You remember like a week or two ago I posted about how they don’t care about military spouses here? Well my life in the past week took a really bad turn that shows that they DO care…but about the wrong things.
I had a fight with my husband that ended with him shoving me, it’s not the first time he shoved me nor was it the hardest, but I ended up smacking my arm against the wall pretty hard, so hard it gave me a huge bruise a big swelling and a weird, not right lumpy feeling. Now I do love my husband quite a bit and as I have said to countless people this week, he did not intend for me to hit the wall. I know that doesnt make it right, but…
So the day this happened that was all. Our fight was over and life was ok, I guess, except for our usual daily arguments. On tuesday, though, we argued again and I went to go talk to my friend, who upon hearing about my arm (which still hurt and felt lumpy) made me go to the hospital to make sure it wasnt broken.
I told the doctor that I fell but she didnt believe me and next thing you know there’s police, a psychiatrist, and those damn family advocacy people all over me. They forced me to make a statement about what happened even though I didnt want this. They wouldnt let me leave the hospital or call my husband on the phone at first. When I called him he was very upset and said he was going to divorce me. They forced him to go to the police station and get booked, they forced me to not see him and threatened to make him stay away from me for 3 days or so, “for my protection”. I begged and pleaded that he is not dangerous but they take this stuff to the extreme. Finally his first sergeant showeed up, and she’s nice and I trust her so I was happy she was there because she’s the only one of them who listened to me. They had me go talk to her and then my husband was there and he NEVER looked at me like that before: this total look of hatred, betrayal, hurt. I felt like a horrible monster. This all happened because I went to my friend’s house.
So we are now forced to go to counseling, which my husband doesnt take well to because it didnt work the times he had to go in his previous marriage. I also fear terribly that he will divorce me because occasionally he says “I can’t live with someone who thinks I’m hostile” and “we can’t be together.” Times come where, on our own, like tonight, we have great fun and are cute and loving and the incident is forgotten. However with us having to go to constant counseling and having a case come up about us and him probably having to take anger management classes again, it will never go away. The old wound will just be reopened.
So yes, they do care about military spouses here, but to the point where they make it so I will no longer be one by ruining my husband’s career. Everyone on his job calls him a wife beater now…they werent supposed to have heard about it at all…all this because I opened up my mouth where I shouldnt have.