How about “I’m probably not as big as your past lovers, and if you’re really so shallow and conceited that it will actually make you love me any less, there’s the fucking door.”? 
Very discreet - you won’t even know he’s there.
Okay, sorry, but “Fun Size” is demeaning. I use that to insult people.
I’m a pretty average size, and although I’m rather self concious about it, the ladies who have delt with it seem to think I’m quite adaquate. Still, when trying to bolster my self esteme on the issue, my favorite way of putting it is:
"I’m hung like a Greek god!"
Sounds impressive, until you notice that most statues of Greek gods had two inch penises (penisi…peni…what the hell is the plural to penis?).
“Doesn’t break any records one way or the other”
“My dick has a GREAT sense of humor!”
“Bigger than Carrot Top’s”
“I qualify for membership in the Mystery Men.”
"I’m packing a ‘Gentleman’s Five.’ "
“Pamela Anderson couldn’t HANDLE this one, baby!”
“It’s friendly-size, not scary-size”
“Self-confident, nothing to prove”
How about
“Baby, let’s just say anal sex with me won’t be a pain in the ass.”
“It Ain’t the Meat (It’s the Motion)” :
It ain’t the meat it’s the motion
That makes your baby want to … rock
- Maria Muldaur
I’ve seen a 1920s era dirary from a female relative that referred to a man’s spartan tool.
I’ve seen a 1920s era diary from a female relative that referred to a man’s spartan tool.
“Has a Nice personality.”
Trial sized
Tall (as opposed to grande and venti)
Klein (German for “small”, according to Babelfish)
Piccolo (Italian for “small,” says Babelfish)
Eastern style (as in Asia)
I think that refers to a wee-wee that’s smaler than normal when flaccid, but average sized or larger when erect.
There once was a man named Lin,
Whose prick was the size of a pin.
As she fondled his shaft,
She observed with a laugh,
“Now this won’t be much of a sin!”
“Some men get a ding, others get a dong. I have the former.” ***
***Gotta partially credit Cecil for this one though.
“Bite-size” makes me cringe.
I overheard two girls talking and one say to the other, “Yeah, but so long as it doesn’t turn out to be a button mushroom …”!
But not what I would call a gentle euphemism.
Ah, so it was a 1920s style diary…
Personally, I’ve always preferred the term “stealthy”. The small ones stay hidden until they’re just about to strike…
How about:
Having a small dick
“His 8-inch cock is a rooster tattoo on his arm.”
great way to turn her off.
“Hey, baby … wanna’ see my 1920s-style death ray?”
CHUCKA CHUCKA WAH WAH …
How bout “drives a Porsche”