So, I was going through my zillion bookmarks and reading and deleting, when I came upon Pissing on a cat. Giggling ensued, and I was successfully distracted from my stated ambitions of folding laundry, running the dishwasher and cleaning the bathroom once again.
While leaving the dead threads lying peacefully, how about some markers to honour their cackle-inducing goodness? What threads have the best, and the funniest stuff?
I can’t think of any - but I am subscribing just to see what turns up
A classic: The horror of blimps
Two of my favorites: Funny things said during love making/intimate moments… (don’t worry, it’s been closed) and jjimm’s I stuck my wedding ring up my nose (from 2003 but not closed)
The very one that made me cough up my $14.95!
I read that for the first time tonight. I have never laughed so hard in my life.
Sgt Schwartz
Have Any Amway Encounters to Share? has some good ones, including an absolute riot of a post (#29) by RickJay.
Oh, thanks so much for posting that. Now I need to go disinfect my wedding ring.
My impression, formed from several years of observation of these sorts of threads, is that, were a poll taken of all members to find the funniest post in SDMB history, “The horror of blimps” would come out the best-remembered favorite by far
Kid’s Books We Hope We’ll Never See There’s another one somewhere . . .
Fictional events From a different perspective
Anyone know of a good way to get rid of Smurfs ?
Who would win a war between the Oompa-Loompas and the Munchkins ?
I have so many old time hilarious threads popping into my head, but I can’t seem to find them for some reason.
The two I’m thinking of?
“Fat people are out to get me”, by SkinnyGuy. Or words to that effect at least. 99% sure it was a pit thread.
“Guy Stuff”, by UncleBeer, 100% sure it was MPSIMS.
Perhaps there’s a reason these old threads (2000, 1999, who knows?) can’t be searched anymore, I dunno.
The Horror of Toobs. Master Wang-Ka’s tale of a snapping turtle and the hapless Bob.
Sampiro’s musical posts about the blown tire.
This trio of posts starts in the middle of another thread, which was also funny as a I recall. But go to post 184 and read from there. Probably the funniest Dope thread I’ve ever seen, although I look forward to reading the blimp one.
Sampiro’s, uh, ‘frustrated’ response to some coworkers is also great.
And then there’s the classic ‘What if LOTR had been written by someone else?’ thread.
I can’t seem to find them through Search, probably because they’re too old, but I do recall a couple of threads that had me howling at work back in around 2001 or so. Maybe I just had a dull job, but they made me laugh.
One was called (IIRC) “Bachelor–Party of One.” It was basically what you might hear a restaurant host call when your name comes up on the wait list:
“Bachelor–Party of one!”
“Little Pigs–Party of three!”
“Lords a Leaping–Party of twelve!”
“Flintstone Kids–Party of ten million! What, you mean they’re growing?”
… and so on, getting progressively sillier as the Dopers’ imaginations grew more and more creative.
The other was a list of made-up Ikea-type names for Ikea-type products. Again, IIRC, the following would be typical:
“Boorn Tout–A strikingly modern Swedish-designed lamp that never works but looks great.”
“Krudd–Something we’re sure you can find a use for. Because we can’t.”
“Karriall–Handy for holding Krudd.”
… again, my memory cannot do justice to the Dopers’ imaginations. But you should get the idea.
I can’t seem to find it, but there is a great thread about the Evil that lurked inside someone’s cooler, and someone took the time to make a username of that evil cooler. A defining moment is when it is debated how a cooler can get an internet connection.
Anyone know what I am talking about?
DVD technology can lick my sweaty hirsute ass, except, of course, the thing being Pitted isn’t the problem.
There’s also the Nazi groundhog thread, which unfortunately seems to have vanished.
I present: Do zombies poop?
Theories of how zombie physiology could possibly work are discussed with such academic seriousness, it’s comedy gold.
That was the thread that introduced me to the Dope. A friend on my LJ posted a link to it, I read it and then stayed to see what else the Dope had to offer.
You can’t go past the 18"DHIBJD thread.