Those of us breaking the format of this thread humbly beg forgiveness:
Thank God Its Monday!
No, really. People, I’ve just sprinted through the week from Hell, and my only respite is work on Monday, along with the normal Monday meeting.
It started last week with the trip to VA for my uncle’s funeral. Sure, everyone in the office thinks I’m just hosing two days off during busy-season, but he really did die, people. I shouldn’t have to wheel in his cold-dead corpse to show the Principal. I had to deal with my family…you want to deal with my family? Hell, I’d have switched in a heartbeat.
Then there are the ‘free passes’ to Medieval Times. The ones that we couldn’t use on Thurs, Fri, Sat, or Sun, so that sat in a drawer forever. My wife discovers the expiration date is month end…so we book it for Wednesday, which was pretty much my only day of work last week. So, I ran around like crazy person all day, completing and following up on projects, before heading out to the Knights & Horses dinner show. Since we were ‘freebies’ they seated us in the ‘evil and despicable Green Knight’s section’. (C’mon, like this guy was never nice to his mother? Its not easy, being Green.) And all show long, these knights/studs were scoping the audience for the prettiest single girls in their section to throw roses to/ get phone numbers from. Thankfully, the green knight realized that those short people next to my wife were her kids and not her Dwarven Defenders from Minas Tirith. But on the Brightside, at least there was a cash bar.
Thursday was Thanksgiving. The salsa went well, politics were avoided, and all in all the brothers-in-law were well behaved (keep reading for why later).
Friday, my wife inflicts shopping on herself and her Mom. I had expected her to take youngest with her & leave the oldest son (to help me with yard work) but that got reversed, and I spent all day trying to keep a toddler happy. Its not that easy and now I know why daycare costs so much. But with much orange juice, peanut butter sandwiches and Fireman Sam tapes, he was manageable if Grumpy.
Saturday, my wife had gotten us tickets to see the Radio City Christmas Show and off we went to Manhattan. It was a nice show, very PG, and I’m a little ashamed of myself for noticing how pretty the Rockettes were. Still, I resisted temptation and Did Not buy a souvenir martini-glass with Rockette Legs. It looked Way To Much like Darren McGavin’s ‘Leg-Lamp’ from a Christmas story, and I knew I’d have a hard time explaining clapping too hard for that one girl with short blonde hair in the chorus as it was. But, the show ended and we walked around Rockefeller Plaza and found, sadly, The Nintendo store. And my oldest promptly went 'Wii Wii Wii" all the way home. No, they didn’t have them. But Toys R Us Manhattan supposedly has stacks, they say, so we’re off to find a cab.
Toys R Us Manhattan: “Nah, we were out of those by noon. Don’t know why they told you that.” So its off to find a cab to the PATH, which they were nice enough to say, would be easiest/best accomplished at 7th and 42nd. And this is where I tried to hail a cab from. Now, I never have I ever said that I have hailed cabs much or that I had ‘the knack’. All I do know is that if I stand out from the curb (or past the truck-bomb cement cylinders in this case) and put out my arm, sometimes a cab will stop. So I did this. I didn’t know there was anyone walking up behind me…and I ended up throwing out my hand into the shoulder of someone who looked remarkably like Arnold Vosloo of ‘The Mummy’ and ‘The Mummy Returns’. At least it would have looked like him if Arnold Vosloo was 6’6 and 300 lbs of pure angry muscle. He shot me a dirty look and I apologized as I threw out my hailing arm once again. For the record, How was I to know his girlfriend was 4 steps behind him??? (She’s much shorter too). :smack:
Yes, I pretty much back-handed her in the face. She screamed a little and bent forward, but kept walking (Under the Mummy’s control?). I’m sure she must have been pretty, but with her hands up over her face like that I really couldn’t tell. Arnold Vosloo’s evil twin was giving me Death Daggers now and it looked an awful lot like he was pulling a Glock out from behind him under his jacket. He stopped though…perhaps it was my heartfelt apology and the fact that it was obviously an accident. Perhaps it was Christmas music. Perhaps it was my wife looking scared and holding the hands on my two kids. Perhaps it was the large crowd that day. Or perhaps it was the 5 cops on horseback trying hard not to laugh. In retrospect, I think I better donate to the PBA generously this year.
Sunday…the Lords day…the day to rest, right? Not for a sinner like me. Hitting a poor woman while trying to hail a cab…even by accident…there’s a price that must be paid. My price, it seems, was having my wife tell me “Oh yeah, by the way, we have tickets to the Jets game today. I forgot to tell you. And my brothers…they’re going with us.” Eight hours of Budweiser induced hatred & bigotry, the likes of which would make Kramer and Mad Max blush. And I can’t even argue with them, as I’m not at all a Jets Fan, and these guys would be more than happy to out me as such to the crazed green-faced Budweiser-powered crowd.
I should have taken my shooting in Manhattan like a man.
Curse You, Imhotep!!!
And I’m willing to forgive you everything except the outdoors stuff, 'cause it’s 
(-15 for you IIRC)