Hey, Thats nacho cheese!
When it’s tooth hurty…
No sir, I don’t want one, and I don’t think you need another one.
A hush fell over the courtroom, killing six.
“Dan Rather? But he’s just a commontater.”
“Keep the tip.”
“42.”
…they’re both fun to ride until someone sees you.
…one says, “Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!” and the other says, “Hey! McLeod! get off of my ewe!”
…a super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
“Hey, Monica! Your replacement’s here!”
“Seriously, baby, I can prescribe anything I want!” -Dr. Nick Riviera
“And the parrot kept yelling, for $300 I want you NAKED!”
“One has hope in her soul. . .”
“So he answers the phone a third time and a voice says ‘Hi, this is Tom. Any calls for me?’”
And my favorite clean joke of all time. . .
“Tankety tankety tank.”
I understand all the words, they just don’t make sense together like that.
Some more:
‘Y’know, Superman, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk.’
‘The bull won.’
‘I just move them out of the way, and look at that clock.’
‘You think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?’
Eschew Obfuscation
Ooops, that’s what I get for only skimming the thread…(12 Inch Pianist is popular…)
As penance, yet more:
“Got any grapes?”
“You know, they’re right, we do taste like Chicken.”
“You know what I want - take it off and throw it up here!”
“Thursday’s your turn in the barrel.”
“It doesn’t say ‘Swan’ - it says ‘Saskatoon Saskatchewan.’”
There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not a man.
Bar jokes:
-
“I was TALKING to the DUCK!”
-
“Really? You got a drink called Charlie?”
Baseball joke:
- “Are you kidding? My father can’t even hit .250.”
Baseball and bar joke:
- “Maybe I shoulda said ‘DiMaggio’?”
Golf jokes:
-
“Yes, we would have been married 34 years next month.”
-
“For the rest of the round it was hit the ball, drag Charlie, hit the ball, drag Charlie.”
The Dave-Guy
“Since my daughter’s only half-Jewish, can she go in up to her knees?” J.H. Marx
Moo.
-
Blue. One blew this way. One blew that way
-
No, I said Bud Light!
-
Need Another Seven Astronauts
In the version I heard, it was actually the Chicago Police who beat up the bear.
I’m f*ckin’ FREEZING!!!
To keep his pants up.
He’s a Haifa-lootin’, Newton-shootin’, son of a nun from Arizona.
Because it is nevar put with the wrong end in fromt.
Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?
But where were the Spiders?
Danmit Rudolf I said the Smit House
Who left all the slick pages
“So would I, sir, but I don’t think there’s room in my ass for another baked potato!”
[ul][li]And to get him to cry, I showed him.[/li][li]They couldn’t get 7-UP[/li][li]What do you mean “wrong hole”?[/li][li]Naw, you get mean when you drink.[/li][li]Tea time![/li][/ul]
Wrong thinking is punished, right thinking is just as swiftly rewarded. You’ll find it an effective combination.
*orangecakes: Hey, Thats nacho cheese! *
[small]I always heard it as:[/small]
Hey, boy! Those not yo chips!