Hm…You are protesting might hard here… Let’s see some pics of your nightstand, post haste!
Um, no. But we do engage in a bit of clean-up. Whichever one is on top when we’ve both tapped out will reach over to the closest nightstand for the box of tissues and hand a couple to the other, before using a couple on their own slimy bits. In either case, a few swipes with a couple tissues does the trick. We’d rather do that than slime the sheets.
This note should be fore everyone, not just yourself. For my part I had a tiny plastic cap from a glue bottle gently grasped in my lips. I nearly swallowed it when I read this:
Apparently I’ve been doing it wrong for a lot of years. I don’t really get slimy. Whatever I do get is manageable on my next trip to the bathroom, but I don’t need to run right in there to “get it off get it off get it off me!”
Um, no. We employ a girl whose job it is to clean up Mr Winkie after he romps. Isn’t that typical? (Western Pennsylvania)
Happily we live in a house with more than one bathroom, so the dilemma has never come up.
I prefer an Erlenmeyer flask.
Just pour it on your face and chest instead and pretend that you really like it.
Graduated cylinder here.
Beaker Beaker, hello good buddy, you got your handle on?
Just in case you haven’t, it’s worth it to click through the link (or remember when you get home to click through) because the comments are absolutely priceless. I was laughing like a crazy person after a friend shared this.
I prefer a Hotsy.
I’m trying to imagine my husband’s reaction if I suggested he dunk his penis in a glass of water after sex. 
Actually—I’m trying to imagine MY reaction. Nothing in or on either of us is so bad that we need to cleanse immediately. That’s kind of insulting.
You are an evil person - I laughed and now my cubical mates want to know what’s so funny.
What am I supposed say?
Yes - specifically, they’re talking about a plastic drinking tumbler, like this:
http://www.positivemediapromotions.co.uk/400ml-plastic-beaker
Oh, never mind, just a funny sex thing I’m reading about on work time. 
I can’t even understand how a cup of water is going to be very useful in that situation.
We just have an extra large towel that we throw across the bed and lie on - then there’s no hurry to deal with cleanup. Once we’re done snuggling and getting our breath back, one uses the bathroom, then the other, then the towel goes in the wash basket.
Whaddyamean sheets? That’s what curtains are for!
Or, discarded undies at least.
Anybody else using a test tube for this?
No?
Wow, I guess we’re slobs; we are the kind of couple that argue about who gets the lay in the wet spot after sex. Then about who contributed the most amount of ‘fluid’ in the wet spot. My wife’s chief complaint is that we have sex on ‘her’ side of the bed most of the time, leaving her to lie in the wet spot, and she’s constantly trying to nudge me over to the left so I get stuck with the party favors at the end 
Yeah we’re gross.
That’s a scary, fascinating proposition - everyone post a picture of your nightstand!