::Switching into 3rd person self-analysis mode::
As Scylla goes through his life, different parts of his brain perform different functions. One of these is self-evaluation.
The sef-evaluation section of Scylla’s brain is basically just a failsafe, rubberstamping the actions, words, and thoughts, perpetrated By Scylla’s conscioussness.
To some that may be a dangerous setup, however Scylla’s conscioussness is usually rather adept at thinking ahead and avoiding obvious blunders.
So, usually there just isn’t a lot for self-evaluation to do. Most of the work is done by the conscious brain, which is all well and good because self-evaluation has gotten particularly lazy.
Well, times have changed. For the last week and a half or so the lazy workers in self-evaluation have been putting in overtime.
The conscious brain has been rather slipshod lately.
Picture an airplane cockpit with about ten thousand different warning lights. Such is Scylla’s brain.
As Scylla goes about his day he notices that the “hostility” warning light seems to be going off quite a lot. The “arbitrariness” and “impatience” gauges seem to be deeply in the red.
Noticing this, Scylla runs a systems check but finds everything A-ok in his life. “Stress” is in normal operating ranges, and everything else checks out.
Scylla concludes that it must be a short, and continues to operate as if no warning lights were going off in Self-evaluation. After all we don’t really need those incompetant knuckleheads anyway. Scylla is never hostile. Scylla is never impatient. Scylla is always reasoned, and never arbitrary.
But the lights stay on. As time passes, Scylla’s conscioussness decides that the dorks in self-evaluation just might be on to something. Scylla notices that he is acting rather hostile, impatient and arbitrary.
Seeing as the systems check turned out Ok, Scylla runs a check on “Outside influences.”
A-ha! Paydirt!
It seems that Scylla’s in-laws are in town. Doubtless things will return to normal once they leave.
Well, that was a week ago. They’re gone. Scylla’s warning lights are still deeply in the red, and now they’ve started flashing. Active Conscioussness confirms the aberration.
So today Scylla resets the board. He takes a half-day at work, comes home and mows the lawn, listening to his Walkman. He works out and goes for a very long run. Then he tries to trim some branches with the chain saw but the Goddamn Fucking Thing won’t start.
Lights are still flashing.
Scylla knows that using the big Stihl chaninsaw with warning lights flashing in his head is very dangerous.
Scylla cuts in all overrides, shuts down emotionality, and operates purely on intellect, addressing the problem with the chainsaw, starting it and trimming a few tree branches to prove that he is still in control.
Scylla goes inside, takes a shower and eats the dinner that Mrs. Scylla has thoughtfully provided. Mrs. Scylla is interested in conversation. Scylla is not. He snaps at her.
The warning light comes on and a shrill alarm sounds. Scylla immediately apologizes. Hostility towards Mrs. Scylla is never acceptable. It is also more dangerous than a chainsaw. Mrs. Scylla is part German and part Italian, and does not put up with that shit.
Scylla strives for control. Sits down at the computer and asks a moderator to close a rather hostile thread he started.
Good.
Scylla looks at another thread and immediately types two hostile replies. He reads them, realizing the hostility is unwarranted and in fact his thoughts would have been better served had he been less of an asshole.
Warning lights all over the place.
Now, there’s another item on Scylla’s “outside influences” list that he hasn’t mentioned. It’s not a big deal. Scylla quite rightly thinks that he customarily deals with much worse on a day to day basis without setting off any warnings.
Scylla’s probably moving. He doesn’t want to, but it makes sense. We’re rather isolated, and now that we have a little kid it makes a lot more sense for quality of life for Mrs. and Baby Scylla that we be more convenient to schools, and social life. It is lonely and hard out here for Mrs. Scylla with a young’ un.
We’ve been looking for about a year, and think we found a very nice place that is both private and convenient. We’ll probably do something on it in the next week or so.
Scylla would really rather not move. He doesn’t like turning his life upside down, and buying and selling properties and moving stuff is a really big hassle. He likes the farm. Still, it’s undoubtedly the right thing to do and the new property we’re looking at is really a win-win situation. Scylla gets everything he loves about the farm, a really nice house, less work, and more convenience.
Scylla really hopes this is what is setting his warning lights off. He thought it was the in-laws and such, but maybe it’s this.
Scylla decides that he’s going to operate under this assumption and see if he can’t get some of those lights out of the red.
Frankly, he’s a little worried.
to that last post. I don’t want to piss Scylla off while he’s still got ready access to that chainsaw.