So–how to cast the rest of the S.S. Minnow survivors…?
The Skipper too: James Gandolfini
The Millionaire: Elliot Gould
and his Wife: Betty White
The Movie Star: Scarlett Johansson
The Professor: Jude Law
and Mary Ann: Amy Adams? Maybe Ellen Page?
Well, Russell Johnson, who played the Professor on TV, was a veteran of several cheesy sci-fi-B movies, where he often played a scientist, so I’d like to suggest Jeff Goldblum.
I don’t find Mary Ann “hot”, she’s supposed to be super-cute, and the ultimate girl next door. In other words the Movie star is the girl you date, Mary-Ann is the girl you marry (in your dreams).
Randy Quaid as The Skipper
Billy Bob Thornton as Thurston Howell
Madonna as Lovey Howell
Courtney Love as Ginger
Michael Richards as The Professor
Lindsey Lohan as Mary Ann
I’ll believe it when it’s in a theater. IMDb listed a Gilligan’s Island movie back in 2000, to hit theaters around 1/1/01, but that turned out to be a hoax.
But if you’ve got Depp as Gilligan, you’ve got to get Tim Burton to direct, and that means Helena Bonham Carter as Mrs. Howell.
Okay, here’s what lets do: Let’s make it like The Aristocrats. Take one twenty-two minute script, and hand it over to seven different directors/casts. String 'em all together, and you’ve got Gilligan’s Island: The Motion Picture.
Suggested script: the one where Gilligan finds the sunflower seeds that give everyone psychic powers.
Or the one where they have the Miss Castaway Beauty Pageant.
Suggested directors:
Tim Burton
Terry Gilliam
Chris Columbus
Martin Scorsese
Clint Eastwood
Ron Howard
Pedro Almodóvar
I’m thinking you just haven’t seen Bynes in her Farmgirl gettup (and I can’t seem to find any pictures online.). But you’re right about Cedric and Hudson. Cedric just has the same type of humor, and adds the “required” diversity to an otherwise all-white cast, without making him a throwaway character like is so common nowadays.
I’ll get to Hudson in my next quote.
I don’t know about hotness, but she’s much closer to the appropriate character. Hudson is just too girl-next-door. She can take racy photoshoots all she wants, but that can’t change the public’s perception of her that easily.
Ginger is supposed to be seductive, somewhat manipulative, willing to use her sexuality and attractiveness to get what she wants, but unwilling to actually go so far as use sex itself. She’s somewhat haughty, but oddly classy.
We also can’t focus on just that last part, or we’ll run into Mr. Howell’s or even Mary Ann’s character.
Flagrantly stealing a number of excellent suggestions, I’ve come up with the perfect cast:
The Skipper too: Kevin James or Andy Richter
The Millionaire: Eliot Gould - a great call
and his Wife: Betty White - perfect
The Movie Star: Amy Adams - I’m switching her to here, because I think she can do slinky very well
The Professor: Alton Brown - he definitely has the vibe
and Mary Ann: Jordana Spiro
I was thinking this morning about Lohan, and how good she would look as Ginger, but I have my doubts about her temperamental suitability to work on a project of such cultural importance.
Although I never heard any horror stories about her behavior on the set of A Prairie Home Companion. Maybe Meryl Streep is a good influence on her. So, I could see her as Ginger as long as Meryl is Mrs. Howell.