One of my very close friends is getting married soon. However, i have never seen him for quite a bit of time. I know one of our close friends is also a groomsman and we 3 were pretty close back then. However, we all dont really talk to each other that much anymore due to life.
Can someone tell me what i have to do as a groomsman? This is the first time im going to a wedding where im one of the people who are thus involved as groomsman i know is involved. I had went to few weddings before but i was just a regular guest and that was when i was younger and thus i didn’t have any obligations.
What kind of gift am i suppose to get him? Is it common for groomsman to chip in all to buy one big gift as oppose to each person getting him their own gift? Because i do not know whats a good gift to buy.
Also, does a groomsman have to give a speech?
Let the Best Man take you through the steps, but in general: you still get the couple a wedding present. You will also likely get some trinket from the groom for your service as his groomsman. Check the registry for ideas as to presents. Groomsmen do not give speeches. Only the Best Man does that, and the smart ones make them short, sweet, and then shut up.
Yup. Your main job is to stay sober and look decorative. Also make sure the bridesmaids have a good time (within the constraint of staying sober and looking decorative). You get the couple a present exactly as you would if you were a plain ol’ invited guest. You will not be asked to make a speech.
Was under the impression you get your pick of bridesmaids after the best man and in the order of groomsmen you are in. Semi joking but a good wedding is a good wedding ahhh the memories…
First post figured id make it a funny 
Listen to this advice. The best thing you can do is stay relatively sober, retain your wits, not make an ass of yourself, and be available to help in any way if asked.
The time to fight with your significant other or confront the guy you’re had a beef with for 5 years is NOT that night.
Unfortunately a great many groomsmen cannot seem to follow this simple procedure.
No, you are NOT decorative. Your job is to be chivalrous and of use. Helping ladies with coats, umbrellas and parcels, breaking up spats between children, steering drunks away from trouble, offering a smile and kind word wherever such would be helpful.
“What do you need? How can I help?” Should be your motto! There is a lots of carrying of things and fussing that goes into pulling off a wedding, step up. Elderly Aunties sometimes need assistance and Grannies like being fussed over by handsome young men in formal wear.
Use your powers for good and not evil and you’ll be fine, Good Luck!
Basically, try to take care of stuff, to whatever extent you can, so that the bride and groom can relax and enjoy the day.
Excellent advice all round here. Your job is to make it a good and painless day for the couple. An elderly relative in a wheelchair needs a hand? That’s your job. Creepy drunk uncle is making a tit of himself with a bridesmaid - step in and give her an out - this may involve dancing. The little flower girls are bored and a little over-excited at the same time - that’s your job too. This last may involve playing frisbee in a kilt, not so easy as it turns out.
Always wear swimming trunks underneath:)
You do whatever the bride (or some designated person) tells you to do. That, and keep the groom out of trouble.
You should be well groomed and in the proper attire. So, have a 3 day old haircut and be cleanly shaven unless you’ve got a full beard or mustache. FORGET the scruffy 5 day unshaven look. You’re probably not an undercover vice cop living in a sailboat in Miami.
Most groomsmen who rent tuxes for a wedding also rent or buy a pair of dressy shoes to go with the tux. And it’s the last thing they get and by the time they get to the shoes they’re pretty tired of the all fitting the tux thing and get the first thing they’re shown. This isn’t a wonderful idea. Weddings involve a lot of standing before, during, and after the ceremony. And you might be planning on dancing at the reception. Your feet can swell. So, take the time to get some comfortable shoes. Allow room for a Dr Sholl’s pad that you can remove if your feet do swell up (You’d want to excuse yourself if you need to do that).
Be nice to the old ladies. They might have an attractive available daughter, niece, or granddaughter to whom they might want to mention a nice polite young man. As for the bridesmaids, you said you haven’t seen your friend for a couple of years. The bms may very well know the other groomsmen, so don’t get your hopes up or at least try to ask around first.
Oh, one summer I attended a get together in a hotel in Denver with a group of online friends. It was an annual thing for us to do over a 3 day weekend. The hotel people asked us to keep our activities quiet as there was a huge wedding and reception that weekend. We did our part but the local SWAT team didn’t get the memo and made an appearance, complete with MP-5s, pump 12-gauges, and body armor. Apparently, it’s bad wedding etiquette for the groom to pistol whip his new brother in law after the ceremony. I think it’s better if everyone in the bridal party is unarmed. But that’s just me.
Keep a pair of boxers in your sporran is my advice., or just wear them from the start. A chafed bellend is not a happy bellend.
I believe the groomsmen are also responsible for the bachelor party. While I’m not going to comment on the wisdom of strippers for a bachelor party, I would encourage you to make sure the bachelor party is NOT the night before the wedding. Ever seen The Hangover? Make sure there’s at least a week between the bachelor party and the wedding to allow for recovery time and so as not to have a puking, sick, hungover groom at his own wedding.
Also, kilt plus flower girls plus running/jumping/dancing *minus *boxers equals, at the least, an educational experience the girls’ parents won’t thank you for.
Oh, here’s an example of why you might want to avoid making an impromptu, off the cuff, wedding toast.
At some weddings the groomsmen are also the ushers. If so, whoever is in charge will give instructions.
Note that there is no requirement that the bachelor party be a bacchanal (alcohol, strippers, etc.). The groom may prefer an evening of billiards or a day of paintball or something else more sedate.
“So, Mr Brown, is anything worn under the kilt?”
“Ach, no, yer Majesty; it’s all in in perfect workin’ order.”
Having planned 14 (!) of these things, I feel I can speak with authority on the matter. So here’s my advice:
-
What Dogzilla said. If you have the bachelor party the night before the wedding, the absolute best case scenario is that the groom will be miserable the next day.
-
Get some ground rules from the bride (or get the groomsman who is closest to her to do it) if the groom doesn’t. You don’t have to ask permission for everything little thing but there are some women who will murder you and call off the wedding if any part of a stripper touches their husbands-to-bes’ laps. If nothing else, you will be serving the cause of matrimonial harmony since (1) the bride will find out, and (2) she’ll blame the groom.
-
Plan a little down time into the bachelor party. It can’t all be sex and drugs and rock and roll. Play poker for a couple of hours or something.
-
Bring a change of clothes for the groom. And a bucket. And make sure he drinks a hell of a lot of water during the day.
- show up
- do as you’re told
- be polite and helpful
- have fun