BBJ )
Plaintiff
vs.
MILLER
Dendant
COMES NOW, BBJ and files this her Petition against
I guess I’d be persona non grata. Last year the Christmas cards I sent were the cards I had received the previous year. I just crossed out my name and the sender’s name and swapped them around. Everyone seemed to think it was hilarious - they all rang me to laughabout it.
Unbelievable cruelty. On both sides of the issue.
I wish people would stop taking bets on what she’ll do or won’t do next until we actually see what she does do.
Flam used bad judgement, and really fucked up. But the cruelty some of you are displaying is obviously meant to cut to the core. Saying she’s “boring” or she shouldn’t be allowed to breed or she doesn’t have a “working brain” are just ad hominem attacks.
Yes, she said some very hurtful things-- I hope she is able to see that and apologize. But in all honesty, the way you people are taunting and belittling her, I don’t think you really want that. It seems you’re enjoying the pile-on too much. SHe could offer a most heart-felt apology, and I don’t think it would matter to some of you. You’ve already damned her to hell and made this whole thing an unforgivable offense, I’m afraid.
And I think many of you are just using this as an opportunity to kick a poster (a person) that you don’t really like (for various reasons), while the gettin’s good.
This whole thing is disgusting.
Happy
shit, ya try to make a joke and hit the bloody ‘tab’ key…
that’s it…I’m outta here
I’m sad.
I frequently hear people on this board trumped how we need to “fight ignorance” and all that. I’d hope that means we fight ignorance, not each other.
I’m still not clear on what Flami did–I haven’t checked the link in the OP. However, assuming that Flami made a mistake, and a severe one at that, that people would want to point out her error, yes, but also help her GET BACK ON TRACK. I hate these pit pile-ons. I hate the mob mentality. I really do. I’d think that a board dedicated to “fighting ignorance,” so to speak, would be more interested in correcting the error and helping the person than kicking them while they’re down.
Have you considered that maybe she feels like crap, and that’s why she hasn’t responded back? Think back to the last time you were confronted with something you didn’t like about yourself–did you apologize right away, or did you blurt out an explanation right away? Maybe she’s thinking of an apology. Maybe she’s crying somewhere, thinking about what she did. I don’t know. I could be totally wrong here. I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
This is the same Flami who wishes SDMBers a happy birthday every month, isn’t it? Has anyone here ever thanked her for that?
I like these boards. I really do. But sometimes, I get really, really, really scared around here, when I see a tolerance-loving, ignorance-fighting group of people give someone a verbal pogrom. I sometimes wonder when they’re coming after me next.
One misconception has cleared up for me over the course of these two threads. Until this morning, I regarded a higher post count (to me, 2500 would be considered high) as a senior member who had some class, dignity, and was generally an example to the newer posters, such as myself, of what was expected courtesy-wise, etiquette-wise, and behavior-wise. This generalization worked pretty well.
Going forward, I will not make this mistake again. Thank you, flam, for reminding me that generalizations have exceptions.
She told me she has heard about it, and she didn’t know what to do. She was waiting until her head clears because she wasn’t feelwing well(as a result of this), but I think a simple apology will help her mounds if she can own up to the fact that what she said wasn’t very nice at all.
I for one would like a detailed explanation of what makes someone a “degenerate” as applied to Tiburon.
I’d like to know how anyone could act this way towards John, a man whose assistance, generosity, kindness, wisdom, intelligence, and humour enriches me and my Community so much.
Or to any friend, for that matter.
I’d like to know how a person could start an entire thread in a public forum on how disappointed they could be in a birthday card.
This whole incident was the height of poor manners and one of the largest faux pas I’ve seen in some time.
And notice I didn’t curse or flame once. Imagine that.
You should have read the linked thread in the OP, then - people tried just that.
All that really comes to mind is: Holy Fuck!
Flamsterette, I’ve always found your presence on the boards a tad annoying. Now I have many many reasons to have a great dislike for you. And I don’t dislike people easily.
Those reasons include, but are not limited to:
- Way out of line IMHO thread.
- Calling a wonderful, caring, intelligent, absolutely stupendous woman a “degenerate.”
- Not bothering to explain what you meant by “degenerate.”
- Not bothering to show face in here at all to at least TRY to talk yourself out of this one, or to even simply apologize.
Thanks for giving me solid reasons now instead of just a gut feeling.
