For The Big-boned (okay Fat) Do You Handle The Jokers?

I’ve been “large” (though short) all my life. From always being picked last for physical games
(“No, you take Gott!”), to enduring nicknames like “punkin’” in high school to being rejected for jobs (though nobody would admit that was even a reason, much less the reason) to being rejected for dates by girls with lame excuses like “I have to wash my hair” or “I can’t miss my meeting of Jobies,” I’ve had to find ways to deal with other people’s reaction to my obesity that don’t involve guns or any kind of revenge. I generally resort to humor. At 59 I’m still relatively sane (I suppose the active word is “relatively”), so I guess it’s worked.

A little of said “humor” follows :

Lament of a Thick Man
by Larry Gott

It’s always been a losing fight
For me to curb my appetite,
My pot (the legal kind) is there to tell.

My kindly friends, in charity,
Ignore my globularity,
But I find it distressing when I swell.

Rare is the haberdashery
Whose duds fit my periphery,
What clothes look good on me is hard to say.

If I don’t diet, it’s a cinch
My shoes will even start to pinch.
Those extra pounds are always in the weigh.

I’ve heard it said, “The flesh is weak.”
I guess that’s so, but when I seek
To trim, the spirit’s willing, you can bet.

Perhaps someday I’ll lose it all,
Go out and have myself a ball,
And weigh a hundred fifty – soaking wet!

Okay, other large people, now please share some of YOUR stuff on the subject.

A friend’s stepbrother weighs 400 pounds. He says he tells people, “It takes a sledgehammer to drive a spike!”

I usually just tell people, “Fuck you.”

Or you could take a hint from Winston and say, “Yes, I am fat. And you are ugly. But I can lose weight and be thin. You’ll always be ugly.”

Having skin a hundred times thicker than my waist is very useful. And context matters a great deal. I know that the public thinks that fatness is funny and I don’t waste energy getting angry at people who laugh.
But there are jokes, there are mean-spirited and nasty comments disguised as jokes and then there are just nasty comments. I laugh at the jokes if they are funny and I will call nasty people out without hesitation.

I never had a problem with men. If a guy didn’t like me, he just didn’t like me. It didn’t really matter what his reason for not liking me was, rejection happens to everyone.

That being said, I never lacked for dates, even in high school. I met my future husband in college, fell in love, got married. Honestly, I don’t think my fatness was anymore detrimental to me than my best friend’s thick accent or another good friend’s hairy ears was to them.

I get jobs whenever I want. I’m good at what I do, and employers seem to appreciate that. If a few of my prospective employers were turned off by my weight, well, fuck 'em. They missed out.

Clothes though are a real bitch.

I usually make the jokes first. That forces people who like me to defend me and fuck the people who don’t like me, anyway.

Well, I wasn’t overweight as an adolescent so I never had to deal with teasing. I wonder sometimes if some punk is going to decide to call me a fatass, though, now that I’m heavier.

I guess I’d just say something like, “Wow, a weight quip! Original! Did you stay up night working on that, or does someone write your material?”

Disdain is a wonderful tool.

Exactly,Dropzone, I’ve been doing that all my life, and I’ve honed that skill until it’s razor sharp. Nobody can take a harder shot at me than me. :slight_smile: A very useful skill- disarms people, because their lameass “you’re fat” comment falls like a lead balloon.

I have a couple of teeny fitness nuts at my office who have occasinally made comments about my size, with reference to “kicking my fat ass”. I reminded them that all I have to do is sit down on them for ten minutes, and they are irretreivably dead. After this sank in,“how do you like your suffocation? Facedown,or faceup?” always shuts them up. Remember, a 350 lb man, only by virtue of the weight he must daily carry, is usually a lot stronger than he might seem.

I’ve never had much trouble, because I’m fairly tall, and I’ve always had a decent amount of muscle on my chest and shoulders. I think there’s a little bit of intimidation going on there, and while I can’t say that’s a good thing, if it keeps the assholes quiet, then I don’t mind so much.

I would probably react in some way similar to Cranky or Billy if it was someone that I didn’t have to get along with. Otherwise, I would chastise them and ask them to please refrain from such comments in the future.

I’ve never had anyone comment on my weight other than a pissed off student who clipped himself short before he actually said it. I said something to the effect of, “Look here, little boy!” And he replied with, “If I’m a little boy, you’re a great big…”

He got suspended for a week for disrespect and misbehaving during detention.

I’ve never had single other person ever say anything. I think it’s because I surround myself with respectful and decent human beings, and I carry myself in such a manner that exudes a no bullshit mentality. Or at least that’s what my friends say.


I try not to make weight quips about anyone, although I must admit that on some people it’s rather unpleasant (no offense… seriously) to see. I am tall, skinny as a rail, and have plenty of other features for people to insult, so I refrain from looking for a battle of wits.