Ah…
As my long time fans will recall, I regaled you here, was succesful in getting my son’s teacher to go out with me.
Sorta.
When I asked her out on Thurs. P.M., I said
Me “Would you like to do something this weekend?”
Her “Sure! I’m babysitting Sat. A.M. but I’m free afterwards”{gives me her number}
Fri. P.M., I call, leave a message “Hi Nikki, here’s my number, give me a call and we’ll set up something, see you”
No call back.
Sat. 2:30 same message figuring she didn’t get it etc.
No call back.
I wait til’ 8:30, call and her roommate answers the phone:
{very snippy} “hello?”
“Hi, Is Nikki there?”
“No. She’s out.{pause}Who’s calling?”
“this is Mike”
“Did you leave a message?”
“yes”
" well, She’ll call you"
click
“hello?”
hmmm… Now I’m normally a forgiving sort of person, I know that people are busy, have lives, etc… But I also have had the cold and abrupt blowoff twice in the last year and I am getting pretty familiar with it:(
I’m feeling a mixture of pathetic(stayed home all day in case she called), angry(If she was home, couldn’t she have spent two minutes to call back?), and depressed(oh well, another blowoff,break out the Jäger)
I hate playing by “The Rules” i.e. don’t call x days after, don’t reply for x, don’t accept dates x beforehand etc. If i like someone, I’ll usually just tell them, and not pussyfoot around.
I hope I’m over reacting but…
Ah, don’t worry, at least I don’t think you’re overreacting. I’d probably feel the same way, but then I’m a bit paranoid sometimes…best of luck with your son’s teacher…
Give it another chance and see if she has a good explanation for not returning your calls. Since you hadn’t made specific plans, it’s only a semi-blow-off. Maybe something came up, and she’ll want to do something tomorrow. After all, it was the room-mate who was overtly rude to you, not her. If she doesn’t call you back, I’d write her off.
I had a similar thing happen a while back. Met a guy through friends when we were all out drinking one day after work. He was perfectly content to try and play grab-ass when he’d had a few. Two of my girlfriends had worked with him, said he was a nice guy, we’d probably have a good time, etc. So I called him, had a pleasant enough talk, and asked if he wanted to go out to dinner. He said yes, but our schedules didn’t mesh over the next few days, and I was going out of town the following weekend. So we agreed we should talk when I got back. I called him to follow up, and left a message. He never returned my call. His loss.
My two cents–move on and don’t dwell on it, Mike. If something came up and she cares at all, she’ll get ahold of you. If it’s a blowoff, she won’t. And if she’s playing games, life’s too short to put up with that shit.
Well, if she has a roomate there are all kinds of reasons this might have happened. And the roomate sounds like a bit of a bitch, so its probably even more likely. Maybe the roomate deleted the message from the machine and didn’t give it to Nikki, or maybe she transfered it to a written note and it got misplaced. Maybe they aren’t getting along very well and Nikki has been avoiding the apartment, which could explain the rudeness towards one of her massages. Basically its too soon to start feeling blown off or something. Granted she owes you an apology for not coming through on the date, and she should have made an effort to get a hold of you at least, but I don’t think you should make any judgements on the situation.
Let it slide for now, give her a day or two to contact you, and if she doesn’t just talk to her next time you see her at school and I’m sure you’ll be able to know for sure if she has changed her mind or not. Your mind is certainly constructing all these scenarios and fears of what she’s doing, and what games she’s playing. This doesn’t sound like any game, its probably just life getting in the way. One hopes she is more mature than you’re giving her credit for.
I’ve got to agree with Omniscent here, Mike - it seems that the problem is with the roommate, not with the teacher. Roommate might be mad at her last boyfriend and taking it out on you. One of the two may have an ex who is harassing them over the phone. Or, maybe Roommate thinks that the teacher is a hottie, too, and wants her for herself. The only thing that you know for sure is that the lines of communication have been temporarily interrupted.
You don’t have enough data yet to make a decision - and the ball is still in play, on her side of the court. Relax - be patient - have a cold one - and don’t let your own self-doubts goad you into doing something stupid (like giving up too soon).
