Females fives - opinions

“”"""""""""Sheesh even I know the answer to this one. Most women like compliments, and I like pleasing women. It makes us both feel good.

Why not, justhink?

I fail to see how this can be construed as a lack of free will.""""""""

And you as a male care about this? Would you list this in a top 5 Do’s for females on a first date?

Do you have any other purpose other than 'It makes them happy, and when they’re happy I might get laid" ?

Would any male, I’m going out on a limb here including homosexual males; add this to a top five DO list? Two females already have here; and they are not alone.

How does what you areticulated affect the topic I’m bringing up?

Why do you encourage this behavior amongst females?

-Justhink

All you’re doing is making it that much easier for someone to con them.

Is your other reason “Females like it and when they’re happy they’re not bitching at me.”?

-Justhink

Eleusis, this brings up other issues in regards to consent as well.

A guy in my position; who understands that females have been visually repressed for millenia; will understand that uttering such a statement (if reasonably ‘true’); will make the female happier.

However, what is the cost?

Let’s turn the scenario around so that instead of complimenter her directly; I spout out some moral line:

“I would mention that you look lovely this evening, however, since I understand that women tend to appreciate that as a compliment and men don’t really care; I feel like a bit of a hypocrital suck up to mention it; but there I go. You look great smile

That’s reasonably nice; it’s also deslective. That is how I would I would answer that on the fly if I had to do so, yet do so as ‘democratically’ as possible. It’s still much more deselective then your method; and is not considered an appropriate way to engage females so that they will select you.

If I tightened it up and bit and referred to the acceptance of this compliment as a social pattern of low self-image that females have become adapted to, and somehow wove an implicit subtext of: “I’m just trying to warn you that men use this as a way to trick you, and that you should not seek these types of compliments if you want to find better people and live in a healthier society”

Well, then I’m a raving lunatic; “buy-bye great for the gossip mill though; stupid pompous asshole judging me and my whole sex on the first date, where do these fucking losers come from?”

Males would shrug something like this off; EXCEPT, the third reason why you would “Tell a female she looks pretty because ‘everyone’ knows that females like it and it makes them happy”

The third reason is that males may be practicing their gossip techniques or actually using one to get the message of their chivalry to a female that is her friend; or a potential hook-up unrelated to her. This type of planning is what begins to structure the entire player personality. It’s opportunism at its worst IMO.

My major issue with something like your stance Eleusis, is that it seeks to maintain the corruption for your own benefit without informed consent. Even worse!! Since the idea of females always needing to pay for sex; not being logical, being toys or robots is maintained; they will continue to operate this pattern socially.

This creates the possibility for a potential rapist to validate their action as being rational and logical. “Females can’t have sex without rape anyways, so what’s the difference; they all ask for it anyways, they’re all just whores.”

By this simple decision you made, you have in some very tangible way managed to give someone justification for rape somewhere else in this world.

That is my problem with this type of behavior.

To analyze this a bit further:

“I would mention that you look lovely this evening, however, since I understand that women tend to appreciate that as a compliment and men don’t really care; I feel like a bit of a hypocrital suck up to mention it; but there I go. You look great smile

Something like this; would effectively work as a charisma algorythm on a small set of females. Pushing this pattern too much will lead to deselection.

I wanted to clarify the male stance of this scenario on a first date. I said the male will shrug it off, but may decide to use it as gossip collateral for further female possibilities. The big difference is that males will not suddenly deselect a female for something like this. Males don’t have things like this; especially that act as sexual deselections. Females literally will flip a switch to “off” when one of these lines are crossed (unless severe asshole behavior is used, then it might flip back on); and they will also gossip about it.
Males may gossip about it; but their switch is still “on”. Regardless; if a male has intimacy with a female who dropped something which could be used as gossip collateral; it makes it more valuable for female selection later down the road. The gossip in the context of a date is not generally as effective as the gossip in the context of an intimate date.

