When I was little I used to dip my finger into my grandmother’s jar of sweetened condensed milk and lick it. Repeat until can is empty and grandmother flips out when she needed it to cook. And even though I haven’t done this in a long while, mix a teaspoon of mayo into a tin of sardines. Eat bones and all.
Pickle juice, and peppercini juice. Love that peppercini juice, but it kills me. Also, salted limes or lemons.
There apparently is a thing here in NYC now, maybe in other cities, called a pickleback. Shot of whiskey, chased with a shot of pickle juice. To me, this sounds like an excellent recipe for projectile vomiting, but apparently it’s popular.
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
Thinly sliced pickled ginger - the kind that comes with sushi as a palate cleaser. I could eat a whole salad of the stuff; my kids know to bring me theirs instead of throwing it out.
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Seconded. I have often said, only partially in jest, that I eat the sushi as an excuse to have the marinated ginger.
Thirded on the preserved ginger. That’s good stuff.
French fried onions. You know, the kind you top green bean casserole with. Whenever I have to buy it for a recipe, I buy an extra can (or three) to just eat.
Croutons, especially crunchy little garlicky herb ones. If they’re around, I will snack on them the way most people snack on chips.
Allow me to introduce you to:
I think you have a common interest.
(In my experience, marmite somehow manages to taste saltier than salt straight from the shaker. How it does this is a dark and eldritch mystery…not unlike marmite itself.)
I do this.
Wife buys ingredients for her crème fraîche / radish / salmon roe potluck treat. I eat all the salmon roe right out of the skinny jar. Then I go for the radishes, salted and peppered. Then I go to the store.
I’m another who can’t leave a can of olives alone.
I’ll open a can to put a few in a salad or on a pizza, then it’s like “what am I gonna do with a half can of olives?” nom nom nom problem solved.
This is why olives come in the tiniest cans. No one can stop themselves from finishing it off.
Capers. Eat 'em like they’re cocktail olives.
I’ve also been known to take swigs of soy sauce once in a while (the salty kind, not the sweet kind) - but it could be weirder. My SO, she drinks *vinegar *straight.
[QUOTE=panache45]
Definitely peanut butter, right from the jar, again with a knife.
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I’ve been told you’re supposed to spread it on bread. I’ve been told the same thing about Nutella.
I don’t buy it.
I’ll bet you say that to all the Dopers who hate coffee.
For me, Nutella is the only thing I can think of, but I guess it’s not that unusual.
A high school friend of mine liked to sip on white vinegar. (Usually when she was also putting it on french fries.)
Yeah, sweetened condensed milk. And cans of frosting. (this only applies to cans that are already opened and have just a little left in them, I don’t buy cans of SCM or frosting just to eat!)
I’m a little messed up.
I’ll drink the pickle juice out of the jar until it’s gone, but what probably makes me especially weird is that it has to be the sweet pickle juice. I can’t stand the kosher dill stuff. Dill pickle juice is becoming a fad at the bars as a chaser.
I’ll eat ketchup straight. Sometimes I suck it out of the packet at Mickey Ds or I’ll have a burger and fries at home and when they are gone I’ll shoot an extra gob of ketchup on the plate and just mop it up with a finger to suck down.
I’ll eat garlic powder straight. Shake a tablespoon or two into my palm and press my tongue into it until it’s gone. My breath must be wonderful!
See that thing about ketchup above? I’ll do that with ranch dressing too after my carrot sticks or hot wings are gone.
Sometimes when I get a sweet tooth I’ll just eat a couple spoonfuls of sugar or brown sugar. I’m not huge into candies and cookies, so this is often the only sweets in the house.
I’m sure there’s more, I eat like a giant 12 year old, but those are the ones I make sure to do when no ones looking.
I would be quite content to live on what most other people consider condiments, garnishes or toppings: sauerkraut, vegetarian bacon bits, olives, baby corn, capers, pickled mushrooms, anchovies, pickles, pickled anything, pepperoncini, jalapenos, hearts of palm and on and on… And I will drink pickle and olive juice and the water out of a can of tuna. Also, last weekend I invented a wasabi martini. Everyone was disgusted. I found it to be delicious.
raw, cooked, sweetened?
try a large spoonful or two dry.
I kind of wish I had had an intervention.
I used to sneak salt out of the shaker as a kid and steal bouillon cubes from the pantry. I’d never heard of marmite then or I would have eaten it straight out of the jar. I adore all things pickled and brined. Alas, since developing hypertension I can no longer indulge in my halophilic tendencies. 
I still have a refrigerator full of condiments though. Just have to eat them with real food now.
When I’m cooking with vinegar, I’ll often down a capful of the stuff straight. Especially if it’s balsamic.
I’ll also chow down on a fresh, whole clove of garlic.
Chocolate chips, from the bag.
Peanut butter, from the jar.
Jalapenos, like grapes.
Where shall I start?
[ul]
[li]Cherry tomatoes[/li][li]Avocados[/li][li]Macadamia nut oil and coconut oil by the spoonful.[/li][li]Seaweed[/li][li]Raw lectuce by the head.[/li][li]Fish oil capsules (I bite into them in my mouth)[/li][/ul]
And crazily enough, I’m not at all overweight