’t want to seem all needy to guys I am dating so I lean on my friends and family for help. I am usually drama-free. Well…completely drama free. I usually work out any slight emotional turmoil on my own. I’ve got a job (my own business even), a house, a car, hobbies, friends…
I’m the type of girl who doesn’t always call because I don’t want to seem pushy. I will make it clear to a guy how I feel about him - so I don’t think guys sit around and wonder if I’m into him or not. I am super-interested in whomever I’m dating and super caring. I’m always happy to hear from them and make sure I call two or three times a week, or keep up via email. But I just don’t feel the need to interrupt their lives several times daily with mundane bantering.
It’s not like I’m some super-intelligent, super-hot, super-powerful business woman. I’m not one to be intimidated by. I’m extremely approachable and everyone always says how comfortable I make them feel, guys included.
But, some chick comes along who’s suffering from a bad divorce and raising a kid on her own, or some chick comes along who needs help paying her rent, and I’m toast.
In a way, it’s logical. Hell, I like to be needed. But to throw away something good with a really cool, stable woman for something more…costly and time-consuming? What’s the draw?
So guys…do you think you prefer a needy woman? Do older guys (I’m 27) grow out of wanting needy chicks?
And if I need to be, how can I be more needy and not hate myself?
By the way, I’m kind of down right now so please don’t bash me for being crabby for being passed over, or making judgements on other women, or dating the wrong kind of guy. It happens to everyone, my mind is racing, and I want to know if I am missing the big picture.