First Porno

Have you ever seen a pornographic movie? Do you remember the name of the first one you saw? How old were you?

I was twelve and babysitting a couple of kids. I put them to bed and threw in an unmarked videotape. That’s when I saw a XXX called Sex World about a Disneyland-type sex resort.

Scarred me for life.


Most common question I ask: “What?”
Most common question I get: “Are you really hearing impaired?”

What a weird coincidence. My husband and I rented our first (and pretty much only) porn video about ten years ago and guess what it was? I thought Sex World was pretty funny, though not exactly erotic, but I was quite a bit older than 12 at the time. What are the odds, though, with all the gazillions of porn movies out there…

I was also 12 or so, babysitting, and it was debbie does dallas…still a classic!

I am actually a big fan of porn…I prefer the old classics like behind the green door.

Funny story…I used to work at a movie store, and whe a man would rent a porno, sometimes I would be able to tell him the the editing was poor, or the music was good etc…I was about 20 years old…you shoulda seen their faces!!!

I don’t remember the first one I saw… I was around 16. I’ve seen lots of pornos, and most of them are the funniest movies in the world. I have a copy of Debbie Does Dallas on tape, it is the best comedy ever. And that one girl, the chubby one with the frizzy hair who looks like a fatter version of the chick who played Ferris Bueller’s sister… what was she all about??


>^,^<
“Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…”
OpalCat’s site: http://opalcat.com
The Teeming Millions Homepage: fathom.org/teemingmillions

Porn. Now here’s a topic I’m familiar with :slight_smile: The first one I ever saw was called “Hypnotic Sensations” when I was a freshman in highschool. Even by porno standards it wasn’t very good.

Another question, how many of you watch porn with your signifigant other? My wife and I have watched several together, but it seems so weird sitting on the couch with her watching other people get it on (I’d much rather be the one getting it on). However, I have absolutely no problem watching one alone, and actually find it quite relaxing.

Oh, this is about the first porno we saw. When I clicked on this, I thought it was going to be about the first one we were in. Uh. Never mind.

There I am…There I am…There I am…

We didn’t have porno movies when I was a teen.

Hell, we didn’t have movies.

We had to light a candle and make shadow puppets on the wall.


I feel sorry for people who don’t drink, because when they get up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.

Does “Lady Chatterly’s Lover” count? It’s at least soft porn. I saw it when I was a teenager at my parent’s home when Showtime had a free trial month. Otherwise, the only porn I have seen is when the Playoby and Spice channels came in on my tv. Alas, now I don’t get any of that anymore.

David B, I’m skeptical about your appearance in pornos.

I don’t know what it was called, but it was a tape my brother’s wife borrowed from my brother to show at my bachelorette party. I remember how awful the acting was, how horrible the music was (bad jazz), and how I was grossed out that these two people were getting in on without having any emotional connection.

Since then I’ve seen a couple here and there, but I don’t find them arousing like men seem to. Books or music, however, can get me in the mood…

Damn it…now I’m sitting here at work in a quiet lab trying to stifle my giggles because I can’t stop picturing shadow puppet porn.

Mmmmmm…pornos…
Don’t remember my first, but my husband and I love to rent and buy these things…Love to watch together…big fun!!
Strangely, we’ve recently agreed that we like the stuff on Skinamax a lot better. Less graphic, more erotic…hmmmmm…


Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
Emo Philips (stolen from matt’s webpage)

I don’t know the name of it, but I was 16 and it was on the large screen at the Ground Round I worked at - yes, the same screen they usually showed cartoons on!

A bartender brought it in and during the break between lunch and dinner put it in. As a virgin, I was like, “Oh my fucking God!!” But surrounded by older peers, I tried to not let on!

Oddly enough, the video was the same I saw in my uncle’s porn collection as well many years later! Don’t recall the name of it however… Like names matter!

Now for a true confession - I wrote for a couple of porn magazines when I was a full-time writer.

It was for Oui and Adult Cinema Review, which were published by the same people who published a metal magazine I was Senior Editor at.

It started when my metal editor was complaining about going out to a shoot in NJ. I asked, only half-jokingly, how much he’d pay me. When it was 3x the amount I’d get for any story in the metal rag, I signed up!

My first story was interviewing Chantilly Lace and Ariana. On the site of Strap On Sally (and several sequels!) at a home in suburban New Jersey! I mean, kids were playing whiffle ball in the yard across the street. (I pictured them going up to the kid, “Hey, could we borrow that?”)

It was quite unnerving walking around surrounded by dozens of unclothed women at work…

I must admit that several years of interviewing bands never adequately prepared me for Ariana’s answer when I asked her what her favorite thing to do was: “My favorite is to get fucked from behind while eating pussy…” Yowza!!

After this, I did porn video reviews for several months and photo captions. I was never a porn connoisseur to begin with, but after 10 videos a month for a year, all orifices looked the same…

Funniest line was as a girl was getting the hot beef injection, she screamed out, “Oh baby! Oh baby! POP MY COOCHIE!”

I had to rewind that one…

By the way, if any of you want to thumb through your old issues, my non de smut was A.C. Spade! Imspired by Motorhead’s “Ace of Spades,” and, hey - You gotta admit the name sounds tre porn, no?


Yer pal,
Satan

Oh, jeez… I had my 8th birthday party at a Ground Round, and now all I can think of is the stale popcorn and porn on that projector… now I’m scarred for life!
:wink:

“I like Florida; everything is in the eighties. The temperatures, the ages, and the IQs.”
– George Carlin

My first porn? Outrageous Anal.

That’s the first porn I WATCHED.


OfficeGirl’s Cubicle Farm

“Argue for your limitations; sure enough, they’re yours.”

Okay, so how many women are digging Satan even more after hearing that story? I know I am…

My first was at the wee age of say 11 or 12 as well. It was a cinematic masterpiece called Dr. Penetration that my… ermm… parents had rented… but I’msureitwasamistakeandtheymeanttogetET

Whew

Anyway, I found it and watched as much of it as I dared and while it didn’t scar me me for life, it didn’t exactly inspire the hunt for sex in me either. Just sort of forbidden and creepy and cheesy all rolled into one.


“I guess it is possible for one person to make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.”

A cinematic masterpiece by the name of Make Me Cum

The second was even better - Someone’s In the Kitchen with Vagina.


Just add water, it makes it’s own sauce!

I saw Caligula in a theatre when it was first released. I must have been around nineteen.

As for a traditional hard-core porno film that would be Insatiable with Marilyn Chambers. I was twenty one and had just started my job. One of my first purchases was a VCR. I was living with a bunch of other guys in an apartment house and we all drove to the video store (At the time there were only three within an hour’s drive in downstate New York. This should tell you how long ago it was.) We rented three videos: Insatiable, Das Boot, and Richard Pryor - Live in Concert.