I need to laugh. And this is how you can help: give me the punchline to some sort of inside joke of yours, with absolutely no context! This is vital: I don’t want explanations, I want surreal statements to which I can create my own joke. I’ll start:
Amuse me!
I’ve got two. (no, that’s not one!)
“You gonna eat all that ice cream?”
My buddy who shared this joke with me just moved back into town. Hurray!
Some of my faves:
But the “o-r-t” is silent!
I looked at Bunny, and she was still wearing the oven mitts!
I’m sorry it’s not the highest-quality caviar.
– “You’ve lost! You just don’t know it yet!”
– “I’m good in the sack”
– “If that flag was a rag, you could say you were on the rag”
– “It’s all Rocket Man, eventually”
Is that Dr. White the veteranian?
“In that case … bring me a small child.”
“Oh no, and it’s full of heads.”
“This doesn’t involve your chick nipples again, does it?”
“That’s not cool! We’ve got a blanket on our bed!”
“Good times … latte latte.”
“There’s nothing past that but fucking a dead person.”
“Yes … if only for the term bread helmet.”
“That’s not math, that’s just knowing.”
Can you tell I write these down? 
Sorry Laura!
But does it have pockets?
I want a pony/Can I have a pony? (either works depending on the situation)
And that finally pays off! 
“…But were you memorable?”
And
“…Good night, Juan.” (followed by a jaw-dropped look of horror.) :eek:
“What a fabulous job! Did you have it done professionally, or did you do it yourself?”
“Go. Hunt. Kill Skuls.”
“Fiesta!”
"I don’t know – Labor Day, maybe … "
“I was drinking tonic water!”
<distraught> Tony Moneo! What have I done???
hops around on one leg
“I guess that would be an ot ie!”
“I-EEE-da”
“Thow socks at it, it will die, sometime soon.”
It’s a dead cat in a sack.
[Carl Sagan voice]
Billions and billions.
[/Cs voice]
Where’s the peanut butter?
“Roof roof?”
“He’s nothing but an aduki cunt!”
"…And so Raquel Welch says to the Pope - “Those aren’t BOUYS”
Punchline to an in-joke between a couple of friends of mine: “MORE. CHICKEN. NUGGETS!!”
Would…if I could…but I can’t…so I won’t
(The pauses are important)