His wallet. He can even remove the contents. The wallet must sit in the urine for 3 minutes. He may then clean the wallet however he sees fit, but he must continue to use the wallet for at least a week.
The cat peed on my wallet once, and I can tell you that the smell doesn’t come out. So Giraffe gets to walk around for a week with his back pocket emitting the smell of urine.
But that’s cat pee, lainaf. Giraffe urine is completely different.
I also would like a t-shirt.
Someone suggested contact lenses. I like that.
How about finding someone’s keys and soaking them before returning them?
The coffee pot. Or, conversely, brew a pot with the contents of the bowl.
Is Giraffe a baseball cap wearin’ type? If so, baseball cap, one hour stew time. Washed in any way you chose (must be wearable, so don’t use too much bleach!), worn for one week after. Bonus points if it is a cap from his favorite team.
hmmm…whatelse…I dunno. I’ll think of something. Right now, I gotta go pee. 
PS - Welcome to the SDMB, nerissassippi! Your husband is not well…God we love him!
Shoes?
Bathing suit?
Bottle of perfume/cologne?
So nerissassippi… Is his tongue really prehensile?
What about the remote control? (batteries removed of course)
At this point, the top 5 suggestions would seem to be:
- Sandwich in a baggie (and really, this is #1 by a longshot. Even his wife, nerissassippi is behind this idea.)
- A sno-cone in a bag
- $20 bills with “I was dropped in urine” written on them, to be spent around town.
- A bag of marshmallows
- A box of cheeseballs
How exactly is it different? Maybe it smells like roses, and that’s why Giraffe is not adverse to soaking personal items in it.
I think it was when Lynn asked that we try to raise the tone of the board a bit. I don’t think we’re quite up to Jackass standards yet, but if we all work together, I think we can make it. 
Two more days until the deadline. You know, if I had any sense I would have deleted my cookies and pretended I never heard of the SDMB the minute Mullinator opened this thread. Lucky for you all, I don’t have any sense, obviously.
(Oh, and lainaf, Giraffe urine smells like basil, actually. That’s why pesto has never really caught on in Africa.)
I am really, really looking forward to how this plays out.
Hee hee hee.
If it’s not too late, I suggest Giraffes lower jaw.
Two more shifts to go…
Well, I might as well warn you all that I’m going camping this weekend, so there will be no toilet dipping until next week. Sorry to disappoint.
In a bathroom at the local nightclub: My friend Steve quit smoking and I had not. He said he didnt mind me smoking in front of him, so I did. One night he kept begging me for a smoke. I didnt cave. Desperate he stole my lit cigarette and started placing it to his lips. I lurched forward in time to snatch the burning cancer stick before he could inhale. To prevent any further attempts I threw the pack in the urinal (and yes its a nightclub the urinal is full) next to me. I walk out and go dancing. No lie he comes up to me two minutes later with pack in hand smoking a cigarette.
5 hours, 19 minutes to go.
Camping, huh? That’s convenient. No toilets in the woods.
Which brings up an age old euphemism from the African Plains: Does a Giraffe shit in the woods?
I was kidding, lainaf…it was a really pathetic pun (as in, giraffe, not Giraffe :o [my only defense is I’d gone without sleep all night]).
Probably. I’ll let you know for sure on Monday.
[sub]Actually, I can give you a definite yes based on previous experience, but this gives you something to look forward to.[/sub]
When I first found this forum a couple of days ago I was afraid that it was a bit too cerebreal for my liking. Hell, I was just in the wrong category.
You guys take the…um…urinal cake.