The good news: It’s benign
The bad news: It’s still a birthmark shaped like a penis on your forehead
The good news: It’s a three day weekend.
The bad news is HURRICANE EARL!
The good news is your just won a $5,000,000 house…
The good news is your just won a $5,000,000 house…
The bad news is you now owe the IRS $1,000,000 in taxes and you’ve had no luck selling the house to pay the tax bill
The good news is: Crime in your neighborhood is way down.
the bad news is that it is a direct result of you getting arrested.
the good news is that your kid made the honor roll.
The bad news is that she’s now having to serve detention for allowing her friends to cheat off her.
The good news is that it’s Friday…
the bad news is that your boss is forcing you to work the weekend so that he can take it off
the good news is that a national holiday has been declared in your honor
The bad news is that it’s a memorial holiday, so it’s been nice knowing you.
The good news is that you’re getting your big acting break, on this week’s episode of Law & Order SVU!
The good news is that you’re getting your big acting break, on this week’s episode of Law & Order SVU!
TBN is the producers picked you because your resume includes the viral video “Two Girls, One Goat”
TGN is that you have invented a way to lose 50 lbs by sitting on your ass…
The bad news is that your ass does the sitting. By itself. Detached from your body.
(Gee, you think a former standup comedian could write the punchline less awkwardly?)
The good news: it’s a boy!
The bad news : it’s not yours !
The good news : Uwe Boll quit the film industry for good.
the bad news: its because he feels that the movies you make fulfill his niche better than he ever could
the good news: You find a magic lamp with a very permissive good-natured genie. You can even wish for more wishes.
[QUOTE=Caveat lector;12876630the good news: You find a magic lamp with a very permissive good-natured genie. You can even wish for more wishes.[/QUOTE]
The bad news: That’s the ONLY wish the genie can grant. So you have infinite useless wishes.
The good news: Your zillion internet friends are all online at the same time.
The bad news: Due to some technical trouble, you cannot get online.
The good news: You live to see another day.
The bad news: That day is Armageddon.
The Good News: While walking down the street, you find a coll million dollars in US cash.
TBN: You are on a street in Afghanistan.
TGN: The love of your life looks you up and tells you they miss you terribly and want to get back together.
TBN: You just married someone else at 10:00 this morning.
TGN: It’s finally cooling off outside.
The bad news: because a gravitational anomaly has flung the Earth out of orbit into deep space.
The good news is, you wona new car on the Price Is Right!
The Bad News: Turns out Carl Sagan was right about Nuclear Winter
The good news: You awaken to find that all your debts are mysteriously paid off
The bad news: Your mysterious benefactor has rung up twice as many debts in your name.
The Good News: Your long lost brother, whom you haven’t heard from in 5 years, has turned up safe and well.
The bad news is: He wants to know why you’re living with his wife.
The good news is:You just got a full scholarship to your your first choice university.