Weak, You hack!
I think that what she did was perfectly acceptable. And much more level-headed than what I would have done.
Imagine if you found a specific cause reprehensible. It doesn’t matter which, pick one - PETA, abortion, gay rights. You hate it. You think it’s evil. Then some bitchy passive-aggressive relative that supports said cause donates in your name to that cause. It doesn’t matter what it is, that’s just wrong, and it needs to never happen again.
I despise the Catholic church. That isn’t to say that I have a problem with most Catholics - I don’t. The good majority of the Catholics I’ve met are generally pretty good people. But the Catholic religion sends my “uh oh” meter through the red. I dislike the organization as a whole and believe it to be corrupt and more part of the problem than the solution. The Pope gives me the willies, and I can’t help but be scornful of a church that actively says that people who love are going to Hell just because of whom they love. I dislike the Church about as much as I dislike people who kill puppies for no good reason or people who molest children. I, personally, view their teachings as willfully spreading ignorance, which I, personally, view as the greatest sin imaginable. I may be wrong, but this is what I believe.
Do you honestly say that I should just brush it off if a relative donates to the cause that I believe is a sickness of the land in which I live? Do you honestly say that I should just deal with it when they have made a sect of people believe that I support something I am disgusted by with every ounce of my being? I say no. I say that said relatives donating to said cause is just as offensive as if they’d come to my house, spit in my face, and backhanded me, and should be dealt with appropriately.
They let their opinions be known on the issue, and still their relatives insulted them in the face by doing this. It’s only right that they strike back.
(Note: While I do, personally, dislike the Catholic Church as a whole, I have no problem with the Catholic faith. I believe the Church, much like the current Administration of the U.S., is corrupt and needs to be taken down and brought up to date. They bother me; belief in God does not).
~Tasha
I’m sorry for being argumentative, but I dont believe that’s Catholic doctrine. Who goes to Hell and Heaven is up to God and Him alone. If you are referring to homosexuals, I dont think the Catholic religion says they are going to Hell for their sins. At least that’s how I view my Catholic faith.
As I said - I have absolutely no problem with Catholic faith. It’s the Roman Catholic Church that freaks me out. I don’t view faith as a problem, I view the corrupt officials of that faith who use it to abuse their worshippers as the problem.
Anything that linked me to it in a supportive stance I would be violently against, and would react in kind.
~Tasha
I’ll take that to mean you don’t have a proper answer. Nuff said.
Tasha, that describes a Lot of faiths in the US. I’ve been hated by people who knew my family’s church before they knew my first name. (oh, to be a Taig… :rolleyes: ) Growing up, I couldn’t help be but scornful of churches who taugh their parishoners to hate people just because of the families they were born into. I’ll never forget that girl I had a crush on in 7th grade who said to me one day “Oh, you’re Catholic? shrug Guess you’re going to Hell then…”
But there are also those Uber-Catholics who look down their noses at the rest of us (I guess every religion has its Dicks). For my 10th birthday, I got an anonymous card in the mail indicating that masses were paid for to have people pray for me. I remember reading it next to my Dad & then turning to him to say “Guess I’ve been sinning too much, huh, Pop?”
He-Who-Was-Serious-At-Almost-All-Times actually fought to keep from laughing. 
How is what I said judgemental? They both clearly did this thing in spite. Indygrll has stated numerous times her motivation and her in-laws motrivation. What judge ye, from Indygrrls OP? She pretty clearly is telling them to fuck off… Can’t you just feel the Love? There was no judgement on my part, I didn’t have to judge, the intentions were clearly stated. Revenge, Anger, and Hate.
She did pick her battle and did choose what she wanted to make an “issue.” Just because you wouldn’t have chosen this particular battle is no reason she necessarily should do the same.
Eh. You took a nice, if mis-placed, gesture from an old couple and you turned it into a personal insult. I would say you were the bitch in this situation, and you should be ashamed.
I mean… COME ON! They are old grandparents who are doing what they think is something nice. It doesn’t affect your life in anyway what-so-ever to have your name on a Catholic list. Ohhh… you got an extra piece of mail! lets shit all over some old peoples beliefs! That will show them!
ass.
quote from the OP, emphasis mine. this apparently was the only fucking contact you’ve had w/these people? The two cards weren’t even from the same folks?
