The bad news: It’s a Matchbox car, as one of the minor prizes as part of a pricing game. Then you blow the game itself and walk away with naught but the toy car and $.15 from the Showcase Showdown.
The bad news: It’s an athletic scholarship from a non-major sport, and they didn’t check with the admissions office when they made the offer. Your rejection letter is in tomorrow’s mail. (Naturally, the large scholarship packet was sent by commercial carrier next-day delivery, and the rejection by slow bulk rate mail.)
The good news: You are cured of your FooVille addiction! (FarmVille, PetVille, and everything else by Zynga Games.)
The bad news is you were hit by a truck and you’re going to be spending the next few years in a coma.
The good news is that after months of training and preparation, you’ve finally reached the top of Mt. Everest.
The Bad News: You’re never coming down.
The good News: You’ve just received an offer for your dream job
The Bad News: Your new boss is a complete and utetr sociopathic crackhead.
The Good News: The tiny off-off-Broadway show you invested in is a huge hit and is going to the Great White Way (NYC’s Broadway)
The bad news: The production company uses Hollywood-style accounting, ensuring that to the investors, There Is No Profit. And passive losses are generally deductible only against passive gains, so you don’t even have a tax benefit.
The good news: I’m getting married!
See my Ask The thread on the Giraffe Boards
To King Shahryar, and storytelling has never been your forte.
The good news: You just pulled the sword from the stone.
The Bad News: This sword in the stone was part of a Load Bearing Spell and removing it causes the whole kingdom to collapse upon itself into a heap of rubble. Should’ve read the hilt more carefully.
The Good News: You’ve just been named as the new King
TBN: The last 10 kings were assassinated in their first week.
TGN: You won a free iPhone at a trade show give-away.
The bad news: You have to pay full cost on the plan’s contract. And send the iPhone in for a new battery, the current one is discharged. You’re out $300 before you can even turn the thing on.
The good news: The SDMB admins let you ban the Doper of your choice, no questions asked.
The bad news: every time you click the ban button the hamsters eat it.
The good news: a man/woman you’ve always desired told you he/she wants you.
The bad news: He or she is, unbeknownst to you, a very hungry cannibal.
The good news: The candidate you admire just won a well-deserved office.
The bad news it: Three days later they find out they have a fast acting terminal disease and their legal successor makes Kim Jong-il look like Lincoln.
The good news: You’ve won free high speed (1 Gbps+) internet for life.
The bad news: You just went blind.
The good news: An anonymous benefactor just paid off your mortgage for you.
The bad news: he did it with mob money and the Feds are seizing your house.
The good news: you won the lottery.
The bad news: Everyone you ever met in your life is suing you for monetary damages.
The good news: After 12 years of trying, you are pregnant!!!
The bad news: You’re 12 years old.
The good news: You develop the ability to compose the most beautiful music ever heard.
The bad news: Napster.
The good news: You win People’s Sexiest Man/Woman award.
The bad news: Sexiest man/woman because nobody (including you) is sure which gender applies.
The Good News: You just won free food for life at your local grocery.
The bad news: You’re terminally bulimic.
The good news: You enjoy excellent health, always have and always will.
The bad news is that you’re a fruit fly and you’re only going to live a couple weeks.
The good news is that the mayor is giving you a good citizenship award.