gift giving and obligation

In My Humble Opinion
1

We have a couple friends who insist on giving presents to our kids. One couple we see only a few times a year because they’ve moved and another I work with. My wife and I have never exchanged gifts with friends excluding parties, only with family, and we just never think about it. We have been embarrassed before because of this.

Honestly, I think it’s silly. And I hate the fact that now we’re obligated (aren’t we?) to return the favor. Which is my question: are we obligated? People don’t give presents just to get them in return, do they? My wife is aggravated by the whole thing. We are trying to keep to a budget and these “surprises” don’t help with that. So, are we clods? Do we buy presents and UPS them to our friends? Do we ask them to stop (I’m leaning this way, actually)? Do we smile, say thank you and leave it at that?

2

If they are just giving gifts to the kids, I don’t think you are really obliged to return anything except a nice thank-you note.

3

I agree – if they are only giving presents to the children, you shouldn’t feel obligated to reciprocate, unless, of course, they have children themselves. In that case, a polite way to head them off might be to suggest to the parents that if they feel the need to buy a gift they mihgt spend their money on something all the children could enjoy together, such as a trip to a movie, or the zoo.

4

When one of my friends gave a gift to my kid, the only obligation I felt was to have her write a thank-you note. I certainly don’t give gifts expecting something in return. I like to think my friends are the same way.