Q: What happens when you take your fish into the bar for a drink?
A: Crack that whip!
Q: What were my ex-SO’s last words before that unfortunate accident?
A: It took days of fishing around, but we finally found his watch.
Q: What were my ex-SO’s last words before that unfortunate accident?
A: It took days of fishing around, but we finally found his watch.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Tezza *
**
Question: What happened to that guy in Pulp Fiction who had to safeguard the keepsake?
Answer: A forty ounce should do it.
Q: I’m planning to design a line of retro disco jewelry. How big a medallion should I hang from this gold chain??
A: Under the china cabinet covered in nose hair.
Q. Where are my ceramic nose drops located?
A. A ruby red nose.
Q: What I got by taking that nosedive into a plate of lasagna.
A: Ooops…you don’t mind being hairless, do you?
Q. What’s different about the snow man in front of Leona Helmsley’s house?
===========================================
A: Change the setting from “suck” to “blow”.
Q: So, what do you think of my robotic Traci Lords?
A: Because you have to spend money to make money.
Q. The sexual android I ordered won’t do anything but eat lollipops- what am I doing wrong?!
A. My glow in the dark spoons.
(Sorry disregard my last post)
Q. Please tell me again why you haven’t paid me back the two grand you owe me?
A. Glow in the dark spoons.
Q. Why do you go to those $2,000 a plate fundraisers every single day?
A: A firecracker, 2 bottles of beer, and a used condom
Q: What are the things you can find in a Southern Baptist’s car on a Sunday morning if you look REAL hard?
A: Sixteen D Cell batteries
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by UncleBill *
**
Question: How many batteries does your vibrator take?
Answer: Windows XP.
Q: Tired of red, itchy eyes? Then you should buy…
A: A scrotum, a razor and a lot of spare time.
Q: Apart from Turtle Wax, what’s required to really get that “hard shell finish”?
A: Squid ink.
Q. What is the only thing you could write your essays in in Ms. Octopussy’s English tenth grade English class?
A black eye.
Q: What does Shirley Temple see with these days?
Hey, Zoggie, give us something to work with!
A: News of the Weird.
Q: What is the official newsletter of the Jerry Springer Fan Club?
A. A big bag of Oreos and a shop-vac.
Q: What’s the best to lick and suck?
A: It wasn’t this sticky the first time around.