Beaker? I hardly even know her!
Penis beaker? What the fuck?
Argh. No. No no no no. Definitely not.
There are tissues, there is a towel. That’s about all that’s required. Sometimes a quick wipe-down with a damp cloth, if one of us feels like it.
I have never heard of this in my entire life.
I’m just glad to have been referred to as a “gentleman” in the OP. And, no. It hasn’t been a problem.
Anyone use a power washer?
i’m a bit amused by the fellow who has a “lucky bag” with popping candy. i just can’t figure out how you go about requesting your pillow friend use the popping candy for your pleasure.
beaker was not an item listed for the “lucky bag”.
You might be gross, but you’re not alone. 
Aye. I have a saying I’d like to share: True love is getting up after sex to get a warm, moist towel so you can clean off your lover.
And unless you follow with a blow dryer set on warm, you’re second rate.
I guess this is the 21st century’s version of the “cum towel” that many people have kept by their bed. But I guess we can blame the “penis beaker” on those so-called metrosexuals who have reduced their eyebrows to a dainty remnant of their original shape. God forbid there should be a little mess (or hair) in their lives.
But in fact, my partner is my penis beaker, and never wastes a drop. I keep him because he’s so efficient.
Oh no, you won’t get pictures of MY nightstand. I can’t let everyone know about my penis jug (because sometimes a beaker isn’t enough), my penis towelettes, my penis baby wipes and accompanying penis baby wipe warmer (let’s face it, a cold wipe isn’t ideal for such a special area), my penis flashlight (in case we are having a lights out affair), and who could forget my after coitus penis mini-fan that helps cool down the area in a gentle, yet non-jarring, way.
Penis you warmly,
Mr. Penis
I should know better than to post in threads like this by now, but… I’m not sure I get this. Does spouse 1 lock spouse 2 in the bathroom overnight? If not, why can’t spouse 1 simply use the bathroom when spouse 2 has finished occupying it? And if yes, shouldn’t someone contact the police, or something (since I’m pretty sure locking your spouse in the bathroom is, indeed, very strange and not the done thing)?
I don’t know about you guys, but if I’m sticking my dick in a tumbler of water while reclining in bed, I’m probably going to start peeing.
:smack:
Active cleaning up ruins the whole “exchange of dirty bodily fluids”-point of sex. You bask in the wet spot with your sticky bodies still mushed together.
Side question: is beaker only BrE for plastic cup?
Has the word “penis” lost all meaning yet? 
“Post-coital glow”? That’s fine if you’re jejunne-young, but after a while, it’s “You done? Get the fuck off me!”
So for the OPs link, after sex, beaker ensues.
Which just leads to more sex and then you have to clean up again.