She’s heard about it, she’s thinking about it - next step’s hers. Mmaybe now we can all calm down a bit.
sits next to ResIpsaLoquitor on the bench.
According to her profile, Flam currently averages nearly 8 posts a day. That doesn’t strike me as someone who doesn’t spend a lot of time at the SDMB. I seriously doubt that she has not seen this thread, and is either trying to come up with either (a) desperate and delusional self-defense, or a (b) brilliant apology.
I hope it’s the latter.
And here’s a little hint, Flam: the ones you need to apologize to are John and Tiburon.
Or she could be leaping for Option ©, which is to ignore the whole backlash and hope that it will all go away. In which case, I’ve got a warning for you, Flam: some Dopers here have long memories. And the sheer audacity of what you did guarantees that your name will forever be associated with the most contemptible behavior unless you own up to it, apologize, and hope that those you wronged forgive you.
On preview, I just saw ResIpsaLoquitor’s post, which brings up some good points. Res, you also indicated that you haven’t yet read the original thread that started all this. I’ll admit that when I first opened this Pit thread, I read through the subsquent posts thinking, “Good God, it can’t be that bad, can it?”
Then I opened the link and saw that it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
It was worse.
And that is why this kind of correction is necessary. Especially since Flam was given the chance to admit her error and apologize in the original thread, and blew it.
Well said.
I admit that the thread was probably not the best idea in the first place. What can I say… I wasn’t thinking straight. Not an excuse or explanation, I know… definitely not a good one.
To the person who said that I should understand about movement difficulties because I have CP: CP perhaps affects you differently than MS does… and I only have a mild form of it. (meaning that I limp, and my coordination isn’t that great, but I can certainly get along fairly well) However, I do understand a little about them… just becauise they’re not mine, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t make an effort…
I recognize that I caused people hurt with that thread, and I apologize sincerely for that. Say what you will about my sincerity, but I truly mean this.
F_X
Do you believe it is fair to jump onto someone for not responding? Perhaps she doesn’t sit around her computer all day. I suppose if anybody calls you out we can expect a answer within 30 minutes, right?
Really, I do agree the pitting was fair. But I object to anybody complaning someone is taking too long to respond to anything. It is petty and just flaming for the sake of getting in as many potshots as you can.
She is taking her time so she doesn’t dig herself in any further with anybody.
You know Miller it is a good thing I am not a lawyer or I could come awfully close to being almost insulted.
Though it looks like BottledBlondJeanie there is possibly, maybe close to being insulted, so you might want to “run away, run away” “head for the hills, the lawyers are coming, the lawyers are coming”
[sub]The above post is in jest for those who are currently humor impaired. Notice all of the modifiers (gosh is that the correct term for them there loopholes.[/sub]
I think it’s some kind of deeply ingrained social behavior we’re seeing here. Perhaps someone with more primate social knowledge can even come up with an official term. It feels like being Jane Goodal peeking through the bushes sometimes, reading the board.
I understand that some people think that the behavior here is unwarranted but I have to mention that if you do something stupid on the SDMB you will be called on it.
Had she gone into IMHO and said something like:
*I have a question and I am unclear as to whether or not I should feel upset about it.
I received a card from someone I consider a good friend but this friend left out something I find strange, my friend didn’t sign my name to my card. I knew this card was meant for me but in my experience people should put your name inside the card along with the usual “Love, your friend.”
So what do the Teeming Millions think? What does Ms. Manners have to say on the issue.
I don’t know why but this bothers me for some reason. Your thoughts?*
Had she gone down that alley, no one would have gotten on her ass in the thread in question, nor would a Pit thread had been started. BUT, the moment you open that up for people to interpret who it is, a friend of many here, the moment you open your mouth and insert both feet at 100 miles per hour after stepping on dog shit.
Bad judgement? It went farther than that including the comment to Tibby which was jerk behavior. If you don’t want an opinion, you don’t ask and you don’t name names in the case it could possibly look poorly on the person. It doesn’t look poorly on the person that sent the card at all but if it was such a horrible thing in her mind, why in the fuck did she bring it up to begin with in the manner she did?
A question like the link in the OP would have been better suited to her friends on her blog/journal or whatever. Despite the pile-on, I don’t think anyone is out of line here.
There are not enough douchebags in the world to describe this waste of skin. Wow. What an asshole.
Well said.