Females fives - opinions

In My Humble Opinion
1

Should be clear to whom it may concern.

““Be nice to my parents! Impress them!””

Contradiction.

“”“Make interesting conversation. I want to learn more about you.”""

Contradiction.

“”“Ask some questions about my life. Show your interest.”""

Contradiction.

“”“If you kiss me, only give me a light, gentle kiss. If I want more of a kiss, I will show you. No tongue in my mouth unless mine indicates it first.”""

Abuse through the rape clause. You’re female.

“”“Hold the door open for me.”""

Umm… ok shrug

“”""""“1. Be interested in what I’m saying”"""""""

Say something interesting.

“”""""""“2. If I look nice, let me know”"""""""

Why!!?

“”"""“3. Ask about my opinions on things”"""""

Ok.

“”"""“4. Be a gentleman”""""""

Whatever.

“”""“5. Let me know that you are interested.”"""""""

I’m here aren’t I?

“”""""“1. Talk to me, not my chest”"""""

Umm… ok. shrug

“”"""“2. Kiss me goodnight, but don’t grope me”"""""

Abuse through the rape clause.

“”"""“3. Don’t talk to me like I’m an idiot”"""""""

Can you be talked to like an idiot?

“”"""“4. Don’t try to impress me with the amount of money you make.”""""""

Umm… ok. shrug If you’re impressed by the lack of money I make; it is not my fault!

“”""""“5. Don’t talk about your favorite sexual positions on the first date.”""""""

Could potentially conflict with your perception of number three.
A person may observe rule 5, and make you feel dumb about yourself in situations where rule 5 needs to be exersized; by observing rule five and making you uncomfortable in the process.

  1. Ask me questions about myself. Too many guys ignore this very basic courtesy.

You’ll respond in ~ 10^1.37 trillion different ways. Most guys have this stuff memorized.

  1. Tell me interesting things about yourself.

Subjective; abuse clause.

  1. Dance with me. I don’t date guys who refuse to dance.

I don’t dance with females who refuse to date guys who won’t/can’t dance with them on the first date.

“”"""“4) Smile. Let me know you’re having fun.”""""""

Personality evidence; coersion for consent. Contradiction, not implied signals reflecting each other.

“”"""“5) Compliment me!”"""""""

Why!!!??

“”"""""“1) Make eye contact as we talk”"""""""

Umm… ok shrug

“”""""""“2) Stand up when I leave the table (not many men do this, but it impresses the hell out of me when they do)”"""""""

No functionality. Abuse through demanding contradictory personality evidence. Ask first.

“”"""“3) Treat any service-people with respect”"""""""

Umm… ok? shrug

“”""""""“4) Put your hand on the small of my back as we go through a doorway”"""""""""

Abuse through the rape clause. Ask first, you’re the female.

“”""""""“5) If I do something clumsy, act like it was charming”"""""""""

Demanding that your date makes gossip judgements. How is anything clumsy? This is to be expected from all human beings at any moment; probability and all. Not relevant to judgement.

““smile and laugh””

Demanding personality evidence; abuse through the rape clause.

“”"""“ask questions about me and my life”""""""

Umm… ok. shrug You may want to specify the questions.

“”""""“open doors”"""""

Umm…ok. shrug I never expect anyone to do anything for me; if I wanted to enter a building; I would open a door. If you specify that door opening burns a charisma algorythm into you; I will gladly open all doors that are not locked; unless I have the key for a specified door. Point out the ones that specifically amuse you the most.

“”"""“make eye contact”"""""

Umm…ok. shrug Specify. I assume you don’t date the blind.

“”""""“leave a good tip (if we go to dinner)”""""""

Umm…ok. shrug I don’t demand personality evidence to give. The ‘bitchiest’ '‘meanest’ server in the world will still recieve the same tip as the ‘kindest’.

“”""""""“1) Pick me up/meet me on time. It shows you’re interested & considerate.”"""""""""""

Being late does not necessarily co-incide with interest and consideration. I’m sure you know this though.

“”"""""""""""“2) Hold up your end of the conversation. I know first dates can be awkward, but I don’t want to feel as though I’m interrogating you, with you volunteering only the smallest bits of information.”"""""""""

Then don’t feel like you are interrogating someone. If you need to change your behavior to not feel that way; then do so.

“”""""""""“3) If you’re picking me up, be a calm, considerate driver.”"""""""""""""

Umm…ok. shrug

“”""""""""""“4) Tell me that you’re glad to be out with me. You don’t have to gush, just say something like, “I’m glad we were able to get together tonight.””"""""

Implied; the corresponding person can commit suicide at any moment. That they didn’t is consistent proof that they were ‘glad’ to simply be present in general; irrespective of you.
You can consider that they didn’t commit suicide in your presence; evidence that you have not compelled them to forsake existence acutely resultant from you.

“”"""""""“5) Open doors for me.”"""""""""""

Umm…ok. shrug Please point to the ones which amuse you the most.

“”"""“Laugh at my jokes, but sincerely - nobody appreciates pity-laffs!”"""""

