Funniest porn ever!

Which was pretty much the premise of The Favor, The Watch, and The Really Big Fish. An actor takes sick and asks his friend (Bob Hoskins) to fill in for him at the studio. Not knowing what he is in for, he does, and has to fake the soundtrack along with stranger Natasha Richardson while they both watch the screen…

Well, subtitles would be distracting. >> <<

Speaking of hilarious porn dubbing, though…I’ve not seen this one - a friend described it to me… But it was animated, and dubbed…now, nobody bothers hiring good actors for porn, and cartoon voice acting can be a little odd, sometimes, and both of these pile up at once, in the form of the two male characters.

My friend described them as sounding like Kermit the Frog and Stephen Hawking.

Try to picture a 3-way involving Kermit the Frog, Stephen Hawking, and a random woman.

If you’re not laughing at the image, the brain bleach is $100 a dose.

I only saw this the other day and it’s more funny :confused: than funny :smiley:

I use a site called gayhotmovies to watch some of my films and one of the featured films was called “Straight Guys For Gay Eyes”. The blurb of the film is:

“It’s straight porn made for gay men. Jason Novak, those lips, those eyes that smile, that thick eight inch cock -Jason Novak is clearly one of the hottest guys in Prague. And he uses all of his assets to drive his lady wild with pleasure. You’ll be dreaming about Jason long after the movie is ends…”

I hate to break it to the people who made this film, but straight porn for gay men does not involve a woman. I don’t know what the hell they were thinking but why would gay men want to see a woman sucking a guy’s dick or getting fucked by a man? Why would that be attractive to us? There’s quite a big market in bisexual porn that is produced for both gay and straight men/women, but straight porn for gay men? That makes as much sense as “Gay guys for straight eyes! Watch these two hot guys fuck each other in the ass, something all you straight dudes want to see”.

:smack:

Phil Foglio, the creator of Girl Genius, also did a series called Xxxenophile. Science Fiction/Fantasy/Comedy porn. Available from online booksellers.

I can’t recall the title, but I once saw a '70s film set in ancient Sodom, where the king, who worships “Anu,” has decreed anal-sex-only for population-control purposes. There’s a visiting humanlike ET whose boss/captain is a chimpanzee who talks like a John Wayne parody and poses as God – the scene where he explains to Abraham what “circumcise” means is a classic.

Aaaand here’s the video. Very NSFW!! I didn’t name it, so don’t PM me about it, please. :wink:

http:/ /www.efukt.com/2063_Retard_Sex.html

A friend once gave me a tape of a porn version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It was in Italian, but dubbed in German.

Back in the day, there was a porn film called Blonde Ambition. It was actually pretty funny, but one scene in particular cracked me up. The female lead (can’t remember her name) was going down on Richard Bolla while he was telling her about a favorite recipe of his. The part where he’s telling her “beat it…beat it till it’s hot!” was funny enough, but after he comes, he looks down at her and says, “It serves six, you know.” Couldn’t stop laughing for five whole minutes!

Wait a minute, back up…PTERODACTYLS???

I saw a porn once that I don’t recall the name of, but it was a bunch of odd situations. (One scene had an elderly woman, another involved midgets, all sorts of wierd stuff) But the scene that made me bust out laughing was a light s/m scene with a woman tied to an X and a man tweezing off body hair from her (around the nipple if I recall) and feeding it to her. The funny part was that he asked her how it tasted and she responded in this high squeaky voice “Yummy delicious.” (note the lack of a comma or period. It wasn’t Yummy. Delicious. It was one complete phrase)

Now to make people that have seen it laugh, all I have to do is say yummy delicious.

Funniest fake money shot ever:

http:/ /www.tube8.com/erotic/not-porn-but-funny/53979/

NSFW: There’s no nudity in the video itself, but the page it loads will have plenty.

Are you kidding? That is one of the awesomest things I have ever seen. We haven’t laughed so hard in a long time.
ORAL ATTACK!!!

Well, I don’t know if bizarre would accurately describe these movies, but strange certainly would.

Backin the mid 1970’s, a buddy and I would go to a little adult theatre that showed hard-core porn, or what passed as such at that time. It was in a theatre that was the upstairs livingroom of an old 2-story house. Bookshop and peep-show machines downstairs, theatre upstairs. Probably held about 50 people max, but I never saw more that three other people there at any time.

Movies ran about 1.5 hours, then repeated in a loop. My buddy and I laughed our asses off at the movies. Some of them were certainly dirty, but they were so poorly filmed, or tongue-in-cheek, that they were much better as a comedy than a porn movie. The really strange thing was that the other “patrons” of the movie would sit there stock still, and never say a word, but it was impossible for us to keep from laughing.

One masterpiece we saw was “Batpussy”. Basically, a girl that would occasionally don a batman mask, hood and boots, and go to help people in need. Usually in need of some sleazy sex. The best part of the movie was her mode of transportaion.
She didn’t have any Batmobile or such - she used one of those big bouncy balls with the handle on the top that kids can bounce up and down on and bounce around the yard. There was a film sequence where she was out on a dirt road somewhere, bouncing down the road on this big bouncy ball, wearing just a mask, cape and boots. Cinematic greatness! God, how I would love to obtain a copy of that movie today, but I have never been able to find hardly any mention of it anywhere.

