Would it be better if I used the term “morbid obesity?”
You’re wrong (about me and in general) for the same reason that ladder-guy is wrong – you’re assuming that everyone’s mind works in a similar way to yours. You’re wrong about that.
It would be better if you did not use language that implied that women’s only value (or most important value) is based on their physical appearance.
I didn’t imply anything about value, just attraction to the opposite sex.
Then you shouldn’t use language (like fatty) that makes this implication. Words have meanings, and sometimes they’re not exactly the meanings we intend.
Well I’m speaking generalities. There are always exceptions. If you think I have said anything that I said is in general untrue I’d be happy to hear you say exactly what that is. You don’t think there are commonalities in how peoples minds work, and men being attracted to better looking (non-obese) women is one of those commonalities?
Fatty means exactly what I intended. One who’s obese, with excessive adipose tissue, you know, fat. Men generally are not attracted to that. For that matter, neither are women.
I agree that people, in general, are more attracted to attractive people. This is a tautology, of course. I disagree that physical attractiveness is a very high priority for most men or women beyond a certain age and level of maturity. Most mature, adult, and experienced men and women will not date someone they’re not attracted to physically at least on some level, but beyond that, most mature, adult, and experienced men and women put a much higher level of importance on things like honesty, responsibility, kindness, respectfulness, sense of humor, etc.
When I was a young guy, sex was the most important thing, or so I thought. I thought that if I could have a regular sexual relationship with a beautiful woman, nothing else would matter- life would be complete. This was not so- not even close. Having a close, intimate, equal, and loving relationship with a high-quality person who loves you back is the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced- and physical attractiveness had very little to do with it.
Fatty is a slur- one that implies (like all slurs) that its target, obese people, are lower quality people. It might not be as bad a slur as some others, but it’s still a slur. And it’s a slur that is used far more often against women.
Heh. Kable reminds me of Jack Nicholson’s character in Carnal Knowledge, Jonathan.
What is it he says?
“Believe me, looks are everything.”
Wah wah.
I’ll have to watch that. FWIW I don’t think looks are everything, but to pretend they aren’t a lot, particularly with regards to men’s attraction towards women is just a nice sounding fantasy. And telling women otherwise probably doesn’t help them get what they want either.
Guys, I’m pretty sure Kable is a Nice Guy, and we know what they’re all about. Can we get back to CMG and his trainwreck of a living situation?
Get out of the situation. I’ve been reading this thread and your thoughts seem all over the place. You objectively know that there is nothing there, but emotionally you are attached to her. You’ve said as much yourself.
Why you would even entertain this idea above is beyond me. Your roommate is correct, you are passive aggressive.
Dude, the messenger always gets killed. You have no stake in the other person’s relationship and no romantic stake in your roommates relationship. This can only end badly.
Dude, if she needs you for rent, I don’t think your plan is going to work. Plus you’ll have destroyed your (weird) relationship with her.
I thought she had good qualities that you liked?
Frankly I’m kind of confused - what, precisely, do you like/value about this woman?
Why don’t you go out and find a girlfriend or another friend? It seems as though you spend most of your time in your apartment. Go join a club or do something. You might find that if you get some outside interaction with other people that your fascination with this girl dissipates.
I think you missed a great opportunity to increase your chances of getting her into your bed OR get her thrown out of your apartment. Either way, you’d have won.
Here is what I mean: When you found out she was sleeping with that guy whom you knew had a pregnant wife, you should have confronted her with an air of moral indignation and superiority. You should have told her that you could not stand the idea of been a participant to an affair that involved an innocent pregnant woman. That you do not wish to be part of this “terrible immorality”. You should have put yourself on a moral pedestal and given her an ultimatum.
Not only would it have given you the moral right and the courage to kick her out of your apartment, it would have made you look superior to her and therefore made her see you as a guy who she needed to sexually/morally “contaminate”. You get the idea?
That’s a pretty damn good plan.
Kable, iiandyiiii, and anyone else participating in the hijack – take it elsewhere, perhaps the Pit. You’re off-topic in this thread.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator
Sorry.
In ladder theory speak I was trying to point out that the OP has this girl high up on his ladder, while he is down low on hers/on the friend ladder. So he needs to do things to move him up women’s ladders in general, and keep him off the friend ladder of those he is interested in. Else he has to come to terms with dropping his standards with regards to who he is interested in on his ladder, and no guy wants to do that. So like Sparky said, he needs to man up, because few things drop you lower on anyones ladder than passive aggressive neediness. Just saying, sorry if I was a little to frank.
It just seems like if CMG ever got her in bed, he’d be head over heels-- for about 12 hours until she tells him that even though they’re friends (the big F word), she’d like to see other people. Or she’d cheat in a week.
This girl is in the testing phase. Hook up with her when she’s 40. What’s left of her might settle with him.
Dude, the girl is trash; she’s a manipulative, self-absorbed whore and cares nothing about you. Get her out of your life ASAP. You don’t need that shit in your life.
But that’s the easy part. The more challenging task is changing you. You appear to have a complete lack of confidence and self-respect. You need to change this.