Q. Is Little Jack Batty standing up to greet me?
A. I’ll put down the daggers if you promise to get down from the chandelier.
Q: So, Mr. Simpson, what did you say to your wifes cleaning lady?
A: I was golfing and buying gloves.
Q; I overheard you saying something about “having a good hole” and “could barely fit your fingers in”. What was that all about?
A: Green cheese.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by jr8 *
**
What was a staple at my college cafeteria?
A. 100 Kathie Lee Gifford CDs.
Q. What do they use for skeet shooting off the back of a Carnival cruise ship?
A. Betty and Veronica
Q. So, what are the two reasons why Archie of comic book fame left Riverdale to beat up on Homer Simpson?
(This one makes sense if you’ve seen the episode where Sideshow Bob runs for mayor…)
A. Kittens!! Barricade the doors!!!
A. Kittens!! Barricade the doors!!!
Q: What do you and your roommates say 9 months after you dated Josie and the Pussycats?
A: Funky Town.
Q. After replacing the third letter with an “n,” where did you tell your staid respectable parents we were going to be hanging out?
A. My angel in the center fold.
Q: Hey George – who’s the fat naked old guy named Clarence in this picture?
A: A foot and a half.
What do teenaged boys say when they’re trying to see two girls make out?
A: The three worst words to hear.
Ignore my last one, I missed the other pages… flake day
Q. What did they find in Hannibal Lector’s fridge next to the vintage wines?
A. It’s like the sun exploded.
Q: Why don’t you like the color of my dress?
A: A barrel of monkeys.
What does the African Sam’s Club stock right next to the “Crate Full’a Cheetahs.”
A : I’m no fool, no sirree. I’m gonna live to be 103!
Q: Why have you got your head in that barrel of brine, Mr. Perot?
A: But I’m still using it!
Q: That look’s really wrinkled, Should I?
A: Three fingers and a Pot of Honey.
Q. What did they find in rabid Winnie the Pooh’s stomach after he was taken down by the police?
A. Peking duck.
Q: Why shouldn’t you make love in a bird sanctuary?
A: The Weekly World News
Q: What periodical is geared to ex-Mafia guys who’ve had their fingerprints dissolved with acid?
A: The Song Remains the Same.
A. The song remains the same.
Q. How did you recognize Michael Jackson after all that surgery?
A. Once the rash cleared up, it was business as usual.