Laughing is lack of understanding; coersion to laugh is the implied attempt to build an exclusivity at the expense of others.

“”""“Make interesting conversation. If I don’t like your mind, nothing else will matter.”""

Not contractual, subject to the abuse of personality evidence.

“”"""“Respect boundaries. I once had a fellow perform shiatsu on my hand after I specifically told him I wasn’t interested. This starts at this trivial and continues up to sex itself.”""""""

Umm…ok. shrug No is no. Silence is no unless otherwise specified.

“”""“Open a door for me. I admit to being a feminist, but I like being treated like a lady.”"""""

Again, specify the ones that amuse you the most.

“”""""“Respect me. Remember I like to think I’m a competant, intelligent person. (Actually, this hasn’t been a problem.)”"""""

You are guaranteed respect. Your intelligence is your judgement, not mine. No is no; and silence is always no unless otherwise specified. You being female; this is the only way to avoid the rape clause or the harassment clause; the gossip clause; the personality evidence clause and other abuses; perpetrated by you against your date or your date against you. You do not have have to abide by the same standards, as a rule of thumb. This consent rule is only operative for males; so as to allow the ability for female gossip about males without standardization.

A male who operates by this rule cannot be charged with rape, creepiness or harassment; but will be gossipped about as a ‘dork’. Males who break this rule are subject to more severe penalty of spacial abuse judgements and critisism; state and federal misconduct. However, males are only selected from this pool; so as to provde a format for gossip potentiality.

“”"""“Smile!”"""""

Will be considered upon request. A contract outlining your specified personality evidence for a smile in regards to charisma perception should be discussed; so like the door amusement, the smile amusement will be functionally applied.

“”"""“Don’t complain about how expensive everything is. Particularly if you make a big deal of “treating” the woman to a night out.”"""""

Agreed, don’t contradict yourself.

“”"""""“2. Do have some idea of what we’ll do that evening/day or at least discuss it BEFORE we wander around for an hour saying, “What do you wanna do?” “I don’t know, what do you wanna do?””""""""""

A persons company is not doing something?

“”"""""""“i don’t like a guy who can’t tell when i’m up for some physical contact and when i’m not”"""""""

Abuse through the rape clause; you’re a female.

-Justhink

Many more to address; but the primary ones are summarized here.

2

Are you, ah, replying to something? Where are these quotes coming from?

3

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=136581

Yes grim. Apologies.

-Justhink

4

Wow, Justhink, you sound like a fun date. :rolleyes:

5

You are one scary nutcase, Justhink - I half expect you to take that as a complement.

6

Since asking you to make more sense probably wouldn’t help, would it kill you to at least use the Quote button provided on posts? Or at least not use multiple quote marks to encompass a quotation?

7

Whilst I kind of see your point about some of the statements, I don’t see why the first one you attack need necessarily be a contradiction; if the girl’s parents are impressed by nice behaviour (not beyond imagination), then “Be nice to my parents! Impress them.” is not contradictory at all.

8

This has nothing to do with how much fun I am or am not; this illustrates a larger pattern that I have discussed in other threads.
Namely: Males don’t use these types of standards; there is not some general “they have to do this or be this etc…”

If you show up for a date and haven’t showered in two months; no biggie; there are showers available. If you refuse, and I become nauseated - I may decide to find a solution in the event that I do not find puking to be functional or personally desirable at that point in time. It is possible that my only solution will be maintaining physical distance; if the insistence to not groom is concrete; and I have determined that puking is not desirable; if indeed it seems likely to occur.

The point is: Males are just different than females about all of this stuff. As a female, you can do whatever the hell you want to do, minus 0.000000000001 of the most absurd behaviors. Guys won’t even think twice about mentioning it - they seperate behavior from value; belief from ability and other seemingly common sense stuff. So you believe that Allah is the ONE God; or that all gay people are condemned to hell - how does that effect ability to perform certain behaviors (cough besides being consistent)? It then becomes a matter of violating logic in very simple means to establish female consent and appreciation; aka. agreeing with them by even discussing the topic, without ‘insulting’ them.

For the most part; guys don’t care about this stuff in regards to sexual ability - are you timid, outgoing, outrageous, sweet, dosile, depressed… ? What does it matter? Do you genuinely believe that you can somehow perform a behavior which has not been concieved already; or that specific behaviors are more desirable than others? Get over yourself!

Females complain about guys who will scoop up any old thing that comes along or the first thing that comes their way; but that has nothing to do with a males indefinite commitment to you as a personality structure.

Evidence is only found through TIME. A guy can be happily married for 50 years, totally unsuspecting of a wife who up and murders them one day, yelling “I’ve always dispised you!”

Marriage and sex have nothing to do with the fact that companionship is a function of time; particularly if one considers applying consentuality into the picture.

Females by design seem unable to comprehend this. They select violation of consent for the entire spectrum of behavioral validation. This de-selects males who care about any of this stuff by default.

I just wanted to highlight this by pointing out some of these unanimous qualities offerred in the ‘TOP 5 DOs and DONTs’.

