We’ve got one of those sand-filled frog paperweight-like things here that has spent months adorning the top of the water bottle on the water cooler. Whenever the bottle gets changed out, someone here arranges him to lie facing forward, observing all water transactions.
I don’t know why, but of late I’ve been possessed to rearrange Mr. Frog into positions resembling those that might be a result of sudden, violent death: Over backwards, down on the ledge with one leg hanging over, whatever. And my unknown office opponent has been rectifying his position, sometimes within moments of my rearragement.
I don’t know who my opponent is. There are only twelve people in the office. My prime suspect is known for being a bit anal, so I’ve incorporated an additional trap. The water cooler is one of those that you recharge by unsealing a new 5 gallon bottle and try to flip it over and get it seated before you’ve watered too much of the kitchen. My prime suspect absolutely desires that the water company’s logo be facing forward, so in an ancillary effort to that of bedevilling the frog, I’ve been making minute adjustments to starboard of the water bottle logo. Soon, it will be to askew to ignore.
Do you think there is anyway you could get the froggy inside the water bottle? Maybe when the bottle is nearly empty?
I’m sure your adversary would be so beside him/herself at the discovery that they would betray their anonymity with shrieks of horror and grief.
Or have you thought of kipnapping Mr. Frog and leaving a ransom note. Or send him on a world doper tour and have pics dispatched back to the office of Froggy in London, Froggy in Cincinnati, Froggy in New Amsterdam…
World tour? That’s a thought. I have discovered that if I work the sand out of froggy’s fingers and hand, he can arranged to display a contempuous hand signal.
How funny would it be to have the frog disappear, and a few days later a picture of the frog in front of say, the White House appears on top of the watercooler. A few days after that and he’s in Disneyland.
Or…you could take the frog and lock him in your desk until he decides to come back. Leave an “I’m off to see the world!” note on the cooler and have Dopers send postcards from across the country to your workplace signed “The Frog”. Heehee! That would prevent the frog from becoming lost in transit, and you could end it whenever you wanted.
Lemme know if the frog decides to visit Massachusetts.
What would be better is to buy a similar froggy, and disembowel it, or put it’s decapitated head on a pike on top of the water bottle. Make sure you use a new one, just so that when said party pooper explodes in fury, you can hand over good ol’ Mr. Froggie and tell him “GOTCHA!!!”
But Froggy graveyard is a fun game (but only if no real frogs are killed. Then it just gets creepy).
Or find one of those expanding capsules, you put them in the water and it turns into a sponge type thing. If you can find one that turns into a frog. They have to be around somewhere.
Dang, now I wish I had a water cooler at work. Oh well, there’s always the coffee pot.
Send Froggy to me. I’ll take a picture of him somewhere in Oz send the pic to you and send him on to the next ‘volunteer’ to take a pic. When he finally gets back, he will have a wonderful trip log and in the meantime, your office people can ‘dream’ about the places that Froggy has been.
What about a little paddy of Frog Pate? Put it on top of the water cooler with a small plate of crackers. Make sure you take a little bite out of it, too.
Well, Arnold, interesting idea, but I don’t think so.
It’s conceivable.
You be quiet, now!
Developments of note: today I had to leave the office for a couple of hours. and when I came back, Froggie was posed atop the water cooler in an excellent nose-over death position, one leg wildly askew, that I DID NOT ARRANGE!!!
My stomach’s splitting right now (especially over Seawitch’s post)…
Do you know your opponent’s e-mail address? Or maybe the other 11 people’s addy? You could sign up an account like froggy@somewhere.com and post a picture of the froggy here… I’d be happy to take a picture of the local (obviously Taiwanese) scenery and splice the two pictures together and send it back to you… Froggy globetrotting, now in digital!
Or maybe get some red and yellow cellophane, make a fake fire, and prop a pot up near the fire with the froggy inside…
Can Froggy do headstands? Can Froggy do headstands with things balanced on top of him?
In dim sum places, they serve coconut milk with tiny tapioca balls… if you can get some of those balls, perhaps they may serve as frogspawn?
Man, I wanna start something like this! Hm, my kid sister has a froggy Beanie Baby…
