I agree, but to a point. Unfortunately, brushing relationship problems with a feather first, never really solves the problem.
So what hammer of truth can you possibly hit him with that will oblate the truth of his experience? The guy is obviously aware of the cold hard truth…she don’t want him. He knows how it feels, he is grasping at straws and is aware of it. These are the throes. Vervain to quell the wound, my friend.
Yes, she doesn’t want him. Why agonize over someone who doesn’t want you? The hammer in this case, was the advice to move on. I’m not the only one to have ever given this advice.
Well, you see some people have these things called emotions, and memories, and a conscience. Yea, geee I bet that never occurred to him…move on. A Bleak outlook met with bleakness just makes BLEAK.
:eek: Why, you don’t say?
You make it seem as if I recommend “moving on” for everything. This is not true. Moving on advice is, IMO, the best advice that you can give for relationship hangups. Is it not? If you WANT to feel better, moving on is what you HAVE to do. This includes using your time in other areas of life to help you forget about it. And the sooner this is done, the sooner you’ll get over it. That’s a good thing.
I’m still not sure where our disconnect is, but let me lay this out. This is my basis for not getting any sympathy in this situation…
Guy gets girlfriend
Guy has feelings for her
Girlfriend expresses lust, not love to boyfriend
Boyfriend knows this, but is still in love mode
Boyfriend no longer has girlfriend
Boyfriend still has feelings of love for her
Girlfriend finds a new boyfriend, and wants nothing to do with the old boyfriend
Boyfriend still has feelings of love for her
Boyfriend now drinks because of it, and wallows for months about it in confusion
(This is an example. It may, or may not be the OP’s situation.)
The issue I have is, is why does the boyfriend still have feelings for the ex-girlfriend that wants absolutely nothing to do with him? Why endure so much pain for so long that was brought on by the false perceptive image of someone else? Take note: you willingly carried on a relationship in which love was not reciprocated, when you expected it that it should, for a long time. That person no longer loves you for cryin’ out loud. Yet you still have hope.
I know I’m digging a hole here, and it probably sounds a lot like replacing the kitty with a new one because it only costs $10 for another kitty to make up for the sadness. But come on now, 6 billion people in the world. How can your feelings for someone be so unique for someone who doesn’t want you, in which you expect it, that you can’t just find someone who does want you, in which you can share everything with that person without all the drama?
Why pass up the opportunity of these advances? Maybe one of these girls could’ve been the one for him, and him for her? But instead, he holds out for the one that doesn’t want him (for a long time). I sorry, I just don’t get that.
Relationship drama. 
What you say is true, but I was making a comment on him and the comments here, he was unclear about the details of the relationship, so we have no way of knowing the extent of his emotional investment but it appears that he currently has no hope and no esteem and is feeling this acutely…the last thing he needs is to be beaten over the head with “Boy, just buck up and find another one.” Hopelessness should be given hope, not cliche platitudes and “well, It’s an unfair world and you just need to get over it.” Sure that’s part of the truth, but the whole truth is we always carry the ones we love with us in our heart and though we can callous ourselves over time they remain in our heart and the pain and joy that causes is not inconsequential.
I can meet you on your points. I’m still confused on the topic of relationships in general. (who isn’t?) I have to write out my confusion sometimes. Best wishes, BabaBooey.