This touches upon another vast inconsistency between the sexes. Males don’t select females based on gossip or prior sexual experience, with the same type of on/off switch that females use. Females talking about sex with another male tends to act as a runner for all the others to be with the same male.
Males gossip amongst each-other to practice for the real thing with females, and are not affected decision-wise about their sexual or romantic leanings for one or hundreds of females on their radar for that stuff. Gossip amongst males will seek to affect the behavior of other males when females are present; so as to increase their selection. This generally consists of making other males cynical by ‘ragging’ on the females that like them, or females in general. This cynicism is calculated as deselecting the infected male in terms of the female selection process. While one male will be thinking “this guy is such an ass … he just lies and she loves it blah, blah; but she wants this type of person, but that’s not what he is… blah, blah”" his expression and demeaner will show a ‘downer’; effectively rendering him the submissive male from the female perspective. The most general routines are too much to discuss here; however, on a basic one like this; males are using split personalities to run the counter-intelligence routines - at which point they begin to integrate the depreciating thoughts into their single personality; as it works more consistantly. This is where females will notice change in the male personality over the course of time; for the ‘worse’ as tends to be the perception. The other option; more hideous and sinister IMO is that the male keeps a holier than thou front up for the female and continues to blast on her in the proximity of ‘friends’; as a habitual mechanism of superiority found in the old system. If they have a lot of money; this will generally go unchecked for a life-time. The decisions for males who have been ‘used’ for these counter-intelligence routines are very few; particularly if they have an interest in the female for some reason - as the system has been oriented such that truth will undoubtedly lead to life-long deselection from both the ‘friend’ and the ‘female’ in question. Neither of them will realize the truth of the words until their 60’s. Tampering with the system by running counter-intelligence routines one layer back is more unethical then the guy who really doesn’t understand this stuff; as it still treats the female like an object - and also treats your friend as an object. A person who incidentaly has as much right to affection as you or anyone else. To drive a stake through all of this simulated happiness is also not a pleasant option; as nobody gets what they want except truth, which people seem keenly interested in avoiding.

-Justhink

“I would mention that you look lovely this evening, however, since I understand that women tend to appreciate that as a compliment and men don’t really care; I feel like a bit of a hypocrital suck up to mention it; but there I go. You look great smile

Something like this; would effectively work as a charisma algorythm on a small set of females. Pushing this pattern too much will lead to deselection.

I wanted to clarify the male stance of this scenario on a first date. I said the male will shrug it off, but may decide to use it as gossip collateral for further female possibilities. The big difference is that males will not suddenly deselect a female for something like this. Males don’t have things like this; especially that act as sexual deselections. Females literally will flip a switch to “off” when one of these lines are crossed (unless severe asshole behavior is used, then it might flip back on); and they will also gossip about it.
Males may gossip about it; but their switch is still “on”. Regardless; if a male has intimacy with a female who dropped something which could be used as gossip collateral; it makes it more valuable for female selection later down the road. The gossip in the context of a date is not generally as effective as the gossip in the context of an intimate date.

This touches upon another vast inconsistency between the sexes. Males don’t select females based on gossip or prior sexual experience, with the same type of on/off switch that females use. Females talking about sex with another male tends to act as a runner for all the others to be with the same male.
Males gossip amongst each-other to practice for the real thing with females, and are not affected decision-wise about their sexual or romantic leanings for one or hundreds of females on their radar for that stuff. Gossip amongst males will seek to affect the behavior of other males when females are present; so as to increase their selection. This generally consists of making other males cynical by ‘ragging’ on the females that like them, or females in general. This cynicism is calculated as deselecting the infected male in terms of the female selection process. While one male will be thinking “this guy is such an ass … he just lies and she loves it blah, blah; but she wants this type of person, but that’s not what he is… blah, blah”" his expression and demeaner will show a ‘downer’; effectively rendering him the submissive male from the female perspective. The most general routines are too much to discuss here; however, on a basic one like this; males are using split personalities to run the counter-intelligence routines - at which point they begin to integrate the depreciating thoughts into their single personality; as it works more consistantly. This is where females will notice change in the male personality over the course of time; for the ‘worse’ as tends to be the perception. The other option; more hideous and sinister IMO is that the male keeps a holier than thou front up for the female and continues to blast on her in the proximity of ‘friends’; as a habitual mechanism of superiority found in the old system. If they have a lot of money; this will generally go unchecked for a life-time. The decisions for males who have been ‘used’ for these counter-intelligence routines are very few; particularly if they have an interest in the female for some reason - as the system has been oriented such that truth will undoubtedly lead to life-long deselection from both the ‘friend’ and the ‘female’ in question. Neither of them will realize the truth of the words until their 60’s. Tampering with the system by running counter-intelligence routines one layer back is more unethical then the guy who really doesn’t understand this stuff; as it still treats the female like an object - and also treats your friend as an object. A person who incidentaly has as much right to affection as you or anyone else. To drive a stake through all of this simulated happiness is also not a pleasant option; as nobody gets what they want except truth, which people seem keenly interested in avoiding.

-Justhink

Does Justhink remind anyone else of a sort of half-cross between Serlin and bj0rn? Minus the endquote and the obsession with poofy hair, I mean…

What’s your point?

No, really, what is your point?