I don’t understand how a female refuses to aknowledge this; or that if they do, they must somehow be put down. How can someone be put down by aknowledging a social pattern that seeks to put an entire gendar down? Guys don’t have these types of things by-in-large – this long prattle of lists and gossips.

What is the female argument for forcing extra-ordinary ‘evidence’ for something that by nature attracts the most abusive individuals to use on them?

-Justhink

9

I’m unclear on the purpose of this thread. Just ranting, or requesting feedback? If the latter, here’s my first reaction on reading your post: What the heck’s the matter with you? (Also, I second what Mangetout said.)

10

Um. If you had read the thread, you would notice that women were pointedly asked to list tips for a first date. It wasn’t anyone trying to push their ideals on you, they were simply trying to help out the original poster.

And I don’t understand your last sentence,

Could we have some elucidation please?

11

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t care if someone didn’t bathe before showing up to a date. To me, that’s a giant “FUCK YOU.”

12

Contradiction!

13

Hard to believe Justhink is still a virgin, isn’t it ladies?

14

Are you saying you understood the rest of the posts?!

I think you’re barking up the wrong tree.

15

It wouldn’t be an eye for an eye situation, as I shower quite regularly and personally wouldn’t arrive for a date not being clean. If she stinks to high heaven; has gunk crusted on her teeth and fungus growing off her ears - how is that a Giant “FU” to me?

Even if she looked reasonably presentable, but it was very clear she didn’t place much energy into her appearence - if something intimate surfaces for whatever reason; things like showers and toothbrushes exist for that. Her lack of preparation doesn’t necessitate that she is attempting to send some sort of message to me or the the idea of dating males in general.

If this is her purpose; then why did she show up? She still has some vested interest in being there. She maybe running a thesis by checking responses to this behavior; or she may be trolling for gossip collateral to exchange for girl-friends or other sexual selected males based on contradiction. I still have no reason to not speak to her like a human being; or to get grumpy or insulted.

Trolling for gossip is the most common female endevour I have noted; how does it speak about my specific worthlessness as a human being if I am engaged in activity with a female doing this.
The odds that this is occurring are very close to “A+”, it’s like getting angry at a cat for coughing up a hairball on the carpet; or getting angry at yourself for having that cat. What if the cat snuck into your house and did it? There’s still no point to get angry. I just don’t see it.

There’s just no point.

-Justhink

16

I think you’re right, chula. And no, I don’t get the rest of the posts, but I thought the last sentence was the point of the whole thing. Silly me.

17

Could you please try speaking to us like human beings?

18

I find this rather bothersome also. How the hell am I supposed to know when a girl wants physical contact? I’m not a mindreader. Usually the only thing to do is make a move, since in our culture its the guy who is expected to make the advances. And making a verbal request can weird many females out.

19

I didn’t say I’d get angry. I’d say it would be like a giant fuck you.

How a person presents themself to me is both a reflection of them and a reflection of what they think of me. It’s not hard to understand.

Your cat analogy, on the other hand, is. I expect a human being to have more control over themselves than an animal. That’s not unreasonable.

20

I did read the thread, and I did comprehend this. That is why I started a new thread with my opinions about the general responses. This is a new OP, in my opinion. I could write “humble”; but I’m not interested in how you percieve me against the articulations presented here; as that very use is already acting as a recursive function to illustrate the point.

It would be a double redundancy; and would only serve an abusive function in relation to consent of the conceptual framework; and would contradict my entire OP.

In response to clarfying that sentence you selected:

I am not oblivious to social standards, traditions etc…

I do not believe they are wise when they demand contradiction for consent.

In the instance of females; I am suggesting that the selection process is screwed. To the degree that “mind reading aka. romance” is forced for consent; both intellectually and emotionally; only those who are corrupt will be drawn to this process and will be observed through this filter. If the filter was eliminated; gossip would collapse.

Males in general do not impose this filter on consent of action; they rather ‘humor’ the female necessity. To the degree that a male humors this; they are placing a vote “YES for consent through contradiction; NO to transparency; NO to personal accountability; NO to logical and behavioral consistency”

The irony, is that females are not required to place this ‘vote’ in regards to males and consent. Males like people’s personalities or not, because that’s what happens over the course of time: this is not necessarily attached to their own behavioral consent.

Males seperate the two; and as such do not feel ‘violated’ as easily. They don’t hold a standard out; which demands the evidence of contradictory behavior in order to exchange affections. Personality wise; males will likely not respect an individual with their time who utters strings upon strings of contradictions and only rewards them when they do the same.

This pattern is likely to emerge in marriage. It’s the males fault for using these contradictions to recieve female attention or affection; and the female is to blame for demanding it.

Both charachters are contradictory to this degree; however, males don’t demand it. Males do not require that a female be contradictory in order to be friends or even in a relationship. They certainly don’t require that females be contradictory to select females sexually.

Females are using the wrong filter to grab up what they’re seeking IMO; and since they have an ‘exclusive product’; this net will effectively round up a group of the most corrupt males into their proximity.

-Justhink