Funniest "clean" Joke Ever Told?

In My Humble Opinion
1

ok we all know that the BIBLE is the greatest story ever told and i am not arguing or questioning that it is true. what i want to know is what is the funniest “clean” joke ever told.
i know it is stupid and doesn’t really have any significance but it is funny for some odd reason.

My two questions to you are:

  1. what do you think is the funniest “clean” joke ever told

  2. does anyone have any explaination as to why jokes such as this
    my answer:

  3. i remember this joke from grade school and yet i still laugh when i hear it “Q. what did one coffin say to the other? A. Is that you Coffin?”

2

Research has been done.

(The site of the project itself is here.)

I personally find, on the average, clean jokes much funnier than dirty ones. Not that I’m particularly prudish; I just don’t like that sort of humor.

And lust but not least: That’s a topic for an IMHO thread.

3

Here is a factual answer to this non-general question:

http://www.laughlab.co.uk/

This thread would be more appropriate in In My Humble Opinion.

4

I’ll move this thread to IMHO.

bibliophage
moderator GQ

5

I have the funniest joke ever told, actually: What is the tallest building in the world?

…

The library! Because it has the most stories!

:slight_smile: :smiley: :slight_smile:

6

Why do women wear make-up and perfume?

Becuase they’re ugly and they stink.

7

The funniest joke ever told? I can’t tell you because you would die.

8

Funniest joke. Very deadly. Hold on to your pants.
Ready?
Pizza. There are lots of kinds of toppings for pizza, nowadays. Sausage, pepperoni, sun-dried tomatoes. Soon, you’ll be able to get… pizza on your pizza. Ah hah, hah, hah.

9

Qazz you make no since

10

you want to know something funny Speaker for the Dead? you already can get pizza on your pizza. i think they call them double deckers.

11

In the eyes of a friend of mine, the funniest joke ever told was…

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk

I find the following funny…

What’s brown and sticky?

A brown stick

12

Why do elephants have big ears?
Because Noddy wouldn’t pay the ransom.

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkly?
If they were small white and round they’d be aspirins.

How do you know if you have an elephant in your fridge?
Footprints in your butter.

13

What did the “0” say to the “8”?

Hey…nice belt!!!

14

“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Little old lady.”

“Little old lady who?”

“Hey, I didn’t know you’d taken up yodeling!”

Did you hear about the guy who argued with his wife till his voice practically wore out?

He was a little hoarse because she was a nag.

15

So I went to the doctor the other day for a check up. He called me this morning and said, “Splat, I have some bad news and some worse news.”

“Oh my God! What’s the bad news?”

“You only have 24 hours to live.”

“What?! How could there possibly be any worse news?”

“Well, I forgot to call you yesterday.”

16

Do I have to do this again?? I guess so:

This guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office with a duck on his head. The psychiatrist says, “Can I help you?” And the duck says, “Yeah, help me get this guy off my ass.”

17

Two nuns in a bath. There’s a knock at the door.

“Who is it?”

“I am the blind man, can I come in?”

“Sure”

“Nice tits. where are the blinds?”

18

The Empire State Building has 48 floors. It would have had 49, but, that’s another story.

19

Man visits doctor for a checkup. Doctor runs all sorts of tests, then calls the man in.

“Well, I have a couple of items of pretty grim news.”

“What’s the first one, Doc?”

“Tests show an early form of pancreatic cancer. There are steps we can take, but I won’t pretend this isn’t serious.”

“Oh my God … so what’s the second one?”

“Alzheimers. You have clear indications of the onset of Alzheimer’s disease.”

“Jesus … Alzheimers!” (pauses) “Well, at least I don’t have cancer!”

20

Not PC, but the funniest clean joke I know:

Q. What happened when the Indina named Shortcake died?

A. Squaw bury Shortcake.