“Sam Slick, Private Dick” was another great movie that probably had less than $1000 budget. The most memorable scene was shot in a motel room where a couple was doing what you would expect them to do in a bad porn movie. Good thing there was very little dialog, because you almost couldn’t understand them due to all the noise from the traffic outside and other people walking past the room. The most memorable scene was when the camera man let loose with a fart. The actors suddenly stopped what they were doing, you heard the director whisper “Go on!”, and the actors picked up where they left off, only doing a poor job of trying not to laugh in the process.

The best line, though, came from a foreign movie that had been dubbed to English. In a scene after the man made passionate love to the woman, he sat on the side of the bed while the woman bathed in the afterglow. Then, in a voice so totally devoid of inflection or emotion, the man said, “You’re a great piece”. It was intended to be some kind of praise or compliment, but it was almost robotic in its delivery.
My buddy and I still bring this line up occasionally when we encounter similar unemotional dialog in a movie.

Weirdest part about this clip? Noticing the fan in the right-side background, and realizing that it’s the same type of fan that is currently sitting in my own home office, about six feet to my right. Glancing over to confirm, I found that it’s even positioned at precisely the same angle. The only difference, in fact, between the fan in the video, and the fan in the room with me, is that there aren’t fat people loudly fucking in front of my own fan.

I remember having seen one from the 80’s that had Santa banging some young chick, and had Mrs. Claus banging some guy.

Mrs. Claus was a 20-something actress with hair up in a bun, sprayed gray with the halloween hair color spray, wearing glasses, and for the kicker, someone’d sprayed her bush partially with the gray hair color spray, so it was sort of pepe-le-pewish.

I think this is the one that also had some midget that ran around, or was that the other Christmas-themed porno I saw…

I was watching a gay amateur movie once. They were fucking on the living room floor behind a couch. They were okay guys–not strung out creepy drug addicts or anything, but not smoking hot. The sex was surprisingly boring, but this was a clip I had paid for, so I was going to watch it, damnit.

Except…there was something in the background. Some sound that kept distracting me.

Then I realized what it was. The television on the other side of the couch was on.

And they were watching Celine Dion music videos. As in, one after another.

I decided to seek my entertainment elsewhere. Especially because I started to wonder if somebody was sitting on the couch, watching Celine Dion music videos, while two okay-but-not-great-guys had boring sex on the floor behind them. It was all just too much for me.

I bought it on DVD so I could get the original Italian language. The girl playing Snow White was so great and…and this is the really important bit…they found seven genuine dwarf men. When the American porn industry did Snow White, they had the same regular height actors that they’d always hire. Nope, this is Snow White having sex with seven dwarf men. You have to admire that kind of truth in advertising.

The film was pre-Viagra, so they had some “wood” issues, and in one scene where Snow White learned about anal, they substituted a strap-on.

In high school there was a VHS tape with a couple of porns on that my buddies and I had swapped around. The video was dubbed from some foreign language and it produced a line that we use to this day.

The guy was hammering away at the actress when, out of nowhere, he yells, “I’m a might lion, hear me roar!” He arches his back and then howls out, ‘Aroooooo!’.

Thereafter, anytime we discussed our sexual prowess we’d say, "I’m a might lion, Aroooo!

I dunno, [clown porn](http:// www.somethingawful.com/d/horrors-of-porn/clown-porn.php) can be pretty hilarious. Especially when the clowns aren’t funny.

Link broken, mildly NSFW.

Well, it sort of makes sense. I mean, by that logic, straight guys wouldn’t want to watch het sex because it shows a guy having sex, and who wants that? They should only be interested in lesbian porn. Also, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen gay guys (or was it lesbians?) write to Dan Savage talking about being into het porn, and not because they were bi at all but because the guy was really hot.

I guess it does it for some people.

There are some very easy to find edited clips of this on youtube. Hilarious!

Someone else saw it, I think.

Bat Pussy (?) (197? porn)
(no title or credits)

The anti-porn. Two hicks talk trash to each other on a bed for over a half hour. The guy looks like an out-of-shape Jerry Lee Lewis, and the woman is fat and has a bee hive. They are both freckled with bad tan lines. They can’t keep their story straight - first they’ve never had sex, then they’re married for 7 years, then 10, then they have step children, then they have two kids of their own, etc. They’re supposed to be having sex inspired by pictures in Screw magazine, but get distracted by bitching at each other. Long shots and mind-numbing conversation, such as their debate over whether her pussy is a “money maker” or not. Occasionally they swap attempts at oral sex, but he does not manage an erection throughout the entire film, giving him something to share with the audience. The sound cuts off everytime the cast looks up for direction. Meanwhile, Batpussy detects a crime because her twat begins to twitch. She rides one of those big inflatable rubber balls with a handle through a field for a while, then shows up at the house. She jumps in and reminds us that this is supposed to be a pornographic film. Batpussy is a fox in contrast, but still not much. At least she appears to be genuinely horny, something I attribute less to acting ability and more to a combination of cocaine and a bad childhood. They roll around a bit, falling off the bed a few times, and the wife fucks herself with an unattached strap-on dildo. Then Batpussy gets up, the end. I defy anyone to successfully masturbate to this film. What’s worse is that I imagine that this is an accurate portrayal of most of America’s sex life.

http:/ /www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Rr5mG7FMDw - OMG, it’s as bad as described…

Great logo, though.