Finally - a bigger penis.

[Scruff]

Consider the juxtaposition of the username Caught@Work with the statement I find that masturbation will also Expand, Lengthen And Enlarge My Penis…

Where do you work, exactly? And what do you do there? :o

[pohjonen]

*Originally posted by RexDart *
**Two cars in every garage, and a penis on every groin. It’s the American (wet) Dream.

It is one of those cruel twists of fate that we all would be better off with penises, but only 49% of us are lucky enough to get one. If only technology could provide a way to give us all the equal chance to have a penis. I’m not jealous. I’d welcome by new penis-toting brethren with open arms. A world in which there are enough penises for everyone…oh, dare to dream.

Cruel fate, how tempst thou those poor penis-less ones with your offers of penis bounty? How can you dangle that glorious member right beneath their noses yet snatch it away right as they grasp for that glistening rod? “Shafted again!” is their cry, echoing longingly into the dark of night. They brave the night forsaken to cry forth “bring unto me your promised gift, send me the power by which I may coax to fruition my lifelong aspiration, a penis at last, with bulbous head to make the portentious poet forever sheath his pen!! Oh muse, Phallatio, sing to me of penises without end, and bringeth forth in me the passions known henceforth alone to those which grasp the penis in their hands.”

Alas, the penis-giver lays silent, dormant…flaccid. And the penis-less ones are left to dream another day, of the promise yet unkept, and the penis living only in their minds. Take me from this place, oh guide, for I cannot bear to see the pain, ere lovely maidens’ maidenheads do sprout to heads made to den in maidens. **

wiping away tears

[evilhomer]

*Originally posted by Scruff *
**Consider the juxtaposition of the username Caught@Work with the statement I find that masturbation will also Expand, Lengthen And Enlarge My Penis…

Where do you work, exactly? And what do you do there? :o **

I’m not sure I want to know what he’s caught in though. Sounds painful. And from the post you quoted, I think we can make a guess at what ho does there

[Kantalooppi]

And from the post you quoted, I think we can make a guess at what ho does there

Well, that kind of depends on how much he’s willing to pay the ho.

coughs

[Dr.Rieux]

If he could afford to pay a ho, he wouldn’t be doing that.

[AncientHumanoid]

Majorly old joke follows…

[AncientHumanoid]

I was hiking with a friend of mine who is very competative. We come to a bridge over a river and both decide now is a good time to take a whizz.

Friend: “Whew! That water’s cold!”

Me: “Deep, too!”

[AncientHumanoid]

Told ya it was old…

[andygirl]

*Originally posted by RexDart *
**It is one of those cruel twists of fate that we all would be better off with penises, but only 49% of us are lucky enough to get one. If only technology could provide a way to give us all the equal chance to have a penis. **

Silicone, my darling. I don’t need to make any of my three penii longer, I can just buy a new one for twenty bucks.

<rimshot>

[roadrunner70]

See, that’s the problem with spam. They can’t put that “AS SEEN ON TV” tag on 'em, so you can’t tell if it really works or not.

[Human_Bean]

I get the “enlarge your penis” spams and the “enlarge your breasts” spams (as do all the rest of you.) It seems to me that if you take both pills, you could have a promising and lucrative new career as a model on she-male websites. [Um, not that I’ve ever seen any of those, but, er, I’ve heard about them, and not that there’s anything wrong with that.]

Actually, I tried one of those penis-enlarger things once. I didn’t really have any need to, but why not give it a try? It was a cream; the instructions said, “Apply to penis and massage for five minutes to absorb into skin.” And you know what, it worked! I was very impressed; the increase in length and girth was amazing!

Unfortunately, the size increase didn’t seem to last very long. When I tried to contact the vendor for a refund, it seemed that they had moved and not left a forwarding address. I’m disappointed, and the tube is almost empty; maybe I’ll have to try those pills…

[RexDart]

Sounds alot like Steve Martin’s Penis Beauty Cream, Human Bean

[Human_Bean]

*Originally posted by RexDart *
**Sounds alot like Steve Martin’s Penis Beauty Cream, Human Bean **

It’s possible, but not likely; my knowledge of his oeuvre is limited to the public airwaves, and I don’t think that this subject qualifies for that.

Maybe great minds think alike? Or at least a pig can find a truffle occasionally.

[Sam_Stone]

So, if someone had those pills rammed up their ass, would they develop an enlarged prostate?

Or Hemmorhoids?

[mhendo]

*Originally posted by SPOOFE *
**I want a penis. What’re they like? **

Ask the Monty Python crew.

[mnemosyne]

*Originally posted by apotheosis *
**Incorrect nitpicks 'R us. Or, at least, insufficiently inclusive:
cite.
'Nother one.

That’s the way we sang it through many, many years of Scouting.

In the interest of fairness, here’s one with the ‘regimental’ mod installed.

RE the OP: Contact them posing as a government lawyer, warn them of potential fines for their customers’ obstruction of commercial airways unless they add disclaimers warning them not to sleep on their backs. **

Googlefight for “over your shoulder like a [continental/regimental] soldier” shows 103 to 8 for continental.

Just FYI

[SandyHook]

Laugh if you wish but it works. For the past few months I’ve been using these pills along with viagra and I haven’t rolled out of bed once during the night.

[kaylasdad99]

…the plural for penis is, of course, pensare.

Well, it should be.

[ranwashingt]

Being a long time partaker of Porzac, as well as a regular regiment of other so inclined personality contrceptives, I wouldn’t know what the hell to do with an enlarged and raging penis. Its all I can do to brew up some Sleepy Time Tea, and stare out the window!

Rand

[80sHairMetalMaven]

ROTFLMAO:D

IDBB