…fox is a real hit at dinner parties.
His wittiness is legendary among…
Senegalese chocolate magnates and their hangers-on.
Mondays always make me wanna ________________
eat grilled cheese and chocolate.
I find on Tuesday’s…
…I’m a bit bloated and backed up.
Lactose intolerance is unpleasant, but…
…it’s better than cancer.
The last time ebola…
… affected anybody, it wasn’t pleasant.
Far more pleasant, however, is …
… being just sick enough to stay home from work without guilt, but not too sick to play video games.
Now, if I may digress momentarily. . .
… I’d like to discuss the films of Mel Brooks.
One which I think is particularly noteworthy is …
Not on my playlist, now I am a sad:(
To cheer up I______.
watched the ACTUAL To Be or Not to Be, not the stinkin’ Mel Brooks remake. He needs to stick to original material.
Remakes are. . .
… proof that Hollywood has run out of ideas.
Although the exception to the rule would be …
Casablanca 2: Electric Boogaloo, a remarkable film which I am shocked - shocked! - to say the Academy Awards utterly ignored.
Whenever the Academy Awards ignore me, I just ____________________________
… look at my shelves full of Golden Globes, Emmys, and Tonys, and figure that it’s the Academy’s loss if it ignores me.
In fact, I’m currently working on …
…a diabolical plan for vengence.
Step #1:…
design my outfit for the red carpet.
Sequins and feathers…
and see-through areas when the flash bulbs pop because I always like to show off my…
my large brain and beee-oootiful hair.
When I go to the after party________.
…some guy offers me a fistful of pills.
I gobble them down…
double-dip some tasty Buffalo chicken dip, then turn around only to be confronted by an angry…
… pharmacist, who is not pleased that I dipped the pills he just gave me in Buffalo chicken dip.
Oh well, time to head for the bar, where …