when I saw the thread name I thought you broke a finger at volleyball. That happened to me once, and believe me, posting 1000 is preferable 
Congrats.
Now get back to work, all of you.
Seriously, though.
Polycarp, Mercutio, could y’all keep the guests entertained for a while?
I’m going to be busy teaching hardygrrl the Viking warrior definition of “hammered”…for at least an hour or more.
She’ll be learning through repetition.
<cough> <wheeze> Damn, that’s good mead, xtal. Where did you you say you got this stuff?
Hey, what happened to the host of the party? He was here a minute ago. Fiver?
Oh well – more fo the rest of us…
::drinks::
While the host is away, the guests will…
Anyone want to show me their Viking weapon?
::strolls out of the bedroom. Legs are bare but still has the heels on::
Our host is…let’s just say he needs a little breather 
Gee…I could go for a glass of mead right now…
::sits down and crosses her legs::
::Emerges from the bedroom. hardygrrl’s thong is hanging from one of the horns on his helm.::
Pant, pant, pant…oh god. I need a drink.
::Crosses to the table, pours a stein of mead. All can see the heelprints in his back.::
Is this a great post party, or what?
Thanks for coming, everyone!
Thanks for coming, Falcon and hardygrrl!
Oh no, thank YOU, Fiver…and if yer up for round 2, let me know…
No…thank YOU Fiver,my strong warrior
And Falcon…You were DEFINATELY right about the “things he likes about himself”…
Fiver-if you have anything left after Falcon,we can always play “Fiver returns from a long voyage and hardygrrl shows him just how much she missed him” if youknowwhatimean.
No problem, hardy…he DID tell the truth there didn’t he?
Good thing we didn’t attack him both at once…might kill him. (But what a way to go…)
Howdy jr8, I’m glad you like it, I made the mead myself. There’s commercial versions if you do a little searching. The commercial stuff won’t be as strong, but if you don’t mind a pale shadow of what mead ought to be…<shrug>
Thank you both, Falcon and Hardygrrl, for taking care of that research for me. I’m far to much a scaredy-cat to go there myself. I hope his wrists are thin, Owich! Did he get dizzy?
:: Wanders back to the kitchen to make more snacks ::
Well…he certainly made ME weak in the knees and breathless
hardygrrl:
Okay…I’ll admit, I never expected this post party to take such a peculiar turn, but I’m nothing if not a good host.
Sooo…ladies, all of you go into the bedroom together (yes, you too, xtal). I’ll follow right after and, taking my cue from hardygrrl’s suggestion, we’ll play “Northumbrian peasant girls and the Viking pillager.” All night long and into the next day.
You men Dopers are welcome to hang out and keep drinking mead. I think I have a Parcheesi set here somewhere; whatever.
If you insist but for safety’s sake I’ll take off the shoes this time
::ambles into bedroom::
Oh and Fiver?
Bring some mead in with you this time so we don’t have to leave the bedroom until we’re good and ready.
::Tiptoes in, being careful not to bang the door. Promptly brushes against a pyramid of shields on which was balanced a flagon. Catches the flagon as it spins and falls but not before it slews mead around. Eyes remaining contents of flagon. Sniffs flagon. Swigs what’s left in flagon, 'cause public speaking always gives her a small case of the nerves.::
Aah. How’s my timing? I see that all the guys with the furs and battle hammers are sleeping peacefully, if noisily, and that Fiver has stepped in again, good host that he is. Good, 'cause I’m here to kill Fiver’s thread with a literary recitation which I hope our host may like, since I was reminded of this by his post in the fantasy/fetish thread. (Consider yourself very lucky that I couldn’t find my copy of the Edda.)
::clears throat, opens battered paperback copy of Eddison’s Mistress of Mistresses, bangs fist on breastplate::
Happy 1,000, and many more.
Congratulations, Fiver!
Scotti
AAAAAH! I’M BLIND! I’VE GONE BLIND FROM DRINKING THIS MEAD!! OH MY GOD!! AAAAAAAAAH!!!…
…oh wait…my helmet’s just slipped down over my eyes. Never mind. Carry on with what you were doing…
::drinks::
I don’t care if I have to bump this thread a hundred times, it’s going to live until evilbeth feeds me grapes.
Humble Servant, thank you for the quote. I have one myself. I borrow it from hashing, but it fits here as well. Don’t get ahead of me:
Head? Who said head?
I’ll take some of that!
And we did.
And then we fucked.
We fucked for hours.
Uprooting trees, plants,
and flowers.
And it was a source
Of Personal pride
And fulfillment.
And then we fucked again.
This time like Vikings,
With horns on our head!
Head? Who said head?
We don’t want women
With good taste,
We want women
Who taste good.
(Hey, it’s my post party.)
C’mere, Falcon, I’m not done with you yet…
Congrats, Fiver!
Oh REALLY? Gonna make me, hon?