Jeepers creepers Justhink! Overanalyse much?

See there’s this whole thing called socialisation (you can spell it with a z if you like) that involves conversation; if you notice something favourable about someone, you have the choice of offering constructive feedback.

Not everything we do or say has to be rooted in self-interest.
Not everything we do or say has to be reasoned out from start to finish.

My wife makes an apple pie, on a whim, she adds a touch of ginger to the filling, I like this and mention that I like it; do I say this because I am trying to manipulate her into doing it again?

Not necessarily (or rather, why must everything be analysed down to a SINGLE causal factor?)

Sure, she made the effort to try something new, it makes sense that, if I’d like this again, I’ll tell her. But that needn’t be the only reason or even the main reason; there might not even be a hard motive at all; we’re functional humans, we communicate, that’s what we do the exchange of trivial bits of information may not be all that logical or purposeful and may defy meaningful analysis at the detail level, but we’re functional humans and part of that involves communication. Not all communication is (or necessarily should be) based on hard reasoning; gentle words don’t cost much, why not be generous with them?

No, but I’d appreciate it nonetheless. It’s not strictly a female thing to appreciate compliments.

On a first date? Well it couldn’t hurt. But yes, the other purpose would be to break the ice and let her know that I’m interested and find her attractive.

I can’t really figure out how to apply this to a first date, but in a relationship, I still pretty regularly tell my GF of 3 years that she’s beautiful, and it’s definitely not just to keep her from “bitching at me”. I consider it a gift of kindness.

If I’m chatting with a nice old lady in the checkout line and I tell her I like her dress, and she smiles, it feels good to have brightened her day and that’s about as selfish as it gets.

This implies I was conning them in the first place. It’s certainly not lying. I can easily find something nice to say about almost any woman’s appearance without lying, and if I couldn’t, I wouldn’t be on the date with her in the first place.

It’s not “reinforcing dependence”, it’s not “corrupt”, and it certainly does not equal rape. How is it tricking her to communicate to her (even through nuance) that I like her and find her attractive?

I’m not going to wade through all of this “charisma algorythm”, “gossip collateral”, and “abuse through the rape clause” with you. Where are you getting this from anyway?

I’m not a Star Trek fan, but this reminds me of Spock trying to understand human mating rituals and telling Kirk it’s illogical. If you are really some kind of an advanced AI experiment, please fess up.

Just Think, dude, I’m not saying this to be mean or cold or anything, but you sound like you might be in the midst of a manic episode. If you are seeing a doctor for a disorder like this, you may want to give him a call. It sounds like you are truly battling some demons and could use some help. Just a friendly observation.

Didn’t Dave Barry (or someone) make a list of dating do’s and don’t 's like this and the Girl’s list was just like that other thread and the Guy’s list was: 1. Show up naked and, 2. Bring beer ?

Do your dates often excuse themselves to go to the bathroom and never come back? I’m just asking.

<hijack>
Interesting, Echo. I had the same thought. I’ve been cleaning out old e-mails and came across some ancient messages from a friend of mine from a time when she was changing meds. Textbook manic episodes that made for some very unusual e-communication.

I found the structure of this thread to be quite similar but thought my opinion was biased from reading those old e-mails.
</hijack>

Anyhoo… it’s difficult to respond to a convoluted OP, but as a female, whose dating another female I can honestly say that neigther of us have “lists” of any kind. For a date to be a successful one in which we’d like to have a second or third date, the only real criteria is that the person must be a decent human being (“decent” meaning “polite, respectful and generally ethical”) and a mutual chemsitry.

Ta-dah. The end. Pretty simple.

Justhink, opinions were asked for, and opinions were given. Contrary to your beliefs, I know of several men who have standards about what is and is not acceptable on a first date. Not surprisingly, my friends’ standards pretty much meet up with mine. They can be summed up as “Behave like a civilized human being.”

A great many of your posts, from what little I’ve been able to make out show that you hold a very low opinion of women. You’ve been downright contemptuous of us at times. In the immortal words of Leslie Fish, “This is not the way to get laid.”

I’ve also noted that people tend to treat others as they have been treated. If I were to treat you as you have treated me, this would be a gratuitous, misspelled insult.

CJ

Wow. My brain is screaming for mercy at this point in the thread. I’m just glad that I don’t seem to be alone in my questioning of the OPer’s sanity, as well as my observation of his possible misogynistic tendencies & affinity for doublespeak.

Time for an aspirin.

And dude, please make an effort to learn colloquial English. It’d make all of our lives somewhat simpler in the event that this thread is continued.

In case anyone hasn’t seen the Pit thread. http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=133497