And how do you think this makes me feel?
Congrats, Fiver.
Oh Fiver…I can always feed you grapes until evilbeth makes her appearance…
hardygrrl, can’t you see I’m busy? Come over here and help me tie up Falcon (Damn, this girl can wriggle!). Then we’ll see about you feeding me grapes.
If I decide not to tie you up too, that is.
EEEP! struggles
Always DID wonder about getting tied up…you gonna show me? 
Gosh it’s dark in here…
<crash>
Hey! Who cut the power cords off all the lamps?
::hands jr8 a flaming pitch torch::
Sorry to subject you to this, Falcon, but a captive audience is hard to resist.
Fiver, your poetry touches my soul. ::sniff:: It’s stark, yet in communion with nature; it has a manly joie de vivre, but still rhymes mostly. ::shiver::
I further offer, for divertisement while we await evilbeth, this vignette from the master poet Douglas Adams about the strongest of the Nordic gods, “Thor’s Date.”
Sorry. evilbeth is a little … how shall we say … tied up right now.
::pretends to be helping Fiver tie up Falcon. “accidently” ties his hand down,releases Falcon’s hands and together they tie Fiver down::
Falcon…I’ll flip you for who gets the first turn 
Or you take one end-I’ll take the other
Humble Servant, nice quoted text. Come on over here for a closer look at my joie de vivre.
Heh heh, that’s cute, hardygrrl; I…hey, wait a minute, I really can’t move my arms! Falcon, could you loosen that…wait, no, get away from my face with that thing!
::struggling futilely::
Would it matter at all if I reminded you ladies this is MY post party?
We know it is, Fiver…and we want to make sure you have a VERY good time…
flips coin Hey hardy…looks like you get the bottom half to start…wanna work on our ends for a while then switch?
(Oh, and Fiver? Remember that when we’re done, turnabout is fair play. In fact, I encourage it. slow smile)
Works for me Falcon
And Fiver,my pet?
When we get to the “turnaround is fair play” portion of the evening…wanna play “bet you can’t make hardygrrl speechless” ?
*jr8 bumps around the darkened room, flaming torch in hand. The circle of light abruptly reveals a writhing pile of bodies in the corner. It now becomes apparent what has happened to the power cords.
Pausing briefly to make sure Fiver is still able to breathe, jr8 leaves the revelers in darkness again and wanders off towards the kitchen in search of a sandwich…*
*It has now been eight days since my party began. The five gallons of mead have all been consumed, as have the punch and Astroboy14’s kim chi canapes.
I’ve had sex several times with all the women here, as well as two of the men (it’s really dark since we cut the cords off the lamps). I’m getting close to my limit; my lips are chapped, my wrists and ankles are sore, my (::cough cough: is red and raw. I don’t know how much longer we can hold out.
Still there’s no sigh of evilbeth, despite her promise in another thread. The grapes are quickly becoming raisins. Will my long vigil be rewarded? I can only pray to Thor that it shall.
Meanwhile…I suppose if we tore a haunch off of Astroboy14 and cooked it, we might last another few days.
Joie de vivre, huh? Are you really happy to see me, or is that just a lutefisk in your pocket?
::hands jr8 a pickled herring and lutefisk sandwich::
With the herring and lutefisk, we shall not have to harm Astroboy. But wait! We don’t live by fisk alone! We must have another poem (by some guy named Larry Webster) while we wait for evilbeth (and she’d better get here damn soon because this thread is starting to smell a bit fisky).
Okay, okay. I’m here!
I sent a message with my mast…um, Euty–did you get it?
But anyway, now that I’m here (and I brought fresh grapes, by the way), I will have to ask that Fiver be given at least a small break from all the “pillaging” so I can feed him grapes and wish him a happy 1,000 myself!
I got the mast. The sails were a little wrinkled though.
Okay, so I forgot the “er” on the end. It’s finals–sue me!
bows and moves away from Fiver
All yours, evilbeth.
::curtesys deeply to evilbeth::
Have fun…but I’ll warn you he’s a loud one;)
Thank you so much, evilbeth! I always knew you’d come through for me!
And don’t feel at all self-conscious about wearing a toga to a Viking party. I like you this way; a minitoga really shows off those delectable legs of yours.