**“It’s a pornography warehouse. I was buying pornography.” **
Homer talking to his insurance agent after an auto accident. He didn’t want to say he was coming from a bar, but couldn’t think of anything else open late.
"I was wearing an onion on my belt, which was the fashion at the time…"
Grandpa showing Mr. Burns his method of strike-breaking. “The secret is to tell them stories that don’t go anywhere…”
“He’s history’s greatest monster!”
That’s Grampa, telling some story which he never finished, but which also involved something about how nickels had a bee on the back and they’d say “Gimme five bees”
Speaking of bees…
“It says ‘Let’s be friends’…and there’s a picture of a bee.”
(and from the same episode)
“It says ‘I choo-choo choose you!’…and there’s a picture of a train.”
"He’s history’s greatest monster!"
Voice from the crowd during the unveiling of a statue of Jimmy Carter "I have powers - political powers!"
Homer warning off Mr. Burns & his snowman army.
"Hey, Deng Xioping died!"
Homer reading one of the Chinese newspapers used to make the Applesauce PowerBars he was eating while climbing Mt. Springfield.
"That’s horrible… in principle."
Bart, after theorizing that Flanders was going to kill Rod and Todd.
"This is a pretzel town, pretty boy."
Pretzel franchise episode, of course. Fat Tony’s goons overturned Hans Moleman’s hot dog cart.
“Convicted of a crime I didn’t even commit. Hah! Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?”
Close enough on the Mel Gibson guess. It was actually Homer, in response to Mel’s line.
“I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there…save me Superman!”
Homer, being swept down the Springfield river in a cherry picker which he used to find Lisa.