Um, Senor…at least aim, please.
Was that supposed to be a joke? Cause that’s a reprinted Onion article.
I do not want to be a pedantic jerk about this but it is difficult to resist my basic character.
“Continental Soldier” refers to a member of the national armed forces during the American Revolution–the Continental Line, as opposed to a member of the militia (no, this is not a Second Amendment highjack) or of the State Line. Continental and State Line soldiers were obligated to serve for an extended period while militiamen had short service terms on the order of 30 days per year. On the other hand, the phrase “not worth a Continental” refers to the paper currency issued by the Continental Congress. Since Continental money had no hard backing it was wildly depreciated—like German Marks after WWI.
The song, beloved of Boy Scouts for low these many years in not about low hanging penises but about low handing testacies, thus the refrain:
Can you tie ‘em in a knot,
Can you tie ‘em in a bow,
Can you throw ‘em o’er your shoulder
Like a Continental so’jer,
Do your balls hang low?
While the big dick Spam has a certain base appeal, I have yet to see any Spam that promises big testicles. There is room here for a whole new fetish.
The better song was always the limerick song with the refrain:
Aye, yhie, yhiei-yhie,
Frenchmen never eat Bully-bullybergers.
So sing me another one just like the other one,
And waltz me around by my Willy.
We had a very raunchy Boy Scout troop.
Guys, guys, guys. Don’t waste your time and money on worthless pills and potions. The only tool your tool needs is the common household vacuum cleaner. A few weeks of v.c. therapy and you’re gonna need some brand new jeans.
They’re wonderful, especially if their “owners” know what to do with them.
But don’t worry, if you’re a girl, with what you’ve got between YOUR thighs, you can get as many penises (penii?,lol) as you’d like.
Er, what I’ve heard is that a vacuum cleaner is a great way to make your tool shorter.
Clothahump:
You don’t know how lucky you youngsters are! Why, back in my day, we didn’t have surgery. They sent us a stick! The first time I tried to use it, the damn thing broke in half! My lady got splinters, dadgummit!