Bad News Baboon reporting for Channel 8 news.
In tonight’s story, we shall meet two Straight Dope Super Heros.
Our first super hero is todd33rpm, who has the ability to speed up or slow down at whim.
todd33rpm, tell the viewers about your powers.
t33: well, Babs, I discovered my powers as a child. I was at an amusement park - Dale’s Park o’ fun- I couldn’t bear for the good times to end. I yelled out 78 rpm! and the world around me started to slooooooooow down. When the lines were long, I yelled: 45! and then everyone started to zip around like flies. It was a day I will never forget.
Babs: Interesting, Indeed. Who is your nemesis?
t33: well, that would be CD Man. He has no use for me he says. He says he intends to wipe me out.
Babs: wow. That is pretty harsh.
t33:no kidding. But with my faithful sidekick: Victrola, we shall overcome the evil CD Man.
Babs: standing next to todd33rpm, is **zweisamkeit
**, also known as “The Confuser”.
Z: Hello Babs, good morning to you.
Babs: Tell us about your super powers. tell us about your unpronounceable name.
Z: I am the zweisamkeit the Confuser. My name is strikes fear in the hearts of all evil doers. Only the truly good at heart can prounce my name.
I go from store to store filling out forms.
I send e-mails asking for people to call me back
“How do you say that?”
“Oh jeesh, how does one pronounce sdkfj[sieorehr?”
yes indeed, a cold sweat starts to over take my enemies. Then they start to try to pronounce my name and their tongue becomes twisted and tied. They are rendered helpless, I tell you.
Babs: Is it true you are a triplet?
Z: Yes, I have two brothers:zweifredkeit, an accountant, and zweitomkeit, a sherpa.
Babs:well, there you have it folks. and now, back to you Jim…