Sorry for the vagueness of the thread title, I didn’t know what’s kosher to use in terminology up there.
So I’ve been living with my boyfriend since February, more or less. The other day, I went to the bathroom as soon as I got home from work, and his clothes were on the floor from showering with…something inside. I could semi-see it, so I reached in and found a pink plastic cylinder with a hand pump tucked inside. I had no idea what it was, and I asked a friend of mine the next day.
My boyfriend apparently owns a penis pump. I didn’t say anything to him at the time, because it was kind of hidden and later when he realized it was there he immediately put it in his closet. I didn’t want to embarrass him. I don’t care that he has it; my biggest thing is that I don’t understand!
I tried Googling and came up with a lot of useless stuff. Why would a 27 year old guy need a penis pump? He doesn’t have any problems getting an erection and performing with me, and he’s definitely adequately sized. Anyone want to shed some insight on this before I awkwardly ask him what I found the other day?
Because it feels good to some men. They use it as a masturbation tool. The “enlargement” thing is mostly, as far as I can tell, a nudge-nudge wink-wink marketing thing, the way women’s vibrators are sometimes sold as “neck massagers”.
As long as he doesn’t set the suction too high and he’s using it moderately, I don’t know of any health risks from a penis pump. Used to excess, it may cause small capillaries to rupture, causing some bruising, but that goes away. And of course any masturbatory tool used to excess can make some people find it difficult to get off without it, but that doesn’t seem like a worry here.
ETA: Also, “definitely adequately sized” may not mean anything. How many perfectly well endowed women do you know who wear push up bras, or thin women who want to lose another 10 pounds? So he may indeed be trying to enlarge his penis (it won’t work, though.) Most people have insecurities about parts of their bodies that other people find perfectly adequate!
They’re intended to increase penis size, and we guys always want to be larger, but why the hell he would have it in his pocket AND believe that they work, I haven’t a clue.
Well, he landed you. Maybe he’s keeping it as a testimonial?
“Dear Doc Johnson, I never thought I’d be writing to you but your product really works. You oughtta See the babe I’m living with…!”
Er…if she never suggests it, he never gets to make the choice! Why wouldn’t she at least bring it up so he knows he doesn’t have to hide it. That doesn’t take away his private time.
You make it sound like it’s an either-or proposition. Either he plays with it with her all the time or he plays with it by himself all the time. Why can’t he do both? It may add some spice to their sex life.
I was going to suggest, if it came up, that she bring a toy of *hers *to bed. As you suggest, his toy, his move. It could be rather embarrassing if she brought his toy, which he’s obviously trying (with only partial success) to be discrete and private about, to bed. But if she brought her *own *vibrator to bed with a suggestive giggle and eyebrow wiggle, they may eventually reach a point where *he *wants to bring his toy to bed.
Assuming, of course, that the OP is GGGabout this. If it makes her uncomfortable, then she should just let sleeping penis pumps lie.
OK, that’s definitely a YMMV thing. I was basing my answer on what I remembered of this thread and my agreement that maybe people want their masturbatory tools to remain a solo thing.
I was also wondering if this is the boyfriend that Megroll had posted about before, who hasn’t necessarily been open to discussions about things which cause him insecurity.
And I wasn’t thinking of it as an either-or thing at all. He of course can do both, but I feel like he had the chance to bring it up when he knew that she must have seen it in the bathroom and he didn’t take that chance. WhyNot’s idea is a good compromise to this.