And for that, you gleefully,** intentionally**, put them on a mailing list, with their contact info. we don’t know yet if you’re on one (I really doubt it from your description - the card and note were from the grandparents in laws, and not from the charity).
you’re right, Bayle she ‘picked her battle’. and it certainly wouldn’t have been the one I selected.
you do realize, don’t you, that w/o the contact info, the name is most likely worthless - hell, I’ve got an unusual name and googling finds at least a half dozen folks w/that same name. I’m quite certain that odds would favor at least one of 'em has drastically different ideologies from mine. But since they’re in other states, and the contact info is different, I loose absolutely no sleep over the concept that somewhere out there, there is most likely a list of names containing mine supporting some cause I find repugnant.
‘oh gosh, the horrors, some group I’ve never met, have my name (but probably no contact info) on a list!! gasp!’ Nope, still nothing.
No, I think it was done with the intention of showing **Indygrrl ** how they can “religiousize” her life whether she wants them to or not. I think her response was perfectly appropriate, especially since she has her hubby’s blessing (so to speak). The Catholic Church offers this kind of gifting with the intention of helping other Christians spread the love. A friend of mine who has been a Catholic priest for 30 years has told me that folks like **Indygrrl’s ** grandparents-in-law cause problems for the church all the time, either because they are ignorant of the true beliefs of those who are “gifted” or because they’re assholes.
You might want to go back and read Post #82, or at least the part I’ve quoted below.
I read that before I posted, still doesn’t change anything. If these GP’s are so mean and nasty why bother send any card at all? They remembered her b-day. So what if it had some psalms on it?
I still dont see any malice in it (of course we all only know part of the story) but what Indy did was mean and spiteful, and done on purpose. She bitches about them not being nice people, who was the asshole in this situation?
I’m surprised at how many personal friends and relations these grandparents have on the boards. How else to explain how so many people in this thread know the grandparents motivations and personalities better than Indygrrl?
I am with Indygrrl. And her and I have disagreed in the past, but I don’t see a problem with anything she did.
However, I am here to post something else entirely. I work for a charity. And I can tell you - if we were the third party in this situation and we had Indygrrl’s address you can bet your ass we’d then have her address in 50 different places and yes we’d mail her all kinds of shit.
Charities do a great many good things - that’s why I’m still here. However our bottom line is to raise money. So, yes, we keep everybody’s address we can get hold of, and yes, we do send out letters left and right.
Now if someone mailed us something like the above, and told us not to put the mailing address in our database, that’s different. However I can’t see that happening in this circumstabce,
but you see, we don’t have any proof that the inlaws gave 'em their contact info. we do, however know that the OP did. Because of how it was put in the OP, that the inlaws wrote on the card ‘a donation was made in your name’ I’m not certain that {edited to add this phrase in italics} * anything other than * the contact name was given.
So, at this point, we KNOW the OP did the nasty, we don’t know that the inlaws did. and again, from her OP, her only contact w/these folks is the occasional card. they don’t make the trip for other family functions.
So, given all that, I’m hard pressed to see what the fucking big deal is. They send a card you don’t like. gosh darn. The only thing to get uptight about is if (and again, it’s a big if) they gave contact info to the charity. then, yes, you’ll be tossing out mail from them. But we’re not at all certain that they gave contact info.
I don’t know. I think you must never have been at the receiving end of an extensive campaign to convert you to someone else’s religion. It’s a thousand little slights, each one of which taken alone is nothing but when you put them all together it hurts. And when it’s someone who’s supposed to respect you it’s worse.
I have been at the receiving end of such as this, so perhaps I sympathize more.
their only contact with these folks is an occasional card. how pervasive is that?
(yes, I’ve been on the receiving end of conversion tactics)
That statement displays a level of willful blindness that makes Ray Charles look like the Hubble Space Telescope.
I disagree. I believe that most folks, when they ‘gift’ people , give them things that they, the giftor would appreciate. My sil gave me a big set of matching lipsticks, nailpolishes etc one year, and a big makeup kit another year. I’ve not worn lipstick/nailpolish (other than an occasional foray into glow in the dark glitter stuff) since I was 13 (many, many years ago). And I don’t think it was done as a ‘you should wear this’, but more of “any woman would like this, why I would love this”.
I see it all the time.