Have a little self-confidence, man! Remember these words?
It sounds like you’re halfway there already, and you’ve done everything you can up to this point - except screw up. Give it some time, and if she doesn’t get in touch with you by next Friday, go ahead and call her up to see if she’s free. If that doesn’t work, find a school-related reason to talk to her (maybe, “I’m worried about my son’s vision - does he seem to be seeing things OK in class?”) and see how she responds. You should be able to tell at that point if she seems to have changed her mind. I wouldn’t even consider scrubbing the mission before that point.
We’re all still rooting for you, Mike - go forth and do nothing stupid!
FTR, I have not posted a single (serious)item to an election realted thread- I think Kodos would be preferable to the choices proffered:)
Just so you girls don’t think it’s a strictly female thing(as stereotyped of course), I’m going to drown my sorrows in food:eek:
mmmm…Chinese BBQ, May Wah here I come!
I had a couple Guinness at Gunther’s last night and I realize I don’t miss alcohol nearly as much as I miss the socialization associated with going out.
No calls yet- I’m going out now and I will try hard not to check for messages.
Mike, babydoll, I hate to give another, less optimistic opinion, but I know if I want to call someone, I’ll call them. Sitting around thinking “Maybe she didn’t get the three messages. Maybe her roommate has her tied up in a closet. Maybe she was running for the phone, tripped, fell, broke her leg and is in intensive care right now, crying out my phone number.” doesn’t help, sweetie. If she calls, great. I wouldn’t expect it, though.
And I’m mad at you, buddy! I’ve torn this place apart looking for my chinese delivery menu! Gah!
Talk about timing! I went offline to jump in the shower and go get some Chinese food when who calls?
She apologized for the delay-busy weekend and all that but she changed her mind.
She brought up the “dad” defense- I haven’t figured out your prize yet Kimkatt.
She did say she was flattered though. ah well… I guess you’ll never know unless you try huh?
back to sqaure one…
:wanders over to dropzones’ dating thread…:
These are the same women who will sit down one day soon and lament “Where are all the nice guys?” conveniently forgetting that the nice guys get pushed aside at the tiniest excuse.
I wouldn’t call that the tiniest excuse. I think it would have been unprofessional of her to go out with you. Maybe next year things will be different, but if she’s currently your son’s teacher, dating her would definitely interfere with her job.
Well, the ego has come away mostly unscathed. Thats a plus. I personally think her rationale sucks, but I don’t doubt that she believes it the right thing. Tough break, but who knows. Maybe a year down the road she’ll be up for it and still single, just be sure to restate your intersest at that graduation ceremony. Better yet, maybe she’ll rethink her decision in a bout of loneliness or horniness (here’s hoping for the latter ;)) and give you a call. I assume you were gracious and expressed the desire to see her if anything should change her mind.
All in all, it sounds like a good experience and could be the type of positive feedback to get you back on the horse. I know personally that all it takes is one date and then it seems that you have 3-4 options all of a sudden, but the dry spells seem tough to break. We must give off some “I’m dating, I’m virile, I’m a stud” phermone or something when we are getting some attention from the other sex. Don’t get down, maybe her roomate would like to go out sometime, you should give it a shot :o.
Sounds like someone got in her head and told her dating a student’s father was a bad idea. Hopefully you can keep things on the same friendly level as before to see how things pan out at the end of the school year (if you’re even still interested/available then.
But in the end, it wasn’t a strike out…you got up to bat, took a swing and hit a ball that was just barely foul. Now, just relax, keep your shoulder high, loosen your grip and go find another pitch to take a swing at.
MikeG, she’s only one woman. I have to go through around 30 women before I find one that I like & who can carry a conversation. Im on around number 18 now & have a handful of women I met before that I can call & chat with but they won’t call me…
Maybe something came up, and she’ll want to do something tomorrow. After all, it was the room-mate who was overtly rude to you, not her. If she doesn’t call you back, I’d write her off.