“Did someone say McDonald’s?”
“No,” Byzantine says, reloading, “I said hand me my ammo.”
“Did someone say McDonald’s?”
“No,” Byzantine says, reloading, “I said hand me my ammo.”
I’ve been having this problem. Heather Graham and Winona Ryder keep calling me up and hanging around my house. I’ve tried telling them I’d be interested in being their friend but they insist on wanting a physical relationship with me. They’re both nice women but I’m already in a committed relationship with Salma Hayek. All three have said they’d be willing to share me but naturally I’m not interested in that. I’m sure plenty of other posters here have been in similar situations so I’d appreciate any advice.
Advice ?
Wash, rinse, repeat.
DAMN !!! I just knew Selma was cheating on me…
Coldfire
“You know how complex women are”
Why is it that the bear is the only animal ever shown getting into honey? I refuse to believe that the other woodland creatures are just so stupid that they have no idea how good honey tastes!
Why don’t we ever see foxes with sticky honey noses?
Why don’t we ever see racoons getting into a bee hive?
Why don’t we ever see a single fucking squirrel mixing its honey and winter nuts and making itself a tasty little treat?
What kind of lobby do those freakin’ bears have?
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
Mmmm, flapjacks
…but when you get blue, and you’ve lost all your dreams, there’s nothing like a campfire and a can of beans!
Well, shut my mouth. It’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.
Would you like fries with that?
“Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good
things.” --Edgar Degas
Why do they call this the Straight Dope, how can you be straight and on dope at the same time?.. oh well, nevermind.
You want brilliance BEFORE I’ve had my coffee!!!
Cheese.
Nothing like a bad decision
Says who you are.
-Gin Blossoms, “Perfectly Still”
Humor*(n)* - any fluid or juice of an animal or plant; especially, any of the four fluids [b}(cardinal humors)** formerly considered responsible for one’s health and disposition; blood, phlegm, choler or melancholy.
Now that’s humorous.
“Some people are worried about the difference between right and wrong. I’m worried about the difference between wrong and fun.”
~P.J. O’Rourke~
I think now would be a really good time to discuss God. By the way, If I post my homework here, will any of you do it for me?
Enright3
This thread is for completely non-serious posts. Post anything you’d never really say
or expect an answer to. Any resemblence to any person living or dead is strictly
coincidental.
Or has this post already been covered?
Global Cafe
waitress: “Hungary?”
1st guy: “Yes, Siam.”
waitress: “All right, I’ll Fiji.”
2nd guy: “Bring coffee, I Haiti. And put a Cuba sugar in my Java.”
w: “Sweden it yourself.”
1: “Uganda take my order?”
w: “Kenya wait a minute…”
2: “Iran out of sugar and the coffee’s cold-- did Iceland in it?”
1: “How’s the Turkey? Lotta Greece?”
w: “Cambodia chill out a sec? Ya Russia round too much.”
2: “I can’t Bolivia a waitress…”
w: “Canada bitchin!”
2: “Iraq on I’m Ghana get up Angola nguish elsewhere.”
w: “Romania seat. I don’t want ya Togo.”
1: “What’s gotten India? Tawain on last night?”
w: “My boss: Egypt me…Spain in the neck.”
1: “Korea problem is pain in your feet: You oughtn’t walk Norway tables in those. Wear Jordans. Now, Jamaica Panama favorite Chile?”
w: “U.S. for it, you got it.”
2: “Got any Syria? Bulgaria wheat, France stance?”
w: “In a China bowl.”
1: “Denmark it on my Czech.”
mY gIrLfRiEnD iS rIlY sMaRt BuTt I aM dUm As A pOsT sHe DuMpEd Me CuZ i WaS uSiNg HeRiOn So I sEd FuG yOu AnD aLl YoRe SmArT fRiEnDs In ThE NHL oR AFL-CIA!!!
So, who else wants to run themselves up Satan’s ass?
“Some people are worried about the difference between right and wrong. I’m worried about the difference between wrong and fun.”
~P.J. O’Rourke~
I let my cats eat some string, so I gave them some Tylenol, and when that didn’t work I gave them some white stuff I had in my medicine cabinet. I don’t know what it was. Now my cats are laying on their sides and they won’t stop throwing up. They are runing my carpet, so I think I am going to yell at them and hit them. Do you think I need to take them to the vet?
PS. This is only funny when you realize who it is coming from.
ARUGH!!! Now everyone’s gonna know!!
:::sheesh:::
StoryTyler
I am too in shape! :::muttering::: Round is a shape.
C’mon up and see me sometime.
New McDonald’s slogan:
“Our coffee is hot enough to liquify your genitals!”
If McDonald’s coffee were to liquify your genitals while you were in the middle of a forest and no one was around, would you be able to find a lawyer before the evidence evaporated?